Not The Bees said:
I pointed out to one person, one of the ones that I would say that I enjoy talking to, that it might be a good idea to suggest to the group to calm down some of the rhetoric, because on one page they were talking about including feminists but two posts down from that several people were talking about how they hated feminists. It felt a bit bi-polar. I wasn't making a mean statement, it was going to him as just an observation as an outsider who might come in to the thread to read to see what was going on. I wasn't even being critical, it was literally just "Hey, heads up, you might want to watch out for this stuff in case new people come in and get confused."
And I got so many nasty private messages after that, from the anti-feminists, that I had to hit my ignore button so many times that I thought maybe I broke it.
So maybe I don't have to be afraid, but I sure don't feel comfortable. And quite frankly, I think that's a lot worse. At least I know what to do when I'm afraid. I can fight back. Right now I'm not even sure I want to continue to visit the Escapist any longer, as it's no longer a website that makes me feel welcomed. I'm more of an outsider here than I ever was in high school
I remember that situation and I'm still annoyed about it.
Mainly for the private messages sent your way later.
I hope you did report it as I asked at the time.
I'm sad to hear that you don't feel welcome though.
I can understand that feeling in a thread where the majority are following one side of an argument, after all it's got to be intimidating to be the one holding the contrary position and knowing you'll draw the attention of so many replies when you make any statement.
The five responses you received aren't fair reactions, though the fifth doesn't always imply dismissal.
I'm ignored in there too, on occasion.
The four other potted response are unfair dismissals and, frankly, should not be a response to a contrary voice that speaks out.
Granted, the people who do respond that way may genuinely believe what they are saying, but it doesn't make them right.
Aside from contributing the the feeling of being outnumbered in a thread, those responses in themselves are evidence of poor behavior on the parts of the individuals who do respond that way and I can understand that leading to a feeling of unwelcome in that thread, but I don't see how that can stretch to the rest of the site.
Now, if the feeling of unwelcome is due to overspill into other threads, then I can understand that.
It does happen though it shouldn't.
In fairness to this, there are some threads that are ancillary to topics that involve GamerGate, such as this one.
However, in looking at a glance at the off topic section, the threads that qualify under that criteria are a greatly in the minority.
I've seen a little bleed over into the Games forum, but they sink quickly and rightly so.
I'm not questioning the fact that you do feel unwelcome on this site.
What I am doing is trying to understand why.
The issues you raised are, save for the PM responses, exclusive to that thread and the few others that relate to periphery issues.
If there is someone using the PM system to behave poorly, a moderator needs to know about it.
Not just for yourself, but for all the other people they could be doing the same to out of public sight.
I guess, the reason I'm trying to unravel this with guesswork is simply this.
No one deserves to feel unwelcome on this website, and if there's a way to resolve that, I want to be part of the solution.
It's a big place and there's room for all.