You're a guy on a date. Who pays?

[Sansha]

Whoever asks for the date is the one who pays.

Subsequent dates have both people cover their own costs.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

One buys food, one buys cinema tickets?

Usually how it goes on my end.

 

[Sunrider]

I always pay. There could be exceptions, but not very often. It's not a matter of principles or anything like that, I just like doing it. It's somewhere between wanting to be nice and feeling good about it, and a sort of superiority complex or something along those lines. Not superiority complex per se, but everyone I've dated had less money than me. I've been working for eight or so years now, with a good salary, so I can afford it. Why ponder it too much?

Oh wait, I guess I just did...

 

[Sebenko]

With my boyfriend, due to long distance, it's whoever is "hosting" that visit, unless finances are difficult (Which they tend to be, what with student life and all).

 

[CerealKiller214]

I usually pay all of the bills. Just because I am a gentleman and I learned to treat other people as I want to be treated.
But if she insists on paying, I wouldn't mind.

 

[octafish]

Let me see if I remember. I as the guy always offered to pay, but split the bill if my date insisted on it. Also I led my date to the table after holding the door for her. Then held her chair as she sat. I also did all the ordering unless my date couldn't seem decide in which case I would still order but I would make my order and then "...and I think it is the Blah blah" with a questioning look to my date just in case my date had changed her mind.

 

[Estelindis]

I'm a girl and I would never expect a guy to just pay for the date himself. I'll always offer to pay my share. Alwyas. It's nice when he does offer to pay the whole thing, but it's not something that's a deal breaker if he doesn't do it. If a guy is keen to pay for the date (which according to the boyf, makes him feel gentlemanly) I won't deny him that! But I think it's wrong to just assume that he'll do it automatically.

Same here. As a woman, I think it's unfair to expect the guy to pay for everything.

On the other hand, sometimes it feels a bit like leaving the price tag on a present when one splits the bill (though I suppose this feeling can't be avoided totally in a restaurant, as most show what each item costs when you're ordering it in the first place). If it's possible for each person to pay for all of one thing (e.g. one paying the restaurant bill and the other buying theatre tickets, assuming the costs are relatively similar), that works well too.

One buys food, one buys cinema tickets?

Usually how it goes on my end.

Yes, this is pretty much ideal.

 

[kayisking]

I'm from Holland. There's a reason you people call it "going dutch".

 

[Sparrow]

I always pay. Then again, it never ammounts to much so it's never mattered that much to me.

 

[somonels]

*Irrelevant*

Plus despite equality, women still like being treated.

And men don't. Oh, wait, they aren't being treated.

Have you ever been in a relationship where the woman pays for everything? Even once without compensation? I haven't.

No, but they exist. See #1. Ok.

These abusive, or even self-abusive, relationships exist. Voluntary actions are driven by will - meaning there is always some end that the mind wishes to achieve. That end may be to influence others to receive compensation from outside sources or an inner mental mechanism.

A bite-size chunk: There is always some sort of compensation, it does not have to make sense or seem logical, but there always is.

 

[Joepow]

50-50, unless it's a first date, in wich case it's usually expected for the initiator to pay
(although I don't believe he/she should be obliged to).

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

I got so pissed off that my girlfriend kept trying to pay for all out dates. But then I ran out of money so it was fitting

I believe in the rule that if you asked the date, you pay. If they asked you, they pay.

 

[ChaoticKraus]

The logical solution is that each person buys for what they bought. That way you bill won't be inflated if she bought lobster or something.

That's the way it works in Sweden atleast. Not only on dates but on all occasions where several persons do something that costs money together.

 

[Evidencebased]

...

I wasn't really thinking of the doors thing as a trade off for the whole payment thing. But then you probably already knew that. >.> Interesting thing about the peeing though, but you cannot deny that it's easier for men.
I don't buy the whole mentality thing though. Physical factors influence the brain and the brain influences the way we think. May I name PMSing as an gender-related example? I'm also perfectly willing to admit that women are, on average, better at parallel processing than men are.
Anyway, it's been nice sharing views with a feminist on this; and a feminist with a sense humour at that! Usually when I've talked to other feminists about the differences between men and women they tend to get really angry, really quickly. But I think it's good to discuss them, because then you can get closer to resolving gender issues, through mutual respect and understanding. ^.^

Mutual respect and understanding are great!

...Of course, there's also Wonderella's approach: http://nonadventures.com/2011/08/20/terror-dactyl/

 

[twaddle]

meay. i always end up paying. but right recently my gf was more happy with the visit to walmart than the actual exhibit we went to so i told her i'm not spending above $30 on a date for a while. I love the woman but damn, i'm a university student without a job so yeah.

 

[Odbarc]

No, but they exist. See #1. Ok.

**These abusive, or even self-abusive, relationships exist. Voluntary actions are driven by will - meaning there is always some end that the mind wishes to achieve. That end may be to influence others to receive compensation from outside sources or an inner mental mechanism.

*A bite-size chunk: There is always some sort of compensation, it does not have to make sense or seem logical, but there always is.

*If dating weren't rewarding, no one would do it.
**Everything is possible. No matter how messed up the conditions, it exists - yes. I recall a pair of girls with a cup.

 

[The Gnome King]

...what do you do when you're out on a date? what do you think SHOULD be done?

The "*****" always, always pays. Sometimes that's the guy, sometimes that's the girl.

Otherwise, unless you're in a serious relationship or doing a "hey I'll get lunch this time, you get it next time" - go dutch.

Women don't need their meals paid for by men in this day and age. There are more employed women in the US and in college than men right now, FYI.

Paying for a woman's meals and trying too hard is a sure way to get booted into "friend" status from "potential alpha male-boyfriend-lover" status.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I would offer to pay on a date. Who wouldn't? It makes you look like a nicer person. You would look like a proper douche if you expected the other person to pay. Nowadays when I go out with my fiancée we split the bill, because that seems fairer.

 

[viking97]

if i had the cash, sure. it's a polite-ness thing, i think. i'd still want to pay if my date was with a guy (straight male, btw)

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Each person pays for what they themselves bought.