My last stand already happened.
A few years ago, and I'll spare you the long story leading up to this, I returned to public school after several years of homeschooling (the reason being I got in too much trouble for the schools to keep me). When I got back, I made the mistake of saying I could kick the ass of some guy named Christian. Turns out, Christian didn't like that. Funny thing is, before I began homeschooling Christian was one of my old buddies, back in Kindergarten and 1st Grade, who I thought was cool and I tried to hang out with.
So I got cornered at a football game, in a dark alley between a chainlink fence and the refreshments/bathroom/souveniers building. Christian and six guys. Fuck.
Christian, who I will admit was a head shorter than me (but damn those scary short kids), slammed me into the brick wall a bunch of times yelling at me to fight. Not wanting to get my ass kicked, I just let him slam me into the walls and hoped somebody would stop him. Unfortunatley, the crowd gathering at the end of the alley where the light was coming from were only yelling at Christian to kick my ass.
So I shoved back.
Then he punched me in the face.
...But no, I didn't get my ass kicked right away. He knocked me to the side, but rather than fall I braced myself and met his rush, got under his arm, and ended up choke-slamming him into the fence (which cut my pinky finger up to my wrist) before he pulled my coat over my head. Unable to see, I recalled some advice my female counselor had given me a fear years before, and planted my feet, drove out with my right hand, and put my whole back into it. Ok, I swung wildly with my left hand first, but then I remembered. And luckily, I hit him right in the jaw.
Pulling off my coat, I threw it on the ground and stepped forward as Christian was getting up off the gravel. He took his coat off too and came at me, and we fought a while. I am proud to this day to say that I came out on top and I'm getting an adrenaline rush just remembering the punches I drove into his ***** face. Unfortunately, his friends decided to step in before I could get him on the ground and maul him a little bit, and while I had the upper hand he was still taking my punches better than one might hope.
What happened next was the most brutal ass-beating of my life. Two teeth knocked out, both eyes black, a busted nose (luckily not broken) and some bruised ribs. I jammed my thumb on one of the guys, kicked another in the knee cap, and knocked several of the (bigger) guys down. And while I was running on all pistons, they beat the fuck out of me. And when they'd finished beating the fuck out of me, when I had curled up to defend myself, they picked me up and slammed me into the fence. I started fighting again, and one of them elbowed me in the teeth (this is where I lost one).
I honestly don't remember much after that, except that Christian stepped in and punched me right in the eye while I was in the fence. I realized "Hey, where'd the other guys go? Oh, they left Christian to finish it!" And I was mad again. I pushed off the fence with my foot and tackled the short guy into the fucking brick wall, slammed his head right into it (and unfortunately, my head, but it was dark and I didn't immediately notice).
Then two of them stepped in and punched me a few times while Christian nailed me in the mouth again.
There used to be a video of part of this fight on Youtube. It was called "Smartass ass-whooping". It was obviously deleted a couple years ago, but it had me slamming the back of Christian's head into the wall (and if I hadn't watched it, I never would have known I busted my face on that wall).
Texas sucks. But on the flipside, while I never got another shot at Christian, nobody EVER fucked with me again after that. Though everyone always said "you got your ass kicked", which is sort of wrong because Christian looked almost as bad as I did and he didn't have six guys on him.
