chinangel said:
this is for everyone but as a transgirl myself, I have become curious.
Let's say you have a child and as they grow up you notice they're not like other kids. THey're either unusually effeminate or tomboyish, liking my little pony or transformers over what you would normally expect for a child.
And they're not growing out of it. In fact they're expressing a strong desire to become the opposite gender, saying that they want medicine to change them....
How, as a parent, would you handle this? Bear in mind we are talking about someone roughly around 13 years old.
What would you do, and why?
Not much to be honest. Like it or not some curiousity about the opposite gender is to be expected. It's not uncommon for everyone to think about what it would be like to be the opposite gender, usually in some ideal sense. In many cases I think it's a combination of "the grass is greener on the other side of the pasture", and liking the other gender and then following through to the point of thinking it might be awesome to be the other gender.
As a general rule such fantasies usually involve an ideal, which is why I don't take people claiming to be transgendered very seriously in most cases. For example your typical guy who wants to be a girl wants to be "pretty" and feel "sexy" and say wants to wear all these hot outfits, and have people take care of them. Very few girls get to be what that guy wants to be to begin with. He wouldn't be content with just being *A* girl of normal or below average appearance, he's generally looking at the girls he admires who are generally way ahead of the curve and wishing he could be like them. Typically these guys don't tend to think about things like periods and feminine hygiene, and the typical life, or what it would be like to live like that normally. In many cases it seems this kind of thing ceases when they get a reality check and/or learn everything. Conversely the same thing applies to women who want to be dudes, who tend to look at the cool guys who are ideal male specimins, the money, and perceived dominance within society. They tend not to think of all the expectations and responsibility that goes along with it, and all the hard work, and gross things guys are expected to do casually just because they are dudes in order to exempt others from them. Your typical girl is probably looking at say "cool CEO guy" or whatever, not say being Leon the Plumber, and/or being an average "slobbo" guy who works hard every day and doesn't get much respect at all. Both genders have their advantages and disadvantages and typically at the end of the day I think most people realize they are comfortable where they are and look toward their own gender's ideals. Most transgenders who stick with it, tend to be those who most maintain their denial, not one of them I've ever met say has any envy for some fat girl having heavy periods. On the other hand give any person the opportunity to change places with or become an ideal and I think they would take it. Basically I don't think your typical person would turn down, or be unhappy with, an ideal body, money, power, etc... simply on the merits of a gender change. For example if someone told me I could have all the powers of a Kryptonian but it would involve becoming my universe's equivalent of Power Girl as opposed to Superman, I doubt I'd say "no". Ditto for your average girl given the same offer, but becoming Super Man. In both cases keeping the original gender would be ideal, but I think you'd find few people who would honestly say "no".
At any rate at 13 I'd expect the kid to be more aware than wanting "medicine to change them". My immediate guess would be that he/she has started to notice the opposite gender, probably without being noticed much by the people they like, and have started to think it might be nice to be that other person. I imagine they will sort it themselves with more experience, especially Freshmem "health and sexuality" classes, in the mean time I'd try not to embarrass them at that age. I mean at 13 the kid probably thinks wanting to be an Astronaut is a valid career path. Like all kids, they will likely get over it on their own. At the extreme end, making sure the kid gets exposed to a lot of un-ideal examples of the opposite gender might not be bad thing as well, you know making it clear that if you change gender you'll still be the same as before just on the other side can be a reality check, your pudgy son might not find it appealing to be some fat girl, he probably thinks about being say Angelina Jolie in her prime.
