I dunno. I'm tired of trying to fix things. I'd probably build a 100% sustainable colony on the moon, get enough humans to sustain a viable population on the colony, then nuke Earth and laugh at myself having destroyed everything that ever annoyed me. Then I might blow open all the airlocks for fun. Yeah, I'm in a genocidal mood atm.
You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth", what do you do first?
- Thread starter CulixCupric
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Celebrate that phase 1 of my plan was succesful.
Proceed to phase 2: Get proper space travel working and take over the rest of the universe before this rock runs out of resources and is too poluted to achieve it.
Proceed to phase 2: Get proper space travel working and take over the rest of the universe before this rock runs out of resources and is too poluted to achieve it.
Revive Hitler and Stalin, then have them brawl for my amusement.
Then when the winner is decided, make him wear a silly dress.
Keep reviving the other guy and every time one of them croaks, get the new winner a more humiliating dress.
This way I can create either an Uber-Hitler who has the power to instantly turn everyone into their most hated stereotype of a minority, or Super Stalin with the power to brew moonshine out of dust.
Then when the winner is decided, make him wear a silly dress.
Keep reviving the other guy and every time one of them croaks, get the new winner a more humiliating dress.
This way I can create either an Uber-Hitler who has the power to instantly turn everyone into their most hated stereotype of a minority, or Super Stalin with the power to brew moonshine out of dust.
In one particular language that the scientific community happens to like. Not necessarily "original" in general terms.CulixCupric said:
...
If I was the evil overlord of the earth, I tell you what I'd do. Id throw away the cars and the bars and the wars and make sweet love to you.
The Man in the High Castle?Me55enger said:
In my case, I'd be the benevolent dictator of the world. No more faffing around with 'oooh, climate change might not be caused by humans' and 'oooh, deary me, there's not enough money to do anything at the moment'. We need that infrastructure in place yesterday. I'm talking Tobin Taxes, nuclear and renewable energy being built and researched as fast as possible (particularly getting fusion into commercial viability), research into hydroponics and GM crops (no, it is not 'Frankenstein Food', Daily Mail) ad a general mass commitment to continue our civilization without wrecking the environment any more than necessary.
And I don't care what anyone says, we're going to Mars and that's final. Space elevators to come after that.
Considering I already had the idea that I would attempt to cure my family heart disease and accidentally give myself super-powers in the process, I will probably take over the world with my super-strength and lightning powers and then the world's governments will crumble beneath me.
After I have established power I would just start blowing shit up to ensure that everyone knows the extent of my ruthlessness and power. Once I have put the fear of me into everyone's heart, I will start killing off all those who oppose me, starting with Bobby Kotic at his underground evil laboratory made of pure gold and children's tears.
Next would be funneling the world's money from useless things like health care (why would I need it, I basically made myself immortal) and military (why would I need to have people fight my battles when I can literally electrocute anyone who opposes me?) and put it towards things I want, like giving money to Bioware so they don't need EA anymore and they can keep their money-grubbing hands out of Bioware's business and giving money to my I-Need-A-Massively-Over-Sized-Incredibly-Evil-Lair-Inside-A-Volcano-Orbiting-Earth fund.
At this point I will get bored and demand to conquer more planets and races to be part of my evil empire. I would turn New Jersey into one big slave labor internment camp and use the energy obtained from burning their fake tan oil and them manually turning a turbine to power my evil lair while it travels the stars finding more life to conquer. I probably should have mentioned that my lair will be roughly the size of the entire state of New Jersey. In fact, it will literally be the entire state ripped from the Earth itself.
After I have established power I would just start blowing shit up to ensure that everyone knows the extent of my ruthlessness and power. Once I have put the fear of me into everyone's heart, I will start killing off all those who oppose me, starting with Bobby Kotic at his underground evil laboratory made of pure gold and children's tears.
Next would be funneling the world's money from useless things like health care (why would I need it, I basically made myself immortal) and military (why would I need to have people fight my battles when I can literally electrocute anyone who opposes me?) and put it towards things I want, like giving money to Bioware so they don't need EA anymore and they can keep their money-grubbing hands out of Bioware's business and giving money to my I-Need-A-Massively-Over-Sized-Incredibly-Evil-Lair-Inside-A-Volcano-Orbiting-Earth fund.
At this point I will get bored and demand to conquer more planets and races to be part of my evil empire. I would turn New Jersey into one big slave labor internment camp and use the energy obtained from burning their fake tan oil and them manually turning a turbine to power my evil lair while it travels the stars finding more life to conquer. I probably should have mentioned that my lair will be roughly the size of the entire state of New Jersey. In fact, it will literally be the entire state ripped from the Earth itself.
