Your Dad Might Not Be Your Dad. Response?

Korolev

No Time Like the Present
Jul 4, 2008
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I know who my biological parents are, but even if I wasn't, it wouldn't matter. The person who raised me and taught me and provided for me is my father. Even if he wasn't my biological father, I wouldn't care one damn bit. I would probably be interested to find out who my real biological father is (if I was in such a situation), but it wouldn't diminish my relationship with my father. Ties are more than genes.
 

lunavixen

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Jan 2, 2012
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Well, I know for a fact my dad is my dad as I have my original birth certificate, and I have too many features of both sides of my family (and so do my brothers) for us not to be genetically related. But to answer your question, I don't think it'd change me that much
 

Vegosiux

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May 18, 2011
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hazabaza1 said:
My dad is my dad. Family's about a lot more than blood, and while I would be curious, nobody's replacing him.
That's a good answer, I'm going to give you points for that.

But yeah, pretty much this. My father is my father, whether I'm his biological offspring or not.
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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I look almost exactly like my father did at my age, we're constantly mistaken for one another by voice, have similar personality traits, and in terms of career we both specialize in the same technical field. I'd say that it is not exactly a likely scenario.

Regardless, I would like to know, but my interest in the matter would mostly be limited to finding out about my heritage. Whatever his reasons, this person chose not to be involved with his children.
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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Colour-Scientist said:
Oh, I have nothing against him at all, I just don't have any interest in meeting him. He was with my Mom for a while before I was born so I think she knows of anything that could be a serious issue. Hopefully, anyway!
I'd suggest finding an appropriate time to check regardless. Genetic history is not exactly a normal conversation piece, and even if he told her that his grandfather died of, for instance, Huntington's disease, she may not have known it is inheritable.
 

Aesir23

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Jul 2, 2009
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I would certainly be curious but at the same time I would be more than content to consider the man who raised my as my father as long as he wasn't some jackass.

Luckily, in my case the man who raised me is indeed my biological father.
 

FoolKiller

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Feb 8, 2008
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SaetonChapelle said:
I asked my father why he was unaware, and if he had ever asked. His statement was:

"A lot of people never have one father to love them as they grow. I was lucky enough to have two. I'm happy with the assumption that either one could be my father."

So just curious fellow Escapists, if you were aware, or are even in a close situation, would you be curious about who your father actually was? Or are you/would you be happy in the situation you were given?
Two things:

1. Based on the quote your father was a wise man.

2. Unfortunately, much to my detriment, I am too curious for my own good. I've destroyed friendships because I am eager to prove that my hunch is correct.
 

Johnny Impact

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Aug 6, 2008
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Slaanesh said:
Both. I would like to know who my biological father actually was(to satiate my curiosity), but I would still consider the man who raised me to be my father, blood or not. Family is what you make it. I have blood relatives I don't consider family and friends I do consider family.
Nailed it.

I have as little association as possible with 30% of my blood relatives. We have nothing in common. Never did, never will. Friends, like my brother-in-law, or my brother's best friend, are way more significant to me.

I'd rather know my genealogy for certain than spend a lifetime wondering, but I would just file the information away in a dusty corner of my brain. It would be for reference purposes only. I don't think it would have much effect on anything.
 

Tsaba

reconnoiter
Oct 6, 2009
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Well, as someone who's dad isn't their biological father and I didn't learn of this until I was 18, but, both of my parents who are divorced knew when I was 13-14 years old and decided not to tell me. I can honestly say that I know who raised me, who called me his son, and even though I share the same name but not the same blood he never treated me different, things stayed the same.

What made it awkward was however, my younger sister knew when I did not and for the record I don't know who my biological father was even though I was "offered" to find out.... I guess I really don't care because he was never there.
 

DSK-

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May 13, 2010
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My opinion would be that the dad I have right now, that provided for and raised me, is my father. Fuck the other guy. I think very, very highly of my parents so for this reason my aforementioned statement is so strong.

It's funny really; there's 12 years age difference between my brother (13) and I (26) and I take after my mother whilst my brother takes after my father. The resemblances are uncanny.
 

Kaisharga

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Dec 5, 2007
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It'd be useful to know which is the genetic precursor for medical reasons, but really, "father" is a role that cannot be played in just a five second span nine months prior to birth, and a father (or a mother, for that matter) is the one that passes on the truly important parts of a person.
 

Aramis Night

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Mar 31, 2013
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If i had a relatively normal life, that knowledge would cause me to despise my mother for being a liar and a worthless whore. As it stands my mother proved herself to be both of those things, despite me being my fathers son. Of course the fact that i'm my fathers son was blind luck considering how much of a slut my mother was. She kept me ignorant of who my father was, and even my own name, for the first 5 years of my life.

