Your Favourite Zero Punctuation Quotes!

[Galaxialconda]

Too Human Review
"An experience that can be created by walking down a wide road in the middle of no-where stopping every 5 steps to crack yourself in the eye with a hammer...and the road is a million miles long... and the hammer is made of wank"

Hilarious, I couldn't breath for ages from laughing the first time watching it.

 

[RheynbowDash]

From the Tomb Raider Review:
*ahem*

"Stonking Great Tits"

foreigners have never made me laugh so hard..

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

"Go Team Retard" isn't a particularly funny phrase in and of itself but the delivery is fantastic. I was also partial to the "I meant to say you get to wear a scary mask like it's Halloween every day, only you're giving out the candy and they candy is bullets!"

 

[roflchopter]

HAHA I LOVE
"I criticize because I'm a critic and I don't believe in scores because I don't believe a complex opinion can be represented numerically, YOU LIKE NUMBERS? How bout 4...as in FUCK you!"

 

[Kukakkau]

"go team retard" - use that a lot to describe cod4 teams when i dont party up
"nazi bullet bum rape"
"now im not a fanboy - yes you are"

 

[Joey245]

"The Prince of Persia series is like a man who owned a goose that, when the conditions were perfect, laid a golden egg. He then spent the next few years experimenting with the goose's bedding and vitamin intake hoping to recreate the event and now after a couple of bronze and silver eggs dropped out he went the scientific route, chopping it into fritzes looking for the secret. And when that didn't work, he hastily stitched it back together, dressed it in glittery fabrics and attatched some Googly eyes. And that right there is the new prince of Persia, an appealingly gaudy apearance that fails to disguise the fact that the old bird is DEAD inside."

 

[sheomad]

"WANKER" !

 

[yahtzeelover]

but seriously I wouldn't consider actually BUYING fable unless they brought it down to cost... and threw in another, better game... and some chips... and Belgium.

 

[Arrers]

His description of what Liam Neeson's charcter would be like in his own game:
"Captain Dynamite, with the face of Fank Zappa and nuclear missiles instead of legs".

 

[orreso]

"perhaps if you spread Branston Pickle on No More Heroes the universe would end, and it would be f*cking AWESOME." (on No More Heroes)
also
"I'm afraid that if I join one I'll catch some disease that causes flowcharts" {(or something like that) on EVE online}

 

[xXTEHDRKMAGEXx]

"Go Team Retard!"-"The Fuck-You Button"-and"Serial Killer Standing Right Behind You, But Don't Turn Around Because It Will Really Piss Him Off!!!!!!"

 

[eagle270878]

"Mass errect", "Go team retard" and "The 360 is a good all-rounder that only occasionally pisses itself and dies". woo, go yahtzee!

 

[Kajt]

"And whistled for a baboon!"
So random that it should get awarded ten times in a row.

 

[Datalord]

My options for new games are either another chance to furiosly mash my controller to death, orgears of war versus the British Space Nazis

 

[Datalord]

This won't be verbatim, but:
"If you give them guns, they will shoot old ladies. If you give them cars, they will run over old ladies. If you give them planes, they will jump out of them and land on top of an old lady" etc.

Someone can quote it more accurately, but <3

If someone hasn't done this yet,
"If you give them guns, they will shoot old ladies. If you give them cars, they will run over old ladies. If you give them planes, they will fly to the highest possible point and jump out onto an old lady"

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

For some reason I find the pilot saying "Blighted!" in Halo review most hilarious. Well this wasn´t exactly a quote, but there are too many of those.

 

[Datalord]

Also, if you watch the credits it has another little joke yahtzee puts in at the very end, like
A guard saw me so i leapt back into the shadows but he yelled "DON'T THINK YOU CAN LEAP BACK INTO THE SHADOWS BOY" which impressed both me and my dry cleaner (theif review)

 

[Datalord]

OH WAIT, a new one

The mission mainly consist of beating people, beating bigger people up, waiting for people to stop long enough to let you beat them up, protecting people by beating up the people who want to beat THEM up, and some quick time events (press X to beat people up)

Edit:
And about as long as a documentaary on french war heroes
LOL, historical humor

 

[forever saturday]

the end of the bioshock review was something like this:

"If you are a console fps gamer and are into insipid boomfests like halo then bioshock is gonna seems like the shit but if you are a longtime pc gamer and are into more complicated titles then youre in for a kick in the balls maybe a gentler kick in the balls the most and an incredibly pretty and well executed kick in the balls at that but at the end of the day youre still walking funny" bioshock.

also:

"The only way it could be more awesome is if it had tits and was on fire" painkiller.

and:

"Youre free to go wherever you like climbing running jumping misjudging distances and faceplanting six stories down". assassins creed.

All I can think of right now.

no, I am not feeling very clever right now, for those of you who see the joke, thank you very much.

 

[Scorpioenigma]

'Oh, wook! He's a doggie! Mash up his wittle face and call him Chips?
I have a friend who constantly raves about how good fable 2 is even though I don't play it and never will. So to make him stop I just quote Yahtzee. ^^