Zero Punctuation: Age of Conan

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geldonyetich

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Aug 2, 2006
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Both funny and a pretty good take on the qualities of the game as always.

I have to admire his patience he didn't do the 5 second review on this: "It's a MMORPG. It's not a game so much as a life-sucking tragedy. Goodbye." The elaboration that went into this review is quite on-point.

I was briefly excited about Age of Conan, played it up to level 40, then the whole thing sort of fizzled out. Grind > Gameplay = Game Over.
 

Archedgar

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May 7, 2008
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Zeithri said:
Way better?
I bought EQ2 online with all expansions.
I played it for 5min, then I turned that horrible game of.

They probably were the first, but not the best ones. Lineage II being a perfect example of a horrible MMO whereat you cannot even walk up close to a friend because your character will do anything in her power to walk AROUND that person instead.

Cartoony graphics is a crappy argument to use.
Which one of those games has 10 million subscribers?
Both of them had huge fan bases during their glory days.

EQ1 and Lineage 2 set up the majority of the MMORPG standards of today.

WoW is basically a knockoff of already successful MMORPGs of the era designed for children, which is why the difficulty is cranked *way* down and the enviroment is cartoony and childish.

Poor end game, bad interaction, -extremely- dumb/12 year old player base, heh.
 

lostix

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Dec 6, 2007
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As a law student, I Just wanted to say my vocabulary has increased as a result of watching Zero Punctuation. I don't know what to make of it really.
 

Zephirius

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Jul 9, 2008
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I'm sure Yahtzee remembers talking about oiling up his thighs for Age of Conan in his Haze review. I hope he enjoyed it. And no, I did not read 7 pages of comments to see if anyone else remembered this, so sue me.

P.S.: I hope he reviews Just Cause some time.
 

The9mm

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Jul 24, 2008
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Zephirius said:
I'm sure Yahtzee remembers talking about oiling up his thighs for Age of Conan in his Haze review. I hope he enjoyed it. And no, I did not read 7 pages of comments to see if anyone else remembered this, so sue me.

P.S.: I hope he reviews Just Cause some time.
fanboy^^
 

Zephirius

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The9mm said:
..How? I mean, I remember him saying that, oh no I've got a good memory. I've never even played Haze or Age of Conan and Just Cause has some fun guerrilla stu-..Oh right, troll. Nevermind.
 

The9mm

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Jul 24, 2008
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Zephirius said:
The9mm said:
..How? I mean, I remember him saying that, oh no I've got a good memory. I've never even played Haze or Age of Conan and Just Cause has some fun guerrilla stu-..Oh right, troll. Nevermind.
your a yahtzee-fanboy for remembering his exact words
not a game-fanboy
that i dont know about^^
dont take it so seriously :)
 

Cid Silverwing

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Jul 27, 2008
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Finally! Someone stabbed the very game that stole away an unacceptable number of people off WoW (not that I would care as much now anyway) right where it hurts the most. Where that spot is I'll leave to your imaginations.
 

Zephirius

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The9mm said:
your a yahtzee-fanboy for remembering his exact words
How would you know I didn't watch the Haze review for the first time two days ago and watched the AoC one after that? And besides, it's still mainly that I have a good memory, only saw that review twice. (And in case you didn't notice most people that watch his reviews watch them at least twice). If he recommends a game I'll at least check it out because that's so rare and psychonauts did entertain me so I know our tastes are at least somewhat smilar but the negative reviews are purely comedic value. I hate being called a fanboy unless it involves Star Trek or Jim Carrey. >_> Anywho, not going to reply to further bullcrap arguments as to why my good memory = fanboy. Super, take care now, bye bye then.
 

Klonoa Prower

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Jul 23, 2008
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I think the big question is... since he had to spread oil on his thighs to play Age of Conan... doesn't that mean he was upset the entire time he played the game because he only like marshmallow fluff there?
 

