You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth", what do you do first?

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Frungy

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Feb 26, 2009
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Lemme think. Hmmm...

1. Have all politicians executed.. on principle. They're all part of the problem.

2. Rewrite all the world's legal systems to simply say, "Thou shalt not be an asshole. (except me, I can do what I like)". Judges will be empowered to assign any sentence they find just, with the important caveat that if it's overturned on review just a panel of higher judges the original judge suffers the same sentence as they originally allocated.

3. Mandatory birth control in the water supply. Access to the antidote subject to passing an examination proving your fitness as a parent (includes basic tests for intelligence, child rearing skills, etc.). No more idiots breeding just because they can.

4. Universities and other educational institutions must receive at least triple the budget of any military expenditure. Better educated people tend to find more creative ways than just shooting at each other.

5. All drugs, medications, etc, made over-the-counter. If people want to drink/drug/etc themselves to death then really I couldn't care. It'll thin out the idiot population.

6. In any company found selling or making products that are dangerous the CEO and board of directors will be drawn and quartered (wild horses, ropes tied to each limb), and anyone who had knowledge of the danger but failed to bring it to the authorities' attention will suffer the same fate.

7. No more copyright, trademarks, etc. All knowledge is public domain. No state secrets either. People trying to mislead the public by copying another company's name, logo, etc can be dealt with under the standard, "Thou shalt not be an asshole." clause.

8. Maximum salaries will be capped at 100 times that of the lowest paid worker. Simply put, I find it impossible to imagine that any single individial is working 100 times harder than everyone else.

9. Every child to receive free food, housing and medical care. Mandatory sentence of death for anyone harming a child in any way. No exceptions.

For myself? Nothing really, I'm quite content to continue my life as is.
 

KiruTheMant

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Nov 2, 2009
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Infuse pure unstable genetic formats in ants, so each generation gets wrose in some way.

Normal Fire Ants? More like FLYING DRAGON ANTS!
 

SaunaKalja

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Sep 18, 2009
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Just because I saw a PETA thread in the 'recently posted' topics... I'd have those idiotic PETA members slapped in the face with a wad of tofu. Then I'd actually do something to help the living conditions of abused animals, instead of whining like a retard about animals in QTE's or the names of towns. Then I'd have them slapped in the face again.
 

band43seat

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Mar 13, 2010
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force the governments to give me $10 million canadian dollars per nation, per month, and if they dont, i would destroy that nation, then i would force american politicians to grow a brain, or let me decide what is best for them. then i would change my title to just "ruler of earth" and pick area on the globe, and have a competition for every woman between the ages of 18 and 30 that lives in that area, with the prize being a 1 of 7 jobs that earns 1 million a month
 

StormShaun

The Basement has been unleashed!
Feb 1, 2009
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Wait, how do people say i'm EVIL!

Cancel the evil part and thats me.

Well I would get better leaders for the world.
Solve all of the worlds problems.
Unite the world under my flag.
Explore space.

I could list others but I'm not bothered.
 

Deceptive_Trixter

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Oct 21, 2011
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Do an evil laugh which is an important routine for new overlords especially with a traitorous demon lord and a love obsessed angel as an ally.
 

Macgyvercas

Spice & Wolf Restored!
Feb 19, 2009
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Following my Evil Overlord List, I will immediately lock my subjects in a permanent mindless trance by providing them with free unlimited internet access.
 
Feb 28, 2008
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Me55enger said:
I would drain the mediterranian (spelt wrong) sea and use it for fertile farming ground, then colonise the moon and have a war with the east.

Points for the book reference.
The Man in the High Castle.

I would invest all possible money and resources into creating my fantasy of flying around in a vastly powerful suit of armour, a sort of Iron Man but better. Then I would fly.
 

Zeema

The Furry Gamer
Jun 29, 2010
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Kill the Idiots/Criminals
Fix the Crime system
Kill everyone after lunch
 

ImperialSunlight

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Nov 18, 2009
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Quit. I can't tell people how to run their lives...

On the other hand, living in a giant palace of dread would be nice...
and I would rather enjoy having people fight to the death for my amusement...
and to crack down on crime by cracking down on criminals' backs...
 

2xDouble

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Mar 15, 2010
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The first thing I'd do? change my name from "Evil Overlord of Earth" to "Glorious Leader". After that I'd just kinda wing it.
CulixCupric said:
I'd take half the worlds money, reinstate all former world leaders, are retire, to my flying lair-castle of dread.
Taking the "Magneto" approach, eh? heh.
 

Cipher1

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Feb 28, 2011
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Either rename the Europe the British Empire and rename the Euro the Pound Sterling or have England towed to America and become the 51st state that should please the daily mail for once.