My dad walked in on my mother screwing some other guy in their bed a month after i was born. They divorced and by some miracle my dad gained legal custody of me. Only reason it turned out that he got custody was because rather than show up to court, she simply kidnapped me. Thanks to her i spent the first 5 years of my life homeless and on the streets following around my street walking prostitute mother. Didn't know my father or even what a father even was. Didn't know my own name(she didn't want to risk me acknowledging who i was to the authorities if asked). Knew nothing of how to read or write. Spent those years in the company of members of the hell's angels(who actually treated me well) who would trade my mother a place to stay for a while for sex, which became a frequent arrangement.

My father on the other hand spent a lot of time and money trying to track me down over the course of that 5 years. My mother eventually got herself arrested and i was found 3 days later by the cops. I had no idea who my father was and i was of the impression i was being kidnapped. After 3 days of being locked up in a trailer my father finally decided to explain everything to me. For a while i wasn't sure if i believed it or not. One day when i was 8 my mother showed up out of the blue unannounced. She had gotten out of jail and was trying to convince me to go with her. I demanded to know the truth and why i wasn't told anything about myself. She acknowledged that my father was my father and then he showed up and i was told to get inside.

They had an argument that ended with my dad running in the house to get his gun and shooting at my mother in a fleeing car. Sadly my father missed. The weight of the betrayal of what my mother did to him was more than my father could handle and he had started doing drugs to numb his pain. Before I was born, he had sacrificed a lot to be with my mother and had been supporting her and seeing to her every need. She was the reason he started doing drugs which he fell gradually harder and harder into. He finally died of cardiac arrest brought on by an overdose of methamphetamine last year.
 

revjor

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Sep 30, 2011
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I grew up being taught my biological father was my uncle. I got a Mom and that's all I've needed.
 

barbzilla

He who speaks words from mouth!
Dec 6, 2010
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SaetonChapelle said:
So father and I were looking through old photographs the other day when I spotted one of a man named Mike when he was younger, a man of whom my father had much relations with and who ended up helping to raise my father, eventually passing away in our house. Upon stating offhand that my father more resembled Mike then my biological grandfather, my father stated that to be honest, he was unsure which man was really his dad.

Apparently, my grandparents had a straining relationship, and although their first two children were theirs, it was never confirmed whether or not grandfather was actually the biological parent. Knowledgeable on my grandmothers ways, but still in love with her, grandpa remained silent. From what I have heard, they regained their affection for one another after the death of one son and close to their passing.

I asked my father why he was unaware, and if he had ever asked. His statement was:

"A lot of people never have one father to love them as they grow. I was lucky enough to have two. I'm happy with the assumption that either one could be my father."

So just curious fellow Escapists, if you were aware, or are even in a close situation, would you be curious about who your father actually was? Or are you/would you be happy in the situation you were given?

Edit: I would like for everyone to know these posts where people are stating that family doesn't mean blood relation makes my heart all warm and fuzzy~
Well just like many people have already said, it doesn't take much to be a biological father. It takes a great deal of wisdom and effort to be a great dad though. My biological father was so/so, but I only was around him 2 days every 2 weeks so I didn't truly know him until I was older. As a child he treated me well and I know he loved me, but he isn't as sentimental as some people and it is easy for him to grow distant. As an experiment my sister and I decided we would let him call us (we were always the ones who initiated contact), and 10 years later I have lost track of where he is or how to contact him. Luckily for me I had a wonderful mother who raised me to be the man I am today (though there is still lots of room for improvement), and a chosen family that has treated me like their own.

My chosen family happened as a chance occurrence. I had just moved up to the area and had no friends. I was also just starting college. My first semester I met this dude who was just as odd as I am and had some similar interests. We became fast friends and have stayed that way ever since. Unfortunately he has a terminal illness, and aspergers (so he isn't very social), so he never had many friends. He only ever had one girlfriend (and subsequently a son) and that ended very poorly (she was a bit of a capital B word). As such his family considered me as their own and I treated them likewise.

I can honestly say that family is only what you make of it. If you don't consider it important, than it won't be important for you. If you value those emotional ties, than they will be. To me I value my ties, they are a comfort blanket for me when times are bad, and a celebration when times are good.
 

Not Lord Atkin

I'm dead inside.
Oct 25, 2008
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Yeah, I'm fairly certain that my dad is my biological dad but even if he wasn't, I wouldn't care. The guy has done nothing in my entire life other than making sure me and my mom are happy. He's working his ass of just to provide for the two of us, bending over backwards and cashing out ridiculous amounts of money just so that I can have my whim to study at a uni abroad.

As far as I'm concerned, my dad is my dad and no one elso could ever replace him, biological or not.
 

Luminous_Umbra

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Sep 25, 2011
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Hagi said:
I don't think a father is the person who had sex with your mom 9 months before you were born.

I think a father is the man who raised you.

As such no doubt about who's my father, I know who raised me.


You took the words right out of my mouth. Even though I know my father is my biological one, I would still see him as my true father if he wasn't.