Your Favourite Zero Punctuation Quotes!

[faust1759]

I'd have to say either "Yahtzee you herculean exemplar" or "As the exasperated Chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda on Earth: FUCK THAT!" XD

 

[faust1759]

"First off, I'm a man's man, a courageous man who isn't afraid to be out in the field looking his enemy straight in the eye (through the lens of a high-powered sniper rifle from the next town over)"

 

[faust1759]

the business of selecting units is also a right ass, and while this may sound like a small complaint, small problems often lead to bigger ones, like a small shard of glass lodged in your urinary tract. Games that evolved in PC waters have a hard time adapting to non-mouse-controller environments, and RTS is no exception. Lacking click-and-drag all you can do is select one prick, select one prick and all his prick friends in a fixed diameter, select all pricks on the current screen, or call for a great, big, all-map prick hoedown. So if you wanted to, say, select all your flying pricks for a strategic insertion you'll run into a bit of prick trouble beyond the might of any soothing cream.

 

[Kohner]

I decided to take some timeaway from reviews and try to argue with some of the more intelectual arguments but untill then: GO TEAM RETARD!

followed by:

I'm not a fanboy-yes you are-but i think you judged SSBB a bit Harashly.

Makes me lol every time.

 

[Nihilism_Is_Bliss]

"...which group you fall into depends on whether you're the kind of
misty eyed 'games are art' hippie who can allow things like excellent
storytelling and charming artistic direction 'excuse a few gameplay
issues'.

Or if you're the kind of twitching ritalin popping xbox owner who falls
into a narcoleptic coma whenever they go without killing something for
45 seconds"

 

[Above]

Theres so many...

[HEADING=1] SO FREAKING MANY! [/HEADING]

Nevertheless
Go team retard!!!

 

[Multi-Hobbyist]

"I like the idea of a 'professional troll', though. Makes me think of a hideous creature living under a bridge, handing out business cards."

And of course...

"Speaking as a person who is white enough to afford all the consoles, this is probably the most balanced generation of all time with it all coming down to what you personally want in a console. The Wii is an excitable little yappy bastard, good with children, but a little exhausting. The PS3 is a big dependable black monster, slow but lovably bringing in your slippers every morning. And the 360 is just a good all-arounder that only occasionally pisses itself and dies."

Which review was that 2nd paragraph in?

 

[sooperman]

Mine has to be "the swinging mechanics feel about as smooth and natural as clock-work bumfuck." (Bionic Commando)

"Speaking as a person who is white enough to afford all the consoles, this is probably the most balanced generation of all time with it all coming down to what you personally want in a console. The Wii is an excitable little yappy bastard, good with children, but a little exhausting. The PS3 is a big dependable black monster, slow but lovably bringing in your slippers every morning. And the 360 is just a good all-arounder that only occasionally pisses itself and dies."

Which review was that 2nd paragraph in?

Console Roundup, 2008 if I'm not mistaken.

 

[shogunblade]

"You'll just end up randomly flailing the controller around like Jackson Pollack with a scorpion on the end of his paintbrush, and it's nice to see Nintendo keep things accessible to people with Neurological diseases." - Wii Sports Resort.

"You're Welcome." 2nd Annual E3 Hype Massacre.

The Various Potato Chips for "Chronicles of Riddick":
Assault and Vinegar... Uh, Dark Athena.
Assault on Vinegar and Escape From Smoky Bacon
My Personal Fav: Assault on Cool Ranch Doritos.

The Unskippable Review of "X-Blades" on "Halo Wars"

That's All I can find so far.

 

[eddietheemo666]

Dont beleive the lie of guitar hero 3; it's actually the fourth guitar hero in the series, the third being rock the 80's which i havent played yet, but the day i fork out seventy bucks for and expansion pack is the day i swallow razor wire, pull the end out of my arse and floss myself to death!

 

[f0re1gn]

"Being a harsh critic doesn't make me evil... It's my cannibalism that does that."

"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you might stand there all day explaining that but no one's going to freakin' eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"

etcetcetc

Tons of them are priceless and worth writing down and remembering for the rest of your life.

 

[sammi43055]

Nuper Nario Nros. Nii

There are too many other good quotes and any more that I can think of have already been covered BUT I love when he says one thing but the screen says something else.

 

[shadow_dragonclaw]

"War would be too easy, Famine would take too long, and what's Pestilence gonna do, Cough on people?"

 

[shadow_dragonclaw]

"War would be too easy, Famine would take too long, and what's Pestilence gonna do, Cough on people?"

"DEATH" would be too easy...sorry, got mixed up

 

[shadow_dragonclaw]

OOO I've thought of more

"At the end of the game, you get the only weapon that was never used in a Zelda game; a gun that shoots blue and orange portals. Outstanding"

and

"The Chump Chop; Square...The Double Chump Chop; Square, Square... and the Whipped Cream Genocide Brouhaha; Square, Square, Square

 

[welza]

"its like my hand on a sunday night. it beats the fuck out of me."

 

[Enigma6667]

"But the plot is really special, and by special I mean 'I'm sorry my son was trying to eat your shoes, he's a little bit special!'"

~Modern Warfare 2 review, I believe.

 

[TheycallmeKar]

"Then there's the fight with the roided up Juggernaught fellow, repeated something like 12 times. Which you win by, and I hope you're wearing a sturdy hat because this may just blow your mind, side-stepping their charge so they run into a wall!"

This quote coupled with the visual of Batman standing there with his arms out and the big guy's head in the wall with his legs flailing always makes be laugh.

Taken from Yahtzee's Batman; Arkham Asylum review.

 

[nemyrth]

"OH, PISSING BLIMEY, THERE'S JAM COMING OUT OF THE WALLS!!"

"...a slight upgrade from ludicrously fast to 'there is a misquito shaped hole in my teeth.'"

 

[Jeysejak]

"Mike Thornton is the poncyest ponce that ever ponced past the poncing parlor."

"And the whipped cream genocide bruhaha. Square square square."

"If i just hoisted a seven foot demon into the air and chopped him in half with a single swing I wouldn't stand there scowling I'd go fucking hell! Did anyone see that?!? I am squirting the kismo out of my nipples over here! I am a monster truck that walks like a man!!"

"by the hero link on the few occasions i feel mature enough not to abuse the enter your name feature and fagballs at all other times."