You Are A Ninja.

Hurr Durr Derp

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Apr 8, 2009
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I'd use my NINJA MAGIC to blow up the whole building.
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Because that's what a real ninja would do, obviously. :3
 

ShadowKatt

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Mar 19, 2009
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Vrud said:
ShadowKatt said:
You really want an answer to this problem? Okay, first off, I actually HAVE experience doing this kind of thing. Not to this extreme, but B&E, Oh yeah. So, here we go. We're taking the water route.

Piranah are no problem. Contrary to popular belief, they're scavangers, not predators. Unless something is wounded and bleeding, they're not going to bother it. The electric fence isn't going to be a danger, since it's in the water, which means it's utterly shorted as soon as it was turned on(and I know it's in the water because you said the fish are on both sides). Even if it was on a wall above the water though, using a thrown cable or rope I could short it against the water. Fence is done. THe lock is a lock, locks can be subverted or destroyed, my choice at the moment. Snipers aren't that big a deal. Underwater using a snorkel I'm practically invisable. Even if they did see me though, the water would alter the trajectories of the bullets or destroy them within the first foot or so, so they aren't a threat. After I approach the building, rather than mess with the guards, I'm going to scale the side of it until I reach the floor I need. Then I'll use gas bombs(smoke or nerve, preferably nerve) to clear out any guards. Grab the package, dive into the water and return.

Edit: Oh, and for reference, a list of necessary equipment.
Climbing spikes(Hands)
Climbing spikes(Feet)
Bolo/Quantity 1-3/3 ft. length/metal weighted ends
Explosive gas bombs/powdered incindiary neurotoxin
Throwing stars
Caltrops
Snorkel
Plastic Bag(for package)
Yeah, that about won this thread.
Yeah, I realised after I went through and wrote all that, that it was a joke. Epic fail on my part.
 

Redingold

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Mar 28, 2009
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I don't need a plan when I'm a ninja. I just...er...ninj at things and they die. (Yeah, I'm such an awesome ninja, even my text is invisible)
 

jacobgr43

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Jun 5, 2010
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i would attack at night i would fire tranquilizers at the watchmen on the spotlights and snipers on the roof so theres noone to see me enter on my way in id remove the darts from the guards at ground level so they're unconciouse bodies are less suspicious then i would slowly rappple my way up the building and remove the darts from the snipers before entering through the roof access the it would be a simple case of slowly moving through the building turning off lights taking out guards till i reach my mark and escaping via the roof the way batman did in the dark night when he hooked himself to the plane it that fauiled i would resort to plan B which is retrace my steps back out firing more tranq's at the remaining guards (yep i planned theis out)
 

AngryMongoose

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Jan 18, 2010
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Darth Caelum said:
Yeah......I'm gonna go with threatening a Head of State that has Access to Nuclear weapons to burn that entire complex to the ground. [sub]I chose assassination just so you'd know[/sub] Why would he do so, when he knows that it would likely create an International Incident?

Because I'm a Fucking Ninja.


Oh God......This is truly Ironic. You there! Yeah You fucking NINJA. YOU NINJA'D ME.

I go Chemical weapons now. Same Method on how to get it.
Well, there are some differences in our methods. You plan to use your Ninja skills to carefully infiltrate a high security government building, dispatch all of the guards, kidnap the head of state, and force him to fire the nukes.

Me? Not even gonna pretend i'm a ninja; just nuke the damn place.

[sub]I chose obtaining someone just so you'd know. Hope he likes radiation.[/sub]
 

Deathlord665

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Nov 23, 2009
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I would use my ninja powers of teleportation/ invisibility and kill all who stand in my way without getting spotted and hide all the bodies in ingenious spots, then i would run like hell away from there after i finished the mission
 

Nazz3

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1. Drive a bike max speed on the stretch and deflect bullets with my swords
2. Use my parachute thing (Just Cause 2 style)
3. Fly to the side of the skyscraper and crash there through the window
4. First deflect guard bullets with my swords, then throw 2 throwing knifes at the guards, and finish the rest with my akimbo Uzis
5. Rescue the hot girl and jump down of the building with my JC2 parachute while the whole place explodes
 

Treblaine

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signingupforgames said:
You're sent to kill/obtain someone/something. There's a problem though. It's sent on an extremely small peninsula. Search lights are trained on that one thin stretch of land going to the skyscraper he/she/it is hiding/housed in. The water route has electric fences and a thirty combination lock. Piranha prowl the area on both sides of the fence. Snipers are seated on top of the roof with bullets designed to pierce through the water. Thousands of guards prowl each floor. It's going to be tough. But your enemies have a big problem. You. Because you are a ninja.

Edit: There's a time limit. You have two days.

Describe how you'd break in to this building.


I heard no mention of any anti-tank weapons or land mines. Ok, not so ninja but you can't deny it's effectiveness. Snipers would be useless against this and you can just bombard it with high velocity shells to take out sniper positions, you may just be able to cause the building to collapse or at least fuck it up so bad you can easily walk in wipe up the survivors.
 

Canid117

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Oct 6, 2009
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Cut the power zoom in with a zodiac steal/kill/do whatever and get the fuck out.
 

Infernai

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Apr 14, 2009
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Just me, some weird armor and a sword that eats souls...basically just rush through as fast as possible, via Stealth Dash, without getting spotted.

