Your worst joke
- Thread starter BBLIZZARD
- Start date
A man comes home and sees his wife in the bed with his best friend. HIS BEST FRIEND.
You know what he says?
"Bad dog, bad dog!"
You know what he says?
"Bad dog, bad dog!"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and WalMart?
WalMart is a retail store. Michael Jackson is an entertainer.
WalMart is a retail store. Michael Jackson is an entertainer.
(I...just...don't get this one...I really want to, but can you explain it?
A flying mouse ate a hot dog, so the other flying/crashing mouse needn't worry? :? )
Anyway...
By the way, what's BIG, red, and eats rocks?
Why, a big red Rock-eater, of course!
Is it bad luck if a black cat crosses your path?
Well, if you're a mouse, it sure is!!
What does a 500-lb gorilla eat for lunch?
Anything it wants!
What does a 1,000-lb canary eat for lunch?
Anything it wants!
A flying mouse ate a hot dog, so the other flying/crashing mouse needn't worry? :? )
Anyway...
By the way, what's BIG, red, and eats rocks?
Why, a big red Rock-eater, of course!
Is it bad luck if a black cat crosses your path?
Well, if you're a mouse, it sure is!!
What does a 500-lb gorilla eat for lunch?
Anything it wants!
What does a 1,000-lb canary eat for lunch?
Anything it wants!
Whats red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disquise.
Ok.
This joke is absolutely horrible. I mean, horrible. Do not read it unless you have absolutely nothing to do. And it's quite long.
This joke is absolutely horrible. I mean, horrible. Do not read it unless you have absolutely nothing to do. And it's quite long.
So, there's this guy named Stanley and he's a train conductor. One day, he's conducting his train and he runs over, and kills, 3 people. He gets brought before a judge, where he is sentenced to death. However, before he dies, he is allowed to have one last meal of whatever he wants. Stanley tells them, "On an island in the Caribbean, there's this banana tree. On it are 3 pink bananas. I would like a pink banana cream pie." So the judge sends someone out to get a pink banana and make the pie. After the pie is made, they give the pie to Stanley who eats it eagerly. He then says, "OK, I'm ready to die now. So they put him in the electric chair and set at the medium voltage and zap him. Smoke goes into the air. When the smoke clears, Stanley is still sitting on the chair, unhurt. The judge is astounded, and wants to try again, but Stanley says, "Hey! Thats it, you did what you said you would, now let me go! So they let him go.
One week later, Stanley is driving his train again when he runs over 5 people, two parents and 3 children. He again gets brought before a judge, who again sentences him to death. However, he still gets his last meal, so he again orders a pink banana cream pie. He eats it and says, "Mmmm! That was delicious! I'm ready to die now." They then strap him in the electric chair and raise the power high enough to kill a horse. They pull the lever, and smoke flies threw the air. When it clears, Stanley is still sitting in the chair! After arguing over whether or not they can try again, they eventually let Stanley free.
1 month later, Stanley is conducting his train when he runs over 4 people. He is brought before a judge who sentences him to death for the third time. When he orders his pink banana cream pie, the judge says "Uhuh! That pie is obviously preventing you from getting what you deserve, so can't have that." So Stanley orders a regular cream pie. After eating it, he says, "meh, it was OK, just not that special." Again Stanley is strapped into the electric chair. They now raise the power to its maximum. They pull the lever, and there is a huge explosive noise. All the cities lights go out. Smoke rises into the air. When it clears, Stanley is still sitting in the chair! The judge, bewildered, says, "What's happening? Why aren't you dead?" And Stanley , smiling, says, "I guess I'm just a bad conductor"!
One week later, Stanley is driving his train again when he runs over 5 people, two parents and 3 children. He again gets brought before a judge, who again sentences him to death. However, he still gets his last meal, so he again orders a pink banana cream pie. He eats it and says, "Mmmm! That was delicious! I'm ready to die now." They then strap him in the electric chair and raise the power high enough to kill a horse. They pull the lever, and smoke flies threw the air. When it clears, Stanley is still sitting in the chair! After arguing over whether or not they can try again, they eventually let Stanley free.
1 month later, Stanley is conducting his train when he runs over 4 people. He is brought before a judge who sentences him to death for the third time. When he orders his pink banana cream pie, the judge says "Uhuh! That pie is obviously preventing you from getting what you deserve, so can't have that." So Stanley orders a regular cream pie. After eating it, he says, "meh, it was OK, just not that special." Again Stanley is strapped into the electric chair. They now raise the power to its maximum. They pull the lever, and there is a huge explosive noise. All the cities lights go out. Smoke rises into the air. When it clears, Stanley is still sitting in the chair! The judge, bewildered, says, "What's happening? Why aren't you dead?" And Stanley , smiling, says, "I guess I'm just a bad conductor"!