You know you've been on the Escapist too long when...

[Headsprouter]

When you didn't see that one coming, though.

...Because you and deja vu have been going steady for about a year now and you're going to surprise her with anniversary gifts!

 

[Barbas]

...Because you and deja vu have been going steady for about a year now and you're going to surprise her with anniversary gifts!

When you're wondering what a headsprouter's ideal partner must look like.

 

[Headsprouter]

When you're wondering what a headsprouter's ideal partner must look like.

Either of these feminine undead abominations that never made it into Timesplitters 3.

Spoiler: Probably.

Unless...Headsprouters bat for the other team... *shrugs*

When you're discussing the sexual preferences of undead abominations.

 

[FPLOON]

You just stand there and watch it burn...

 

[Barbas]

You just sit there and listen to it scream.

 

[Headsprouter]

You're not even bothered by the smell *sniff* of rotting flesh!

 

[Barbas]

Your one remaining weakness is static.

 

[FPLOON]

You cum Steam!

 

[Barbas]

...You're surprised by that, but no longer shocked.

 

[FPLOON]

You laugh at that one comment unironically...

 

[Barbas]

You just click on these things without even reading them first.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

You keep coming back despite, you know, life.

 

[Barbas]

This is life. That guy must have a sprocket loose or something!

 

[FPLOON]

You receive so many messages... but none of them are dedicated to you personally...

 

[Barbas]

You could probably do with a shoulder massage.

 

[FPLOON]

You're still awake? GO TO SLEEP ALREADY, MAN! IT'S DAYTIME IN MY TIMEZONE!

 

[Albino Boo]

FPLOON starts making sense.

 

[Barbas]

albino boo's turned into a hedgehog.

 

[FPLOON]

Barbas knows your name...

 

[Barbas]

This makes less sense than those award shows.