Your worst joke
- Thread starter BBLIZZARD
- Start date
There were two prawns, Mike and Christian, sitting in the ocean, watching the world go by, when Mike turned to Christian and said "Chris, don't you ever wonder what we're doing with our lives? I mean, all we ever do is float around doing nothing. I'm going to aim higher - I want to be a shark!" Christian heard this and laughed out loud. "A shark!" he guffawed, "you're a prawn, Mike, and you're stuck like that!"
But a nearby magical cod heard this, and decided to lend a helping fin. He approached Mike later that day and said that he would turn him into a shark, as long as he understood the responsibilities that came with it. Mike hastily agreed to everything and, true to his wish, became a shark. The next few days were the best of his life and he had a lot of fun with his new fishy body, but before long, all of his old friends stopped talking to him. They believed he had abandoned them and didn't want to have anything to do with him. Mike realised this and, after a few weeks, he sought the magical cod again.
After several days he found the cod and he begged to be turned back into a prawn. "Oh cod, it's so hard being a shark," he snivelled, "All of my friends have stopped talking to me and the other sharks don't like me because I used to be a prawn. If you change be back I promise I'll never want to be anything other than a crustacean ever again! Please, great and wonderful magical cod, will you do this for me?"
The cod eventually agreed to change Mike back into a prawn. Mike thanked him profusely before setting out to find his friend, Christian. After a few more days of searching he saw him in the distance.
He shouted out to him, "I'm a prawn again Christian, and I found Cod!"
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Sorry for wasting your time if you didn't get it
But a nearby magical cod heard this, and decided to lend a helping fin. He approached Mike later that day and said that he would turn him into a shark, as long as he understood the responsibilities that came with it. Mike hastily agreed to everything and, true to his wish, became a shark. The next few days were the best of his life and he had a lot of fun with his new fishy body, but before long, all of his old friends stopped talking to him. They believed he had abandoned them and didn't want to have anything to do with him. Mike realised this and, after a few weeks, he sought the magical cod again.
After several days he found the cod and he begged to be turned back into a prawn. "Oh cod, it's so hard being a shark," he snivelled, "All of my friends have stopped talking to me and the other sharks don't like me because I used to be a prawn. If you change be back I promise I'll never want to be anything other than a crustacean ever again! Please, great and wonderful magical cod, will you do this for me?"
The cod eventually agreed to change Mike back into a prawn. Mike thanked him profusely before setting out to find his friend, Christian. After a few more days of searching he saw him in the distance.
He shouted out to him, "I'm a prawn again Christian, and I found Cod!"
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Sorry for wasting your time if you didn't get it
Bit rude, so I've hidden my shame.
A father is teaching his son how to wank. The kid says 'this is great fun dad' The dad says 'yes and when you get to thirteen you can use your own cock'
What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.
What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding it's breath.
What's grey and fluffy?
Old pink fluff.
What's green and fluffy?
Dead pink fluff.
What's black and crispy?
Burnt pink fluff.
Sorry... Still makes me chuckle though.
Pink fluff.
What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding it's breath.
What's grey and fluffy?
Old pink fluff.
What's green and fluffy?
Dead pink fluff.
What's black and crispy?
Burnt pink fluff.
Sorry... Still makes me chuckle though.
This ones a little racy. Although not as bad as some of the other ones I've seen on this thread.
Two guys are out hunting in the woods. One man is looking into the scope of a rifle and says "I can see your house from here, I can see your wife, she's cheating on you!"
The other one says" I've had it with her, shoot her in the head and shoot him in the crotch!"
The other one says "I can get that in one shot." -Larry the Cable Guy
The other one says" I've had it with her, shoot her in the head and shoot him in the crotch!"
The other one says "I can get that in one shot." -Larry the Cable Guy
A man returns home from a long day at work to find his house, his wife, and his car all on fire. As he calls the fire brigade, a strange dwarf runs past him giggling. The fire brigade arrive and put out the fires, and he embraces his slightly burnt wife and car.
A week later, the man arrives home again to find all he hold dear aflame. He once atgain summons the authorites as the strange dwarf runs past him yet again. The fireman arrive quicker than before and extinguish the fires, and he is again reunited with his spouse, his house and his car.
Another week passes, and again the man returns home to find all an inferno, worse than before. Now fed up with this, he grabs the passing dwarf, who again was running away laughing. He pulls him up to eye level and shouts in the dwarf's face "Have you been starting all the fires?"
To which the Dwarf replies "Yeah".
A week later, the man arrives home again to find all he hold dear aflame. He once atgain summons the authorites as the strange dwarf runs past him yet again. The fireman arrive quicker than before and extinguish the fires, and he is again reunited with his spouse, his house and his car.
Another week passes, and again the man returns home to find all an inferno, worse than before. Now fed up with this, he grabs the passing dwarf, who again was running away laughing. He pulls him up to eye level and shouts in the dwarf's face "Have you been starting all the fires?"
To which the Dwarf replies "Yeah".
I dont care if its been told but anyway...
I Spilled Spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.
- Steven Wright =D
I Spilled Spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.
- Steven Wright =D
Terrible jokes, they don't even sound like jokes.
1.
Son : Dad, what would happen if my hamster died?
Father : Well son, we'd have a party, you'll have a day off school so you can mourn
Son : Can i kill him now then?
2.
Father: Why were you sent home from school?
Son: The boy next to me was smoking in class.
Father: Why did you get sent home for that?
Son: I was the one who set him on fire.
1.
Son : Dad, what would happen if my hamster died?
Father : Well son, we'd have a party, you'll have a day off school so you can mourn
Son : Can i kill him now then?
2.
Father: Why were you sent home from school?
Son: The boy next to me was smoking in class.
Father: Why did you get sent home for that?
Son: I was the one who set him on fire.
A priest, rabbi and a minister are camping together, and play a game. They have to convert a bear to their religion, and they set out. They meet together again, and the priest says, "I saw a bear by the river, and sprinkled holy water on him, read from the Sacraments, and he agreed to come to Mass with me." The minister says, "I saw a bear by a tree, and preached to him about the grace of Jesus, and I baptized him in a stream nearby." The rabbi, horribly injured and bleeding, responds, "I guess I shouldn't have started with the circumcision"....