I usually end up paying. Because my subconscious wants to play the 'gentleman' card. It's bloody expensive... Sigh
You're a guy on a date. Who pays?
- Thread starter LaughingJester
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This. My girlfriend and I usually each pay half, but when one of us offers to pay in full, the other typically obliges.TehCookie said:
Going dutch makes life soooo much easier. Less fighting, and then comes the time where she dosnt have enough, it always happens latter on.(For those of you who dont know what that is, its you pay for YOUR food, tickets ect.)
i will offer if i have the money but if i don't i will usually turn down a date. now if we both have the money and she speaks up and says she will pay, i will play it off but soon back off and know she paid and if the relationship goes anywhere i will keep it in mind so i will make sure that it cant be held over my head down the line
For me it depends on who asks out who.
If she asks you then she pays, if you ask her then you pay. If you end up going for someone who is often too shy to ask you (or vice versa) then you either split it 50/50, do rock paper scissors or just swap who pays for every date after that (I.E- 1st: You, 2nd: Her, 3rd: You, 4th: Her, etc.)
If she asks you then she pays, if you ask her then you pay. If you end up going for someone who is often too shy to ask you (or vice versa) then you either split it 50/50, do rock paper scissors or just swap who pays for every date after that (I.E- 1st: You, 2nd: Her, 3rd: You, 4th: Her, etc.)
Oddly, rarely been out on dates... what few I've been on, whoever has the money, I guess (sometimes me, sometimes her, if both, we split).
If I paid for the whole thing, then the girl will feel like she needs to give me something in return just because I spent money on her.
I will always insist on paying 50/50 unless she has no money or shes saving her money for something more important.
Having a European girlfriend helps these things.
I will always insist on paying 50/50 unless she has no money or shes saving her money for something more important.
Having a European girlfriend helps these things.
So you feel a woman is doing you such a favor by going on a date with you, that you don't mind plunking down the cash? It has nothing to do with "having" the money or not - I'm certainly comfortably upper middle class, myself, and have been since I was a child. I'm 32 now, I've been married for 11 years, lost my virginity at 14 and haven't ever been without female companionship in my entire life.GigaHz said:
So I suppose my "garbage" is working for me as well and you've said nothing that would convince me to change MY approach.
The "alpha male" mentality has nothing to do with being insecure; quite the opposite. Throwing money at somebody because you're so glad for their attention - now that is insecure. I have felt this way before any of the "pick up artist" garbage has been out there; I'm actually old enough to have (gasp) dated women before any of these PUA asshats have even been around offering their amusing advice on the internet.
Alpha men don't need to look up dating techniques; they're comfortable in their own skin and comfortable letting the woman know she has to hold up to her end of the deal. It's like men who say "thanks" after sex - thanks for what? An enjoyable experience for us both? Yuck.
Women prefer strong, confident men. Always offering to pay for everything shows that you are neither and believe that you must buy affection.
I'm not saying never pay for a date - but make sure she's paying sometimes, too. Remember, feminists want equality. Not to be taken care of. Strong women like strong men.
Can you pay, wine, and dine a woman enough to get her into your bed? Sure; if you want to be seen as a beta-male meal ticket the rest of your life.
There are strong biological reasons why women prefer strong men. Period. Think on why that might be; why women want the strong man to impregnate them but the soft man to help raise the kids. I can scour the internet to find links to studies proving this, but so can you.
With my exs we used to take it in turns, so I'd pay one night and he'd pay the next. I think that way both people get to feel like they are being treated.
Now this is a response I genuinely like.The Gnome King said:
No, I don't mind putting down the cash to dine a woman because I view it as a treat for them. Has little to do with wanting them in my company. Everything else after the dinner is just a bonus. If they insist that they pay their share, they are welcome to do it but I don't force them to split the bill if they made no mention of doing so. I find that most women worth their skin eventually do suggest to split the bill anyway. For me, it has more to do with who I am and my perspective on being a gentleman. My argument was simply because I would never call my actions '*****' like. I don't really need an excuse or justification for my choices. I view it as a good thing to do.
When it comes to approaches, to each their own. I made the false assumption that you were one of those avid PUA pushers. But from your argument, you are not. For that, I'm sorry. I'm against the entire thing because it simplifies men. I have done things that many would perceive as alpha or beta. So which one would I fall into? Alpha or Beta? That's why I view the whole thing as garbage. Either I am some strange exception to the rule, or the whole methodology is bunk. Yes, some Alpha stereotypes reign true because many things are biological fact, however that doesn't mean that if every man does those things that it will work for every woman. After all, not every man does those things naturally. PUA is all about channelling those traits and adopting it for yourself. THAT is garbage.
Although I've never heard of a man saying thanks after sex. That's kind of funny and sad at the same time.
The thing is, I have yet to meet an alpha male. Even the toughest dudes I know are vulnerable when all the bravado bullshit is removed. So where is the divide?
For me, I've never had a lot of problems with women. A few, because I'm human, but nothing that would have me believe that I am less than my fellow man or a 'beta'. Always been one of a kind, and I can even say that women have approached me looking to be in a relationship once or twice. I haven't been married, but I have been close (I ended it, due to being too young and poor at the time). That counts for something, I guess. But hey, clearly you have your shit together so something must be working.
It's just hard to approach these issues without knowing everyones backstory. Generalizations and false assumptions are going to happen, one way or another.
Me and my boyfriend usually go 50/50, he paid for our first date, but that was on my birthday,so he said it was a present. 
I think for the first few dates (when its not serious) split bills are the way to go, after that you cant do `I'll get this one, you get the next one` and so on.
As a woman, I wouldn't be offended if a guy asked for seperate bills, I dont expect to be paid for.
I think for the first few dates (when its not serious) split bills are the way to go, after that you cant do `I'll get this one, you get the next one` and so on.
As a woman, I wouldn't be offended if a guy asked for seperate bills, I dont expect to be paid for.
I tried the whole 50/50 thing recently and it failed so hard. I paid for the dinner and the girl I was seeing was going to pay for the movie. Before we even got to the theater, she tried to buy snacks and her card was declined for a $5 purchase, so I ended up buying everything that night. I was kind of put off by the whole situation. And what made it funnier/sadder is that she had a full time job and I only had a part time one.
So no, I don't do that 50/50 bullshit. Besides, it's just another reason for the girl to hold out on sex, and I don't play that either. Yes, I'm an asshole.
So no, I don't do that 50/50 bullshit. Besides, it's just another reason for the girl to hold out on sex, and I don't play that either. Yes, I'm an asshole.