Your (Fat) Princess is In Another Castle

[Atheist.]

I'd like to point out that in many states and countries the legal age of consent is below 18, and hence it would be legal in the first persons situation. The legal age of consent in my state is 16. In his situation it would be entirely legal for him to have a relationship with her. So I don't exactly agree with the advice give, although I would be a bit concerned about the lying.

 

[Shadow-Phoenix]

i'd be concerned about the lying but it's totally fine for a 20yo to go on dates with a 17yo

just because you can't get physical with her is no reason to avoid interacting together in person.

This. To Suckered By Sweet Sixteen, I had a situation almost exactly like yours, except she was two years younger instead of three. A lot of it boils down to the age of consent in your state/her state if she lives in a different state, and if you've had talks about sex with her and having sex with her and whatnot, because even talking about having sex with her is something that the courts can get you for.

I am also 20, with my gf turning 18 this year. We met online, much the same as you and your girl. I have to say that I disagree with the people that say that you're a pedophile, and that the courts can get you and lock you up and whatnot.

Like I said though, look up the age of consent in your state and hers if she lives elsewhere. It's fine to visit and be friends, but never be alone with her if she's considered under the age of consent in whatever state you are in when you're visiting.

Some examples, Florida's AOC, 18 with 2 year age gap, Texas AOC, 17 with 3 year age gap, New Hampshire, 16, but I don't know the age gap. Some states have the AOC as low as 15, but most keep it around 17-18, and some states don't have the age gap. If you really like this girl, as it sounds like you do, just be smart and don't do anything that would get either of you in trouble.

I'm 23 and my girl's about 20 and i also met her online but i see where your coming from and i hate it too when people get like that and hell some of my friends have the gall to say you can't find relationships online, well it seems many of us have proven them wrong.

 

[jyork89]

In regards to #1 the age difference isn't bad at all. In almost every country the age of consent is 16. The USA is one of the primary exceptions (depending on the state). I myself am 22 dating a 18 (almost 19 year old). I have known her for years but we have only been really dating for just over a year. In saying that she has been asked out by people much older than me.

The only real caution I would advise is the same that should be advised of any online meeting no matter the age, don't fully commit to them until you have met them in person. And don't consider it a relationship. You only need to meet them briefly to be certain, but it is the most key and important part of any relationship that begins online. Also you might want to confirm her ID somehow. Get her to scan a copy of her passport or ID card or something.

 

[manic_depressive13]

There's something strangely disturbing out the first one. From the sound of it, you had planned to meet in person, but you found out she was underage, so you cancelled. The second time you wanted to meet, but the same thing happened. Did "meet" become a euphamism for "have sex with" when I wasn't looking? Why can't you just get together so that you get to know eachother better first? Why are you unwilling to meet her just because she is under the age of consent? I can only come to the conclusion that the only reason for getting together is sex, in which case this relationship sounds unhealthy already. But then what would I know, I am eating an avocado using only my face.

 

[Turing '88]

Love FAQ: Your (Fat) Princess is In Another Castle

Can you ever really trust a girl who lies about her age?

Read Full Article

Wow, that's some of the worst advice I've ever read (to the first guy). I never hate things on the escapist because even if I don't like them I know others do, I think I'll make an exception for this though. I just hope 'Suckered by Sweet Sixteen ' reads the comments and realises how fucking terrible that advice was.

 

[ExtraDebit]

What I was thinking was: Have you ever met a girl that doesn't lie about her age? Really wish they would answer with some practical advise or at least some entertaining ones. At the moment they provide neither.

 

[gmacarthur81]

3 years is not a big deal, no matter when the "advice" says.

If you have met her in person, I take it you met her parents as well? What was their opinion of you? Did they think you were too old for their daughter? That is a much more important opinion than that of anyone here. Because the parents are the ones responsible for her, and would be the ones calling the cops on you if they don't like you.

 

[Xaio30]

This is why you can't let the law rule your love-life. In Sweden, the legal age for sex is 15, and then you could have sex with an30 year old for all that the law cares.

A 3 year old difference that stops your relation is just bullshit.

 

[Zing]

Terrible advice for the first question. Maybe it's because 16 is legal in my country, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with a 20 year old dating a 17 year old. That is by no means too young.

And the amount of assuming that you do is absurd. How do you know the girl doesn't have more important things to worry about then her homework?

