Zero Punctuation: Bionic Commando

[Artemus_Cain]

Has no one made a joke about Yathzee being a swinger?

Fuckit then I'll do it: Yathzee's a swinger! That's why he can't unlock that last Duke Nukem Forever achievement!

Also, am I the only one who can't taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke... and bong water?

 

[Artemus_Cain]

Okay, someone break out the spoiler tags and tell us the plot twist.

It's at the Wikipedia, and yes it's fucking retarded.

 

[Chipperz]

Also, did someone seriously write to him asking where to buy Duke Nukem Forever?! I don't want to judge but how stupid and disconnected from society can someone get?!

I know that feeling. I almost thought the game had come out too but around the part where he said the game comes on 14 DVDs it clicked in my head that he was joking.

Not the bit when he was talking about a cross between FPS, RPG and Cooking Mama, huh?

Great review, although the letter of the week made me die a little inside...

 

[Caliostro]

...Someone REALLY asked where you got Duke Nukem Forever...?

...really...?

...REALLY??


...god... /facepalm.jpeg

 

[SmoothOperator]

HELL YEAH, FUCK PEPSI!!

 

[MrPop]

Does anyone know what that ridulous plot twist that he mentioned was?

 

[pcload1etter]

Pepsi is terrible. Also... yes "Can you send me a link to where you bought it?" hahaha awesome.

John fails.

It looks like Yahtzee is picking through a lot of bad PS3 titles. Are there any good ones?

 

[ShadowSharingan]

I know! Pepsi SUCKS D<
What is your favorite kind of pop anyways? Mine's Coke X3

 

[MrPop]

Okay, someone break out the spoiler tags and tell us the plot twist.

It's at the Wikipedia, and yes it's fucking retarded.

. Yeah I just read it. "WTF" plot indeed. Made me laugh though.

 

[d_str1fe]

Lol see what i added to the end of the reception section in wikipedia page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bionic_Commando_(2009_video_game)#Reception

 

[Dimeinurear]

Did someone really mail the escapist asking where they got Duke Nukem?
Really?
Come on, own up

John Sterling is either a fictional character or he's dead

 

[The_Prophet]

Pepsi sucks. Tastes like dirty Coca Cola.

Actually it has the same taste as Coca Cola... what's it called.... Oh yeah, the taste of shit.

 

[Tmcmistress]

I wonder if that email was real. If it was then allow me to say: Ahahahah! You retard!

Sorry about that. Well, I've seen better reviews, I kinda hoped for Sims 3, he's never reviewed a Sims game, so I figured he would. Maybe next time...

One review of a Sims game, in the form of Sim City Societies, is QUITE ENOUGH. I'm fairly convinced that, rather than being games, The Sims et. al. are meant to be a giant social experiment run by the secret masters of the world, where they sit in their underground bunker going "Holy shit I can't believe they're still playing them! How can they possibly derive any enjoyment from that much micromanagement?? Why would they want to play a video game where you go to the bathroom and to work AAARGH FUCK" *POP* And so their heads will explode, and humanity will be free.

 

[The Brian J]

This is a really great review. His recent string of reviews have all been solid.

Loved the constant Loading. And I think that next week will probably by E3.

 

[Safe-Keeper]

I loved the part about how the PS3 takes an eternity to get started. I, too, have thought, many, many times, "I remember one time when you could just turn the power on and play".

 

[Beltom]

Okay, someone break out the spoiler tags and tell us the plot twist.

Drumroll...

Spoiler

I quote Wikipedia: Spencer's wife never left, but is actually part of his bionic arm. In order for bionics to work, they need to be able to sync with their host. In this case, his wife would be the perfect candidate.

 

[Undeadpope]

mehmehmeh(thats laughing with half your mouth closed)

"hookers don't wear suits of amour...expect at E3"
My quote of the week

 

[brighteye]

I LOVED the lack of comment on that letter, some things in life is just to stupid to

 

[James Cassidy]

This game had one of the worst plots I have ever read in my life.