Vitalix

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Sep 27, 2007
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disposable157 said:
Can't help but feel Vitalix is right... Yahtzee was never briliant at the whole review thing- usually preferring to skip lightly over most criticisms and focus on one or two. This one felt far more like a blog entry than anything else- a bit like Living in Oblivion. Yes, it was funny but it also felt tired. Maybe he's been having too many late nights.
Thanks. It's very easy to slip in verbal hyperbole and rant that Yahtzee has "sold out" or that he "totally sucks now." That's not true though. He's still witty and insightful. I just don't understand how he can wave the story-flag in his reviews and then bash story in AoC when it appears.

I wonder if Yahtzee's decision to play his character nude is a hint to us that he never really gave this review or this game his full and serious attention.
 

GoblinOnFire

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Hamster at Dawn said:
If Gamespot has taught me anything it's that Yahtzee will be fired by the escapist for not licking Age of Conan's balls.
hehehe. The now famous "Jeffgate" episode cost GS alot of readers/forumdwellers/troll/flamers..
 

Cyclomega

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GoblinOnFire said:
Hamster at Dawn said:
If Gamespot has taught me anything it's that Yahtzee will be fired by the escapist for not licking Age of Conan's balls.
hehehe. The now famous "Jeffgate" episode cost GS alot of readers/forumdwellers/troll/flamers..
The Jeffgate incident was deplorable, but most of the time I found myself disagreeing on Gertsmann for the very reasons he roasted a game.
When he reviewed Quake 4 on X360, I felt like he was whining "It's not as pretty as on a PC, ergo it sucks". How much of an argument is that ? aren't you supposed to review a game for a console by the console's standards, and not say that a PC port sucks because it's not playing on a high-end PC ? I felt confused by this.

Same goes for Kane & Lynch. My roommate talked me into buying it because he had a lot of fun with his copy last year before selling with his whole 360 console and collection due to harsh problems with his bank, and after an initial 10 minutes of whining about unintuitive radar, limited on-screen infos, Wolverine syndrome regarding health management and confusing as shit split-screen co-op, I found out I was having fun.
The cover system is maybe a bit too context-sensitive, but once you get it, the game is surprisingly easy to control, except some parts missing clarity (like when you enter the bank, took me some attempts before seeing exactly what I was supposed to do).
Same goes for their abuse of f*ck... when a game is rated M, I can't see any reason not to abuse on swearing, especially when you play insane convicts bent on bloody revenge. But I suppose people will remind me of the children, and I will remind again that when parents let kids play GTA, it's not my fault, since I'm not a shop clerk nor taking part, but just telling them to READ ratings before blindly buying and letting the game babysit the kids...

TL;DR, back to the subject :

I liked the review a lot, it did not made me laugh as hard as Yahtzee did sometimes, but I liked his way of poking the game. The idea of playing naked seems funny too.

I don't play mumorpegers, some friends insisted I joined them on Guild Wars, Anarchy Online or Cabal Online, and while Cabal's beta was cool and now the game offers tailored susbcriptions in addition of a core game now free, I feel that I am already wasting my time enough like that with all my unfinished games and things I like for playing a undending grind-fest and socializing at the same time on top of that...

Maybe I'm pessimistic, but I wonder if you can truly make friends in an MMO... especially if you can't be arsed to play daily, or weekly... I know my roommate met some really great people, and some promiscuous girls who after 5 minutes of questing in your party were a little too eager to show off everything and act explicitly on MSN, but still...
 

yourkie1921

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ElToRo15 said:
Nice review as always yathzee. I never thought paying for a game every month was a good idea so i just played one of those free Korean MMORPG's, Silk Road online to be specific. Argh! When are you gonna review rock band?
You can't review silkroad online because of the F-n bots. and I wouldn't enjoy a review of free MMORPG's that are online unless it's many reviews in one week. The closest thing I'd tolerate is a runescape review but only because it's basically because it's almost as popular as Halo and sucks ass.
 

Knorke

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Apr 3, 2008
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Hey Yahtzee, how about turning "The adventures of Thinderella: The necromantic naturist." into a small show in form of small, 30 seconds long clips after a review? I bet people here would love it and appreciate the additional effort.
Well, just my 3 ?-Cents. I think it's a great idea.