Bleh. Bad advice, "we" don't know it. And you certainly don't.

 

[Hristo Tzonkov]

Is Jim writing this column?Because I felt like you were trolling the first guy.Or are things really that bad wherever guy 1 is.There's probably millions of guys worldwide who date girls in their teens while attending highschool.It's how nerdy guys get booty pretty much.Secondly I'd like to say that she lied a bit but she was probably scared.When you started chatting it up she was kinda young.Now if you actually care about her you'll wait it out if it's that big a deal to date a minor when you're just getting out of puberty...

 

[trooper6]

A person who will lie about aspects of who they are because they are concerned if you knew the real person you wouldn't date them? Really big red flag.

You do not want to date a person whose instinct is to lie about who they are or tell you what they think you want to hear. That isn't a real relationship. Also, it indicates the person involved has some emotional maturing to do...which isn't surprising considering she was 16 last month.

Age differences are really more about power imbalances and life situation. Age is often a good indicator of these imbalances, but not always.

When I was 25 I went to college for the first time. I ended up dating people who were also in college. We both had similar economic situations, similar life schedul...so as a 25 year old, dating a 20 year old peer was no big deal. On the other hand I was hit on by a 28 year old who was not in college, was a lawyer, had huge amounts of money, owned her own home, and was settled in the Bay Area. We were in totally different life situations, and there was a big power imbalance between us despite only being three years apart.

A just turned 17 year old high school student who lives with their parents and has neither economic nor legal autonomy really shouldn't be dating a 20 year old with that money and autonomy. There is a power imbalance there.

On the other hand, I new a 16 year old emancipated minor who lived on his own and worked full time. He dated older people people dating a 16 year old girl in high school resulted in problems because of live differences and power imbalances between them.

The older people get, barring strange things like being in school late in life or being a teen mom or something, the more likely people are to be in similar life positions...meaning less of a power imbalance.

However, the most important thing, is don't date people who aren't honest to you about who they are.

 

[funguy2121]

She lied about her age twice. And since it is AGE that she lied about (unfortunately it appears the letter writer doesn't live in Tejas, where a 17-year old can legally bed someone 3 years and someodd months her senior), he has no idea when he may have a very unenviable run-in with Daddy. Or the local police.

There are a shit-ton of guys out there who love the bigger girls. Personally, I prefer women who are thick (not a euphemism) or maybe a bit on the cute-chubby side, but some women are just undeniably large and also carry it so well that I'd be happy to be with them. I wouldn't think of it in terms of what "society" deems acceptable - that makes it seem natural to be attracted to eating disorders, which it most certainly is not. Instead, remember that it's the standards of insecure guys who say what they think others expect them to say (which means that they have checked out of the man club).

 

[Talvrae]

they are only 3 years different of age... i dont know where he is from but in Canada for underage relationship we are allowed 5 years of differenc ei dont see a problem there

 

[Mid-Boss]

To guy number 1:

Hey my wife is 21 and I'm 29. We've been together goin on 3 years and we are blissfully happy together. So don't let 3 years age difference stand in your way. You have much bigger issues to overcome. First of all that you're in an internet only relationship which is just going to end in sadness. Sure keep it going if you want but don't stop looking for a real life relationship because, dollars to doughnuts, she's still looking herself.

 

[C.S.Strowbridge]

Love FAQ: Your (Fat) Princess is In Another Castle

Can you ever really trust a girl who lies about her age?

Read Full Article

He's 20, she's 17. Guess what. My parents were those ages WHEN THEY GOT MARRIED. A year from now you'll likely both be in college and no one would even notice the age difference.

Obviously double-check any laws in your area, because it would be stupid to be put on a sex-offender registry.

 

[Joshroom]

I'm know I'm not the only one who's said this but; is there really an issue with a 3 year age gap?

Over in the UK the legal age is 16 and I know plenty of girls and guys who were dating people a few years older than them while I was in 6th form. As other people have previously pointed out the main issue is that the girl in question lied originally ABOUT her age. Thats the crux of the matter - and the issue that could break the fragile relationship before it even begins.

 

[Steve Butts]

For guy 1 I present the age-comparison creepiness equation: [(your age x .5) rounded down] + 7 is the minimum age of someone you can date without it being creepy

Ha! Clever. It doesn't allow any dating under age 13.