Your Dad Might Not Be Your Dad. Response?
- Thread starter SaetonChapelle
- Start date
Truthfully, I think I'd be pissed. As I am now, yeah I see all kinds of anger.
For your situation or close enough to it, my respect would have left for my mother. Just gone.
Would I care about learning who my real father was? Yeah because that would be important as far as my emotions.
Either I'd respect the man that raised me or it too would go out the window.
For your situation or close enough to it, my respect would have left for my mother. Just gone.
Would I care about learning who my real father was? Yeah because that would be important as far as my emotions.
Either I'd respect the man that raised me or it too would go out the window.
As a guy who never had a dad at all from birth i'm going to ride up on my High Horse and say "at least you lucky sods can even ask that question"
*rides off with nose in the air*
In general, I have to say that family is whoever the fuck raised you and blood is most certainly not inherently thicker than water. Whoever wrote that saying never thought outside the usual loving mother/father box huh?
Funny thing is I don't even care about who my biological "father" was or is. Zero interest in it whatsoever. I wish there was another word for "father" that means it in a purely biological way, because that man means nothing to me. The word "father" is so disconnected from my own life it's weird. I've never had to say it nor really even use it in any conversation.
Sorry if I don't really answer the question. I can't do dad topics very well, not surprisingly.
*rides off with nose in the air*
In general, I have to say that family is whoever the fuck raised you and blood is most certainly not inherently thicker than water. Whoever wrote that saying never thought outside the usual loving mother/father box huh?
Funny thing is I don't even care about who my biological "father" was or is. Zero interest in it whatsoever. I wish there was another word for "father" that means it in a purely biological way, because that man means nothing to me. The word "father" is so disconnected from my own life it's weird. I've never had to say it nor really even use it in any conversation.
Sorry if I don't really answer the question. I can't do dad topics very well, not surprisingly.
My answer: So? My biological father's a drug-dealing and using bastard who has gone through more women than I have keyboards and has tons of children to boot. To be frank, I could not care less whether or not if he was my father. Being raised by wolves women wasn't too bad, unless it was the third week of every month.
Actually I was very much in that situation. When I was very little my very sadistic sister would tell me all the time that my father was not my father. I would ask my mother and she would deny it. I got a little older (9, 10 years old) and I got to see my birth certificate and the name on their under "Father" was Jeff, not Jessie.
I asked my mom about it, being a stupid little kid I asked "Dad's real name is Jeff?" thinking Jessie was just an odd nickname. My mother's response was "no, he was just some guy I was with." So that's how I found out that Jessie was actually my step-dad.
It took my mother three more years to tell me she had been married to Jeff. Her flippant comment had made me believe he was actually just a guy she had been with. Two more years passed and I start finding out that my biological father was an abusive, alcholic, drug-abuser who tried to kill me in the womb....thanks dad.
My step-father was a better man than my biological father, but he was also extremely selfish and mentally and verbally abusive, manipulating others into believe he was just a good guy while treating my mother and I like slaves, indebted to him because he provided the family financial stability. He never resorted to physical abuse...but I was not crying when he died in april of this year.
So yeah...fuck 'em both. Not happy in that situation.
I am curious about my biological father, I've never met him in person since my mother left him when she was about 4/5 months pregnant with me. I haven't even seen a picture. I don't really want to meet him exactly, just...want to know what the fuck he's been doing the past 25 years.
Internet searches have pretty much given me nothing and the only thing that I could find even hinting of him was an obituary for his mother back in 2010 which stated he survived her, so I guess he's still alive, but since I can't find any other record of him, I think he may be in jail, but that's just a guess.
I asked my mom about it, being a stupid little kid I asked "Dad's real name is Jeff?" thinking Jessie was just an odd nickname. My mother's response was "no, he was just some guy I was with." So that's how I found out that Jessie was actually my step-dad.
It took my mother three more years to tell me she had been married to Jeff. Her flippant comment had made me believe he was actually just a guy she had been with. Two more years passed and I start finding out that my biological father was an abusive, alcholic, drug-abuser who tried to kill me in the womb....thanks dad.
My step-father was a better man than my biological father, but he was also extremely selfish and mentally and verbally abusive, manipulating others into believe he was just a good guy while treating my mother and I like slaves, indebted to him because he provided the family financial stability. He never resorted to physical abuse...but I was not crying when he died in april of this year.
So yeah...fuck 'em both. Not happy in that situation.
I am curious about my biological father, I've never met him in person since my mother left him when she was about 4/5 months pregnant with me. I haven't even seen a picture. I don't really want to meet him exactly, just...want to know what the fuck he's been doing the past 25 years.
Internet searches have pretty much given me nothing and the only thing that I could find even hinting of him was an obituary for his mother back in 2010 which stated he survived her, so I guess he's still alive, but since I can't find any other record of him, I think he may be in jail, but that's just a guess.
It would be very strange because I have seen photos of him when he was my age and we're essentially identical.
But, ignoring that, I would love him all the more.
But, ignoring that, I would love him all the more.
If I was to find out today that my mother or father were not my biological parents, it would have zero impact on how I feel about them. Parenting is more about nurture than nature. I would like to find out who my biological parents were, but the ones I will cal mum and dad will always be the ones that raised me.
Ehh, you can't let family define you. 90% of my non-immediate family lives in Tennessee, drunken hooligans, the lot of em. But just because they're all fucked up doesn't mean I have to be. Just don't sweat it, nobody is doomed to the sins of their fathers.EeveeElectro said:
Just out of curiosity, you call your father 'father'? Why not something catchier, like 'pops' or something?SaetonChapelle said:
OT: I would still consider the man who raised me to be my father, even though we have almost nothing in common. If I did have a different father though, I probably wouldn't want to know about it. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
I'm adopted, so my dad isn't my sperm donor, but he raised me until the day he died, and will always be my dad.
Let me put it this way. I consider the term mother/father to apply to those people who took the time, energy, and care into raising a child, while the biological "parents" I simply call progenitors, as that is all they are if they have not made the commitment of child-rearing.SaetonChapelle said:
So whether or not my father is my biological progenitor or not, he is my father because he dedicated over twenty years of his life to helping me grow as a person, guiding me when he could, supporting me when I fell, and loving me in spite of the mistakes I have made along the way.
That is, and always will be, my measure of a parent. Because bonds like those are stronger than any forged by blood.
Pretty sure it's not possible. I've seen more than a few genetic similarities with my dad, not just physically (my brother resembles him a lot more than me, but it's still there), but personality wise as well. I have much less in common with me mom, but considering I've seen my birth certificate and pictures of my mom when she was pregnant with me, I feel safe in calling her my real mom.
Always called father "father". Just always seemed more respectable. Although sometimes I call him daddy.
He loves you and raised you, of course he's your dad! The blood thing only comes in handy when kings and queens die.SaetonChapelle said:
Probably not Possible in my case me and my dad look to similar.
I mean I let my hair grow out and he keeps it short but other than that we look almost the same.
I mean I let my hair grow out and he keeps it short but other than that we look almost the same.
If by "Dad" you mean "Biological father"? Then I say meh. He is, but if he wasn't my biological father, it wouldn't matter, because he's my Dad. And I'd certainly have no interest in tracking down my real father. I'd probably be happy going on with life as if I'd never heard the news.