Your "One does not simply..." moments in videogames.

Anachronism

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Apr 9, 2009
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thesilentman said:
Anachronism said:
thesilentman said:
One does not simply beat Brood Mother.
Well, that one's Dragon Age: Origins. That was a hell of a long boss fight. The best way for me was to just gradually whittle down its health with arrows and magic from too far away for it to get me with its tentacles; if I tried to fight it in melee it killed my guys in seconds.

In a similar vein: one does not simply get through Orzammar in a reasonable amount of time.
No, actually. I've never played Dragon Age Origins. Is it any good?
I loved it, but then Baldur's Gate II is pretty much my favourite game ever and Dragon Age was meant to be a spiritual successor to it. If you like long, challenging party-based RPGs I can't recommend it highly enough.
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
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One does not simply set out to find a shiny Pokemon.

One does not simply beat the strider battle in HL2 E2 on their first try.

One does not simply defeat Gandhi with military strength.

One does not simply play Amnesia: The Dark Descent without stopping to clean the poop out of your pants.

One does not simply dig straight up or down in Minecraft.

One does not simply run away from an Enderman.

One does not simply complete the final platforming sections of Psychonauts with your sanity intact.

One does not simply defeat the Pandemonium Warden (cookie for the reference).
 

White_Lama

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Feb 23, 2011
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Evil Top Hat said:
One does not simply walk north to New Vegas.

FUCKING CAZADORES
One sure as hell doesn't just follow the road north to New Vegas either, damn Deathclaws.
 

Mangod

Senior Member
Feb 20, 2011
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One does not simply kill Pandemonium Warden in 18 hours.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/85639-18-Hour-Final-Fantasy-XI-Boss-Induces-Puking
 

The White Hunter

Basment Abomination
Oct 19, 2011
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thesilentman said:
One does not simply NOT get hit in a wooden tank.
One does not simply fight a woman who can light your ass on fire and juggle you around like a ragdoll while you attempt to attack with an electric katana.

I'm feeling nice, so cookies to people who can guess the games that I'm playing. :p
Assassins Creed Brotherhood, and the second I quoted may be one of the No More Heroes games.

OT: One does not simply leave star coins unacquired! (Currently playing Mario Bros U and yup, Shiny OCD acting up again, I must have them all you see.
 

thesilentman

What this
Jun 14, 2012
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SkarKrow said:
thesilentman said:
One does not simply NOT get hit in a wooden tank.
One does not simply fight a woman who can light your ass on fire and juggle you around like a ragdoll while you attempt to attack with an electric katana.

I'm feeling nice, so cookies to people who can guess the games that I'm playing. :p
Assassins Creed Brotherhood, and the second I quoted may be one of the No More Heroes games.

OT: One does not simply leave star coins unacquired! (Currently playing Mario Bros U and yup, Shiny OCD acting up again, I must have them all you see.
First one's right, not the second. DAMN that mission and it's full synch requirement. I regularly destroy Dark Souls, but Hell on Wheels is way too much frustration in one sitting.
 

Sprinal

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Jan 27, 2010
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One Does not Simply survive Hidden Fun stuff

One does not simply walk from Solitude to Riften

One does not simply finish a CD Projekt Red on the hardest difficulty

One does not simply capture the Crown

anymore? I can't think of any.
 

Palademon

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Mar 20, 2010
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One Does Not Simply...kill 3 Ringwraiths as Aragorn in LOTR Conquest.

I seriously die around killing one of them.
This achievement forever eludes me.

One Does Not Simply...Armoured Core V.
Just at all.
I want to. I just really can't
 

Voxgizer

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Jan 12, 2011
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One does not simply call out the March Hare in Dungeonland when he's been scaled up to level 20. Not without catching a serious ass whoopin' in the process.
 

BENZOOKA

This is the most wittiest title
Oct 26, 2009
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One does not simply decide and stick to play a Civilization game for "just one more turn", "until this wonder/building/improvement is built", "until this war ends", "until this tech is discovered", "until this Golden Age ends", "until a certain number of turns"...

... One does not simply list all the things that exhibit the one-more-turn syndrome.
 

The White Hunter

Basment Abomination
Oct 19, 2011
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thesilentman said:
SkarKrow said:
thesilentman said:
One does not simply NOT get hit in a wooden tank.
One does not simply fight a woman who can light your ass on fire and juggle you around like a ragdoll while you attempt to attack with an electric katana.

I'm feeling nice, so cookies to people who can guess the games that I'm playing. :p
Assassins Creed Brotherhood, and the second I quoted may be one of the No More Heroes games.

OT: One does not simply leave star coins unacquired! (Currently playing Mario Bros U and yup, Shiny OCD acting up again, I must have them all you see.
First one's right, not the second. DAMN that mission and it's full synch requirement. I regularly destroy Dark Souls, but Hell on Wheels is way too much frustration in one sitting.
I hate the full sync requirements in any AC game, they're their to take away your freedom and provide busy work to extend the lifespan of the game, I'd rather they were just replayable and there was maybe a scoring system based on being seen, silent takedowns, etc. Also too much insta-fail in AC these days.
 

Brutal Peanut

This is so freakin aweso-BLARGH!
Oct 15, 2010
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"One does not simply follow the roads in Skyrim."

What is that? A nice road that will lead me directly where I need to go? Pfffffft - I'm going to climb the hell out of this mountain.
 

CorvusFerreum

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Jun 13, 2011
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Sprinal said:
One does not simply capture the Crown
One does not simply hold the crown.

One does not simply play one more turn in any turn based game ever.
One does not simply play one more duel in chivalry.
One does not simply play plow through the main quest in any RPG.
One does not simply not kill the pope in medieval II.
 

Megalodon

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May 14, 2010
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gmaverick019 said:
OniaPL said:
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY GET THE FUCKING CRYSTAL SHIP IN FTL.
another pain in my ass, dear fucking god, i've played through that game at least 40 different times now (beaten it only twice..fuck.) and only once have i ever gotten even CLOSE to getting the damn thing, i even stopped and looked through a step by step guide on how to get the bugger, and still couldn't happen.
Not just the bloody Crystal Ship, all the unlocks besides the Engi and Federation Cruisers, I've apparently logged 46 games since i bought the damn game on wednesday, and haven't been able to get any of the event specific unlocks. That game is silly, why lock your replayability behind a fucking random genrated event? I wouldn't even mind too much if they microtransactioned it, I'd pay another couple of quid to get the other 6 ships.