Zero Punctuation: Batman Arkham Asylum

[crabdog62482]

My greatest gripe wasn't addressed. The body count exceeds 100 fatalities by the time this is resolved, and even before this game, every villian has put at least a dozen normals in the ground, and yet, Batman and the law are insistant on bringing these criminals to justice and rehabilitating them. WTF!? I'm sorry, but a crime of passion resulting in murder should cost you half your natural life, wherein you spend every second of your incarcaration either being sodomized, tormented, or fearing being sodomized or tormented. Anything beyond that body count should equate to death penalty carried out by bullet behind the ear. Serial killers, mass murderers, serial rapists, pedophiles, and the clinically insane CANNOT be rehabilitated. The entire idea of stalking around and beating criminals just to get them back into their cells is ludicruous after just watching them kill innocents in mass and having to watch them do it over and over in every new location and cut scene. F@#$ING Zasz has killed 30+ women and you knock him out even though you just heard a recorded session where he tells his treating doctor that he knows her address and habits and intends to kill her next. That's just silly. The greatest flaw of this game is trying to take a bleeding heart like batman and putting him in an uber violent world that makes reality look tame. It makes for a very weird experience.

 

[ThatJagoGuy]

I preferred this week's ZP to the last 12. However to counter my usual negativity and cynicism, I think any "serious" Batman incarnation is boring. Bring back camp JAmes Woods-esque Batman I say...!

 

[axelman92]

Definitely buying this game now! Its hard to find a game Yahtzee actually likes.

 

[lozfoe444]

What about the joker? You didn't say anything about the Joker. Well, besides the whole "I'm afriad it's just begun: thing.

 

[whaleswiththumbs]

I've been refreshing every minute for an hour waiting for this to be put on...hurry my life is complete again.

They're on every Wednesday at 5pm GMT pretty much exactly.

For me, in the american central time zone, thats about 11:00 am.

I forgot my hat for that one part, there a big mess now.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

Great review. Think I might buy this. Also, is it just me, or does it look like that Batman stick figure is making a really big smile rather than wearing a white mask around his mouth?

 

[OneBadMother]

I applaud Yahtzee for not making the obvious joke that Arkham Asylum has the worst security detail of any "high-security" prison in recorded history.

 

[Pink_Pirate]

a bit disappointing to be honest really... not much fun watching yahtzee review a good game. Now dont get me wrong, it was a good review, but you cannot honestly believe anybody watches ZP because they actually care what yahtzee thinks? It's all about the dick jokes, which this review was severely lacking. I'd no sooner buy a games based of a ZP review than i would based of an IGN review. For very different reasons of course, but yahtzee takes the piss out of games because its funny, and very often just for the sake of doing it. i expected more than a couple of complaints about absolutely inconsequential gameplay elements.

that said, I eagerly await the next one.

 

[awatkins]

Dont waste money on a Filthy 'guide' book. Save your money for hookers and cocain; use the INTERNET!!!

 

[Macrobiotic]

Hm.

I had kind of hoped that the game would give me the option to play as The Joker.

 

[JusticarPhaeton]

It's funny, i played the demo and it was nothing short of a giant piece of poo. Well, ok, it was shiny poo, but rather shallow. At least it's nice to see they made a decent game out of it, and out of a superhero franchise at that.

 

[Keivz]

I didn't like the demo and I trust my instincts. But so many people can't be wrong, can they? I mean, even Yahtzee likes it. I'll wait for it to drop in the bargain bin. I've got too many other games to play anyway.

 

[sln333]

Yay he gave it a good review! It truly is a great game if you haven't played it already. I didn't mind the size of the cape or the running. The boss fights were a little on the weak side, but I can't imagine them being more realistic without being impossible. It's not like Batman can fight hand to hand with Killer Croc. If you don't have the game yet, buy it now.

 

[James Cassidy]

a bit disappointing to be honest really... not much fun watching yahtzee review a good game. Now dont get me wrong, it was a good review, but you cannot honestly believe anybody watches ZP because they actually care what yahtzee thinks? It's all about the dick jokes, which this review was severely lacking. I'd no sooner buy a games based of a ZP review than i would based of an IGN review. For very different reasons of course, but yahtzee takes the piss out of games because its funny, and very often just for the sake of doing it. i expected more than a couple of complaints about absolutely inconsequential gameplay elements.

that said, I eagerly await the next one.

Really? I think some people, not to mention names, actually watch Yahtzee to give reviews about a game they are thinking about buying.

See you say that it is not as fun when yahtzee praises a game because you want him to bash it. Which is fine. I enjoy the jokes that yahtzee gives and such, but there are some people on this forum who sit here and say "he bashed this game so it must not be good and so I won't play it" like the hypocrites most of them are.

I mean you either look to yahtzee as a a reviewer or you look at him for a pleasurable laugh poking fun at popular games and some not known about. People need to understand that they cannot have it both ways.

There are plenty of games Yahtzee has reviewed that he bashed and the games in question are actually good games, but people will say "Yahtzee hated it so I will too." Yahtzee only bashes the game because that is in his job description. Even he has said many of times "people hate it when I praise games so I mostly just bash it. Besides, you should not let my opinion alone to conform you to make choices. That, in essence, is the retard of retards."

That is the only think that urks me about his fanbase. Some are so hypocritical that if he recommends a game like Batman: Arkham Asylum, which is a really good game and the flaws are minor (what game doesn't have a flaw or two?), they say he is nuts and off his rocker, but they praise him and take his word like the word of God if he bashes a game to death.

I don't know if you are like me, but I watch Yahtzee for entertainment and poke fun at the things. I don't take his word as law and I still bought many of the games he said were "so bad" according to his fanbase and most of them are really good.

 

[Lord Thodin]

I gotta admit I was backing Yahtzee 200% until he mentioned that comic book literature isn't that good. Ill admit that 50% of the comics sales are attributed to their art but you cant sell half a product. If you read any series worth its salt, you'll know that comic book writing is some of the best written word left on this planet. By that I mean don't compare the early Spiderman comics with The Dark Knight by Frank Miller.

 

[Wolcik]

Awesome!! It was worth waiting for considering that the last ZP was great with rhymes and all, that's amazing that this still makes me so exicited XD

 

[obliterate]

Well the review was once again awesome and he did mention everything...perfect review actually...nuff said

 

[drakenabarion]

I find it funny that some people give scores for this review in the form of 10/10 or in %, considering that Yahtzee clears despises such a grading system.

After all, its not like a game really takes a graded exam of 100 questions before being reviewed. Perhaps games and consoles should take exams before they are made (*glares at Wii again*), but for reviews, numbers are abstract and its stupid to try to quantify something as subjective as gaming.

If Yahtzee did a review of a JRPG with numbered scoring (e.g. Final Fantasy 7... Just an example, I am not asking for a review) then I bet half the JRPG fans would pass out and crash their cars (if they managed to check the internet while driving).


Anyway, back on topic: this Batman game will definitely be on my steam download list once I top up my virtual credit card

 

[Slimshad]

OH well. I guess this one was a bit funnier, though that's not saying much. I used to take his good reviews seriously, but Yahtzee hasn't sold me on AA (and it's not the game itself either). I remember my friend introducing me to his Bioshock review a couple of years ago, and I remember buying the game because of his review. Same with his review on Psyconauts and The Orange Box (although I had already planned on getting it. Dont get me wrong, his reviews are still funny (though not as funny as his past ones), they just seem to be the same ting, over and over and over again.