You're a guy on a date. Who pays?

[LaughingJester]

I think in this day and age where women demand equal treatment, they should be willing to contribute as a part of that. The dates I find the women I am out will fight with me to pay half.

I am having a debate with my housemate who's new 'independent' (bloodsucking) gf expects him to 'take care of her' each time they go out and pay for movies, meals etc.


...what do you do when you're out on a date? what do you think SHOULD be done?



p.s I have written this from the guys perspective because I AM A GUY, but my escapist sisters please drop your comments too!

 

[ace_of_something]

When I did date it was whoever ASKED the other person out was usually who paid. If you're in an existing relationship I usually payed 3/4 of the time or just had the girl pay for the tip.

One exception was when I dated a chick who was an engineer of some sort and made about 4x as much money as I did. Then I only paid about 1/4 of the time.

One advantage of being married is all your money goes to the same place so you don't really worry about it anymore.

 

[Berethond]

I tend to date the ...odd ones, so it often ends up split 50/50

 

[FalloutJack]

I like to pay. I have a bit to spread around, so I figure "Why not?".

 

[chaosyoshimage]

What if you're a guy dating a guy? See, I just don't get it...

 

[TehCookie]

Equality bitches, split the bill 50/50. However if you care about them you should offer to pay (that applies to both genders).

 

[Instant K4rma]

Being rather broke, I can't really afford to be paying for entire dinners or several movie tickets, though I would cough up enough for an even split of the payment at least...

Maybe a 60/40 split if I'm feeling like a gentleman.

[sub]Maybe.[/sub]

 

[Frasman]

Usually if I offer to take my gal out on the town, than I pay. If she invites me out somewhere she pays. It works out pretty well.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

I am a female and I've never really dated all that much, to be honest. I've only been on a handful of dates. At the beginning of the meal, I'd just ask the waiter/waitress to put my meal on a separate bill. Seemed easier.

I used to pay for my meal when I met my Husband, now he snatches that piece of paper off the table right when it's set down. Not that it matters - in a way, it can be seen as the same money since we do share that account. But for some reason, he still likes to be the one to pay. lol

 

[LaughingJester]

What if you're a guy dating a guy? See, I just don't get it...

I wrote it from my point of view as a heterosexual male... are there any different conventions for same sex couples?

 

[chaosyoshimage]

What if you're a guy dating a guy? See, I just don't get it...

I wrote it from my point of view as a heterosexual male... are there any different conventions for same sex couples?

I have no clue, I've never had one of these "relationship" things. Well, when I was 12, does that count? It was awful. Oh, your problem, I have no clue, everyone else has good advice, go with that.

 

[LaughingJester]

Usually if I offer to take my gal out on the town, than I pay. If she invites me out somewhere she pays. It works out pretty well.

sounds like a good deal...

 

[Nickolai77]

If it's on the first date, it should be the one whom asks, which is usually the guy.
If it's on later dates, most couples i think have their own conventions. Ideally though, they would either go 50/50 or buy things themselves.

 

[LaughingJester]

I say if it's a first date then both the couple she pay there own way. In a more traditional sense, I suppose it would be whoever asked who out, and that would show that "they" want to take "you" out, or vice versa. In a old way it's man pays for women, but obviously chivalry is dead and it was silly in the first place, though so is a man making more money then a women and we still see that, so stuck up men like that should pay for the company of a woman.

Also these day's we see homosexual dating much more commonly, so the rules on who pays on a date kinda lose even more purpose then they already barely had.

When me and my Ex dated, we either payed for ourselves, or each other depending on who had more money at the time.

sounds reasonable, n true given the stuck up power tripping guys out there (who in melbourne frequent a few bars I could name! ) prob should be paying for the food n drinks

 

[LaughingJester]

Tats are good as long as they have meaning or support the 'look' of a person. I do tend to laugh at the people who go and get tats out of the book.

 

[b3nn3tt]

Yeh, I think it should pretty much either be the person who does the asking, or a 50/50 split. Or any other way the daters want to split it. When I first dated my girlfriend I offered to pay for the food and she paid for the drinks.

It does annoy me though that there still remains an expectation that the guy should pay. The only time someone should get upset or annoyed over paying towards a date is if it had been agreed in advance that they wouldn't.

I am having a debate with my housemate who's new 'independent' (bloodsucking) gf expects him to 'take care of her' each time they go out and pay for movies, meals etc

Your friend's girlfriend is a tool. Personally, I wouldn't be putting up with that, but to each their own I guess.

 

[Evidencebased]

Dutch all the way! Unless one person is seriously unable to afford going out (or one person insists on going somewhere crazy-expensive, which the other couldn't bear paying for) then I think it's easiest to just split the thing or pay your own way. Alternating paying works too, or having the date-asker pay, unless one person does most of the asking out and it becomes unbalanced.

I'm a woman, fyi. And I'll say it's sweet when a guy offers to pay (not that I get offended if he doesn't) but I always insist on paying for myself anyways -- especially because I usually spend at least part of the date mentioning I'm a feminist, so I really have to put my money where my mouth is! ;p

 

[Evidencebased]

...

I am having a debate with my housemate who's new 'independent' (bloodsucking) gf expects him to 'take care of her' each time they go out and pay for movies, meals etc

Your friend's girlfriend is a tool. Personally, I wouldn't be putting up with that, but to each their own I guess.

Yeah, she isn't exactly clear on the concept of "independent" is she? Does this girl have an income at all? Unless she's dead broke or can barely afford food/medication/housing/etc. (which might make a little occasional mooching forgivable, for a girl or guy, 'cause hey sometimes even the best of us could use a hand) she needs to start pulling her own weight financially. Hell, it might be good for her self-esteem to act like a functional solvent adult!