Your Biggest Epic Fail
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My now ex-wife.
It wasen't I did something worg so much. It was I failed to realise I could never do right by her no matter what I did. All held in double standards. Even when I gave exactly what she wanted. The appreciation would last only as long as she got what she wanted. Immediately after it became "what I have I done for her lately."
Of course I am biased and have been drinking as I write this. But she did have bad credit living from paycheck to paycheck and I have good credit. After hers was fixed and paid for by me, out of the blue, I wasen't relationship worthy.
Whah, whah, whah...get over it I know.
I know, really I do. I am just saying I learned my lessons well from it. Just because someone smiles at you and gives up some arse doesn't mean they care. Plenty do it for free.
There are three type of people in the world. Stupid, people that keep making the same mistake over and over. Smart, people that make a mistake and learn from it. Wise, people that learn from the mistakes of others and do not make the same mistake.
I was stupid, but I am smart. Not wise however. I won't make the same mistake again.
But if you are wise. Don't marry someone that has ruined their credit and lives paycheck to paycheck, no matter how much they smile and gives up the booty. It won't last. They ruined their credit for a reason.
Male, female, gay, straight...It doesn't matter. Word to the wise. Not your mother, Marky Mark. Of course maybe she left because I reference stupid popular culture. Never stated.
It wasen't I did something worg so much. It was I failed to realise I could never do right by her no matter what I did. All held in double standards. Even when I gave exactly what she wanted. The appreciation would last only as long as she got what she wanted. Immediately after it became "what I have I done for her lately."
Of course I am biased and have been drinking as I write this. But she did have bad credit living from paycheck to paycheck and I have good credit. After hers was fixed and paid for by me, out of the blue, I wasen't relationship worthy.
Whah, whah, whah...get over it I know.
I know, really I do. I am just saying I learned my lessons well from it. Just because someone smiles at you and gives up some arse doesn't mean they care. Plenty do it for free.
There are three type of people in the world. Stupid, people that keep making the same mistake over and over. Smart, people that make a mistake and learn from it. Wise, people that learn from the mistakes of others and do not make the same mistake.
I was stupid, but I am smart. Not wise however. I won't make the same mistake again.
But if you are wise. Don't marry someone that has ruined their credit and lives paycheck to paycheck, no matter how much they smile and gives up the booty. It won't last. They ruined their credit for a reason.
Male, female, gay, straight...It doesn't matter. Word to the wise. Not your mother, Marky Mark. Of course maybe she left because I reference stupid popular culture. Never stated.
One time, when I was really young, I was going up to the alter for Communion. I'd never had the wine before, so I tried some, but before I moved on, I told the priest, directly to his face, "This stuff is terrible!"
And then there was last year where I procrastinated on a final essay for history and turned in a one-and-a-half page paper for something that was supposed to be ten pages.
And then there was last year where I procrastinated on a final essay for history and turned in a one-and-a-half page paper for something that was supposed to be ten pages.
Running full pelt down the street with my Jack Russell on his lead. Dog goes one side of a lamp post, I go the other. I jolt up into the air and end up on my back practically unconcious and totally winded. Dog waters lamp post.
also there was this time i raced to stop a door closing, slammed into it just as it clicked shut. my arm went through it but most of the skin didn't....
Oh, the many, many times... mostly at work. Because, lord help me, I am a Maccas chick.
1.
Working drive-thru one night, I'd moseyed out to front counter to mop the floors for my close. At the end of the product "bin" was the cappucino maker and a gap to walk through. The headset I was wearing beeped, indicating that there was a car in drive-thru. I ran for the gap, missed, hit the cappucino machine, my legs slipped out from underneath me and my left shoe flew over the counter and landed in someone's tray of freshly-ordered food as I landed flat on my back on wet tiles. I kid you not.
2.
The store was closed and a friend and I were mucking around. There is a long corridor that leads to the back of the store where we leave broken-down boxes until the following morning to take them outside. I chased him down, slipped on a flat box and landed on my butt.
3.
Wondering to myself in a bus station why there wasn't a second set of stairs for people going down to the buses... then realising how stupid that really was.
4.
Playing Halo with a friend who proceded to get in the Banshee and chase me across the canyon with it, with me screaming "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"
...
Give me time. I'll think of some more.
1.
Working drive-thru one night, I'd moseyed out to front counter to mop the floors for my close. At the end of the product "bin" was the cappucino maker and a gap to walk through. The headset I was wearing beeped, indicating that there was a car in drive-thru. I ran for the gap, missed, hit the cappucino machine, my legs slipped out from underneath me and my left shoe flew over the counter and landed in someone's tray of freshly-ordered food as I landed flat on my back on wet tiles. I kid you not.
2.
The store was closed and a friend and I were mucking around. There is a long corridor that leads to the back of the store where we leave broken-down boxes until the following morning to take them outside. I chased him down, slipped on a flat box and landed on my butt.
3.
Wondering to myself in a bus station why there wasn't a second set of stairs for people going down to the buses... then realising how stupid that really was.
4.
Playing Halo with a friend who proceded to get in the Banshee and chase me across the canyon with it, with me screaming "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"
...
Give me time. I'll think of some more.
Angelic_Dragon will piss himself over this, he was sitting next to the printer when I did it.
The place: School
The time: 10 minutes before the end of the deadline for my ICT coursework.
The task: fake a letter of gratitude from my "clients" whom I had been designing a website from, although I was told that they weren't bothered 3 weeks after the project started.
I have 2 pieces of headed paper, so I get one chance to this wrong. I mark a blank bit of paper with top, bottom and back to see how it will print, to see which way my project needs to be. I put the first piece of paper in the printer and... It's upside-down. Right side of the paper, just completely upsidedown. No worries, that's what spares are for. I put the second piece of paper in... Wikipedia's opinion on Malaysia? What the hell??
Year 9 kid: "Hey, have my Geography notes printed out in here?"
I had to scan and crop the original sheet, I handed my project in late.
Still got a pass though *shrug*
The place: School
The time: 10 minutes before the end of the deadline for my ICT coursework.
The task: fake a letter of gratitude from my "clients" whom I had been designing a website from, although I was told that they weren't bothered 3 weeks after the project started.
I have 2 pieces of headed paper, so I get one chance to this wrong. I mark a blank bit of paper with top, bottom and back to see how it will print, to see which way my project needs to be. I put the first piece of paper in the printer and... It's upside-down. Right side of the paper, just completely upsidedown. No worries, that's what spares are for. I put the second piece of paper in... Wikipedia's opinion on Malaysia? What the hell??
Year 9 kid: "Hey, have my Geography notes printed out in here?"
I had to scan and crop the original sheet, I handed my project in late.
Still got a pass though *shrug*
My family has two dogs, and we were about to do a "total family walk"(as in, everyone in my family, including the dogs). I was in charge of the bigger one of the two dogs. I held on to her leash tightly. As my dad opened the backyard gate, the dog I was holding the leash on made a mad dash to the open gate (anytime she can go for a walk, she gets overly excited), and I (still holding the leash for dear life) got yanked off the ground and landed about a few feet from where I was standing. It was a good thing that I let go of the leash when I hit the ground, or I would've been dragged across the backyard.