My hot take for today is that Assassin's Creed Origins had the best portrayal of a romantic relationship I've ever seen in a video game.
Lemme 'splain how my brain got there:
First I came across this Kotaku article celebrating sexual and romantic themes in recent games:
GTA 6 Trailer
Now please just spare me the usual "Kotaku sucks" thing, I know, I get it, this is just an opinion piece that is serving the purpose of sparking thought, so be chill.
The most interesting part of the article is a reference to an even better article:
Everyone Is Beautiful But No One Is Horny
It is also an opinion piece but an interesting one observing at how much of pop culture TV/movies especially superhero stuff shows off exquisite physiques but not genuinely sexually interesting behavior and compares to older pop culture. It's pretty interesting. They not only talk about sex but how homes are portrayed, food, etc- just
life stuff being messier and more real back in the day on screen and how sterile and militaristic things seem now.
So this makes me disagree with the Kotaku writer- she is celebrating sexual and adult themes in games GTA and the like to me are examples of the sterile and juvenile way of doing it which makes it feel more like the kind of thing the second article is criticizing.
I'm generally very skeptical of sex in games- not just as a certified prude, but because it's just corny. As you may have gathered from my recent posts I have less patience for waste and extra crap in media and sex in games is usually like "hur-dur boobies" and I just roll my eyes out of boredom. So I challenged myself to come up an example of romance/sex in games that felt like the kind of fun, real, cool stuff the second article was talking about- hot people actually lusting after each other and having some sort of real relationship.
And I came up with Bayek and Aya. They're rendered beautifully in the game in way to make them look real but no uncanny valley creepy. They're both super hot and do not have that kind of steroids-crash-diet look of Marvel DC superheroes but just genetically awesome and physically strong active people. They lust after each other and the sex scene feel like a real couple who want to fuck. The fact that they have a complicated history that is core to the story also helps.
Baldur's Gate 3 got a lot of attention for its horniness but from what I've seen it is all just very silly? That's fine, whatever, but I'm not impressed by that- BG3 is cool because it's a LOT and that includes all the horny but- and I say this as someone who only played a little and watched clips and follow the discourse- the fun is in the amount of different stuff not the strength of individual moments so much. And with the sex stuff- it's like oh you can fuck this person and see all kinds of silliness including with sex, but in the same way you can find weird little quests and insane characters and whatnot- a smorgasborg of adventures. And it's cool that sex stuff is part of that. But it's not
great? It's not like. oh, finally, adult themes in games or whatever.
I love the relationships in Witcher 3 but that's more because of the individual characters- the actual sex scenes are lame and rote. Obviously an improvement over the sex cards in the first game lol. Who know maybe they'll do something interesting in Witcher 4 when that come out in 2029 or whatever. I don't know who can do something interesting with romance/sex in games- maybe when Atreus' balls drop in the next God of War he can sow his oats in an interesting way.