Failing that, theres always hiding under a cardboard box, you'd be surprised how much that works <P
 

nuba km

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Jun 7, 2010
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(I have to kill the leader of a twilight fan club and I'm an actual ninja not a movie or video game ninja)simple I would on day one I would place explosives on all near by power plants then I would find the building blue prints and identifie weak points. now is the night of day two I would detonate the power plants taking out the electric fence and the flash lights then any out side security guard will be call back into the building to help secure the building. any left out side I would pick off using guerilla warfare techniques. then I would place explosives on any outside building weak points then detonate lets say the building is still standing. I would sneak into the building under the commission then places explosives on inside building weak-points. if I get caught I would detonate to take out all the twilight fans with me but if I don't get caught I blow up the twilight fans live and then put under arrest but every person with a brain cell would love me.

also if I don't go to prison I would sneak into a graveyard and piss on all the graves.

if you want my help 'telling' with any twilight fans you know just call my user name out of the window and I shall come.
 

ProtoChimp

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Feb 8, 2010
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signingupforgames said:
You're sent to kill/obtain someone/something. There's a problem though. It's sent on an extremely small peninsula. Search lights are trained on that one thin stretch of land going to the skyscraper he/she/it is hiding/housed in. The water route has electric fences and a thirty combination lock. Piranha prowl the area on both sides of the fence. Snipers are seated on top of the roof with bullets designed to pierce through the water. Thousands of guards prowl each floor. It's going to be tough. But your enemies have a big problem. You. Because you are a ninja.

Describe how you'd break in to this building.
Okay seriously, now my previous post about Seppuku is now the backup plan, the more likely to happen backup plan but still just a backup plan for now.

First I would gather all of this equipment, except I would also bring teargas, 2 Tanto's and a Katana in case I unfortunately got into a close combat situation, plus they're fucking cool. Yes I know not very professional but only about 4 people are being serious on this thread so what the hey
ShadowKatt said:
Edit: Oh, and for reference, a list of necessary equipment.
Climbing spikes(Hands)
Climbing spikes(Feet)
Bolo/Quantity 1-3/3 ft. length/metal weighted ends
Explosive gas bombs/powdered incindiary neurotoxin
Throwing stars
Caltrops
Snorkel
Plastic Bag(for package)
I would spend a while carefully mapping the place, observing the time a spotlight on the strip of land stays in one place. I would then swim around the peninsula without harm because, according to our residential ninja
ShadowKatt said:
Piranah are no problem. Contrary to popular belief, they're scavangers, not predators. Unless something is wounded and bleeding, they're not going to bother it.
While swiming I would observe any guard movements. I would then swim back to the strip of land, but I would stay just to the side of the shore still swimming. I would climb up the towers with the spotlights from the water and silently kill the guards there manning the spotlights making my entry and escape easier. No doubt the sudden stop of the spotlights would attarct the attention of the guards and some would be dispatched to inspect the situation, so before they came I would throw the bodies down into the water thus setting off the piranah and feeding the little buggers. I would then use this oppurtunity to sneak in to the complex. I would then place caltrops by the gate so when the guards come back they are incapacitated. I would then silently kill any guards outside the building. I would try infiltrating the building and, while by now they would clearly be alerted to my presence, I would cut off the power to the power generators, including the back up generator they would obviously need in case of intrusion, needed to maintain all that electricty thus fucking up their security systems. The guards would be nervous without any power and even if they had night vision I would use my awesome ninja skills to stick to the shadows and pick them off one by one using my throwing stars, Tanto's and Katana. Once I made it to the top I would

If it was a person I needed to kill: I would throw in all my explosives and kill/blind everyone in the room and then go in swinging with my Katana to take out any stragglers (Not very stealthy but I'm tired and I've had this on another tab for like 4 hours now).

If it was a package: I would release my teargas (no violent explosive in case I damaged the package) and use my throwing stars to take them out from a distance quickly and then use my Katana to take out any stragglers.

Then I would scale down the building, sneak across the thin strech of land and take out any remaining guards and bail.
 

Free Thinker

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Apr 23, 2010
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*ahem*
I will NINJA you out of your mind!
I'll simply run down the peninsula.
As a ninja I can see all of the snipers and the guards. So, I throw, with mechanical precision, flash bangs in all directions and proceed to kill said guards and snipers silently and swiftly then moving onto the target.
Inside the building is the most difficult. Judging by previous scenario, the house/base is even more heavily guarded. I assume turrets,cameras, heavily armed guards ready for close-range combat, i.e, shotguns and sub-machine guns, and the hallways and rooms are brightly lit. So remove the turrets, a well thrown knife will dismantle said turrets, a tar bomb to blind cameras, and as for the guards, smoke bombs to distract them then navigate the rooms to get behind and end their henchmen ways. After all obstacles gone, I will assassinate the target, plant some explosives, and then proceed to leave and detonate sad explosives.

That is all.
 

Mariakitten

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Mar 29, 2010
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Throw a throwing star in the opposite direction have it ricochet off of 30 different walls and kill every guard in the castle. I can do that because Im a ninja, and ninjas are awesome.
 

Vrach

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Jun 17, 2010
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AngryMongoose said:
Nuclear bomb.

Fuck ninjas, nukes solve everything.
There is no issue that cannot be resolved with a sufficient amount of TNT :p
 

ShadowKatt

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Mar 19, 2009
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ProtoChimp said:
Serious Snip
Isn't that basicly what I did? Only a lot harder and bloodier? The easiest fight to win is the fight that isn't fought. Ninjas epitomized stealth and efficiency, not wanton slaughter.

And I know it's nit-picking, but ninjas rarely carried katana unless they were impersonating a samurai. Their normal sword was a ninja-to or wakizashi carried in a katana scabbard to decieve the enemy.

Edit: Also nit-picking, but caltrops wouldn't incapacitate anyone unless they were tipped with a very powerful neurotoxin. Caltrops are painful and meant to slow pursuit or escape only, or deter possible followers completely.
 
Apr 29, 2010
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Did someone order a large pizza?

That's how I'd do it. Just wait for someone on the correct floor to order a pizza, then find said pizza guy, knock him out, and assume his identity, giving me an excellent disguise to infiltrate the building in broad daylight.