Oh my god the possibilities.
firstly, start world war 3 and bring down religion (for shits n giggles)
Begin a space programme to find other life far away (Prepare for many failed attempts)
Force Ben Croshaw to be my travelling companion and he will say witty things for my amusement.
Go on a killing spree because I can.
start working on a way to make myself immortal.
And the rest goes on from there!
firstly, start world war 3 and bring down religion (for shits n giggles)
Begin a space programme to find other life far away (Prepare for many failed attempts)
Force Ben Croshaw to be my travelling companion and he will say witty things for my amusement.
Go on a killing spree because I can.
start working on a way to make myself immortal.
And the rest goes on from there!
everyone must be a veggie from here on! the killing stops! cows and pigs will be your new sub-overlords, and if you want milk and eggs you have to be said chicken or cow's ***** for 12 hours.
then just recruit all the hottest girls in the world and totally get laid
edit: oh right i forgot, before i initiate my "no killing" law, i WILL need to kill 99% of the human population of earth.... what? we need more elbow room around here! we'll have a lottery to decide who gets to live
OH! another thing! just for giggles, i'll "retire" after a year of dictarorship and have a sock puppet called squffles take over my possition, i'd hide under my platform and control squffles as he rules over the people, there'll be statues and everything, s'gonna be awesome
then just recruit all the hottest girls in the world and totally get laid
edit: oh right i forgot, before i initiate my "no killing" law, i WILL need to kill 99% of the human population of earth.... what? we need more elbow room around here! we'll have a lottery to decide who gets to live
OH! another thing! just for giggles, i'll "retire" after a year of dictarorship and have a sock puppet called squffles take over my possition, i'd hide under my platform and control squffles as he rules over the people, there'll be statues and everything, s'gonna be awesome
Why not the queens ? i'm for the equality between men a women.Matthew Dunn said:The Queens head shall stay on her neck
Then a random Chav/Justin beiber/other people murder spree
As for Justin pampers and his kind i'll rather sentence them to death for crime against humanity and broadcast the execution worldwide with "Ride the Lightning" playing.
Ho, and don't forget to remove any rights on Star Wars from George Lucas.
First off I would make the capitol of the world BumFuckt, Egypt Afterwards I would change the pronunciation to drop the t sound and then require everyone to Say "Surprise Bumfuckt!" Whenever greeting someone in that city.
Second require my servants to finish my collection of 3 copies of every game that exists, existed, will exist, and could exist within the week or face death. Maybe quicker and I might prevent overpopulation.
Third, Announce to the world that I am building a doomsday machine that will be fired on December 21st 2012 and when fired it turns out it's the machine from Lemon Demon's song The Machine in that it does nothing whatsoever.
Fourth burn the top brass of EA alive and replace it with people who have worked for valve for over 5 years. Maybe do the same for activision. We may not get games on time but by god they will be polished.
Fifth and most important of all I will follow the Evil Overlord List religiously.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
Second require my servants to finish my collection of 3 copies of every game that exists, existed, will exist, and could exist within the week or face death. Maybe quicker and I might prevent overpopulation.
Third, Announce to the world that I am building a doomsday machine that will be fired on December 21st 2012 and when fired it turns out it's the machine from Lemon Demon's song The Machine in that it does nothing whatsoever.
Fourth burn the top brass of EA alive and replace it with people who have worked for valve for over 5 years. Maybe do the same for activision. We may not get games on time but by god they will be polished.
Fifth and most important of all I will follow the Evil Overlord List religiously.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
First order of business: I demand a robot army.No not silly,cutsy robots you can incapacitate by picking it up and dropping it in a ditch somewhere,nor awful robotic suits like gundams.
I want real badass giant robots with proton cannons,quantum blasters and laser missiles.
Yes,you read me right,I want my robot army to have missiles made out of fucking laser beams.
Second order of business,all your countries are belong to me.I command all of you to thrive in harmony,or else laser missiles.
Third order of business,space program.I want to colonize the sun.
That should keep my advisors and scientists busy for a while.
I want real badass giant robots with proton cannons,quantum blasters and laser missiles.
Yes,you read me right,I want my robot army to have missiles made out of fucking laser beams.
Second order of business,all your countries are belong to me.I command all of you to thrive in harmony,or else laser missiles.
Third order of business,space program.I want to colonize the sun.
That should keep my advisors and scientists busy for a while.
Hookers and blowjobs for everyone!Zaul2010 said:
systematically terminate everyone who voted for George W. Bush.
seriously, those people are too stupid to live...
and PETA...
seriously, those people are too stupid to live...
and PETA...