Zero Punctuation: BioShock: Infinite

[Grach]

Yeah, I never got that. Why give away Vigors that essentially allow you to incinerate anything you touch *for free*? Bioshock 1 had a reason. Fontaine probably left them and the whole city had gone to shits.

They gave away mostly samples in the start of the game. Still, why would someone give away a vigor that makes you essentially a technomancer (in public no less) is anyones guess. Perhaps they were just so fucking looney that it just didn't bother them. Maybe it's a sort of early 1910's mentality, where it's acceptable to sell water laced with Radium. Try that today and psychopaths would cue up to have their chance to build a dirty bomb.

I've been up a lot of arses in my time, so if you're gonna be stuck up an arse, Bioshock Infinite is the best possible arse to be in.

It's hairless, soft, warm and deep. A truly memorable bum.

 

[Erttheking]

So it's ok to like the game and liking it doesn't make you not knowledgeable? Good. I mean come on, if you want to like something you should have the right to like it.

 

[tehweave]

I've been waiting for this review for a while. Thankfully, I just finished the game yesterday, so I understand everything perfectly.

Also, while I'm glad he didn't spoil anything, I could definitely tell when he was referring to certain plot twists, but honestly I would have never understood them unless I beat the game anyway.

Great review!

 

[Silk_Sk]

"Maybe they fell out of a reality rift to the convenience dimension."

Good guess, Yahtzee. That dimension would be Rapture. There are hints throughout the game that much of the technology and possibly even culture of Columbia had its roots in a portal to Rapture. The Songbird is the most obvious of these, being basically a godzilla-sized big daddy that one of the audio-logs makes clear was inspired by convenience dimension technology. Vigors are literally plasmids from Rapture re-named.

 

[Atmos Duality]

So this week, Yahtzee launches a barrage of butt related comparisons...a series of ANALogies, one might say.

I didn't play through Bioshock 1 myself until 2010, and I'm not in any hurry to play Bioshock: Infinite either.
Which isn't to say Bioshock 1 wasn't good (it's one of the best games of the "current" console generation), it's just that if I'm going to play something overtly pretentious and hyped, I prefer to wait until the hype dies down.

 

[Something Amyss]

In before someone sarcastically exclaims "Yahtzee likes a game? How can this be??" as if they're the first to do such a thing.

Or like it's the first time it's happened.

I've been up a lot of arses in my time, so if you're gonna be stuck up an arse, Bioshock Infinite is the best possible arse to be stuck in.

*opens mouth*

*closes it again*

It's like...It's like the potential number of jokes overwhelmed my brain and shut it down! I don't know what to say.

Well played, sir.

 

[romxxii]

Summary: Yahtzee likes butt stuff.

 

[NWJ94]

This really surprised me. Game was great and all, but was expecting Yahtzee do to his usual thing of just nit picking harder then ever to find things to crack jokes about and spend half the review complaining about the two weapon limitation. Game must of really hit a cord with him.

Also thank you for voicing my one major complaint with Infinite which is that the Vigors are tragically unrelated to the plot. In the first game plasmids are used to reinforce one of the central ideas, (That a risk to extremist objectivism is that people can be remarkable short sighted.) In Infinite the Vigors are just sort of there and feel more like an addition because it was a Bioshock game, rather than because they really belonged.

 

[Smertnik]

The lack of explanation regarding the existence of vigors really bugged me. Why are they there? How are they made? What's up with these salts? Why doesn't everybody use them if they're apparently freely available? Why are they freely available in the first place? And, most importantly, how do they not make any kind of impact on the society whatsoever?

The moment you get the first vigor is probably the strangest one. You have this festival or whatever and a woman is standing there with a basket full of possession vigors who is all like "Hi everyone, who wants to rob vending machines and make people commit suicide? There's enough for everybody!"

 

[Tar Palantir]

Not even a word on Elizabeth? I'm dissapoint

 

[synobal]

Okay I'm going to get this game. It seems that I have to.

 

[DarkhoIlow]

Loved the "Get Out" part.

Quite a positive review, which is well deserved. I really liked the game myself.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Okay I'm going to get this game. It seems that I have to.

That's for the best.

I had a friend who didn't buy the game, and he died of cancer.

True story.

In before someone sarcastically exclaims "Yahtzee likes a game? How can this be??" as if they're the first to do such a thing.

Or like it's the first time it's happened.

I've been up a lot of arses in my time, so if you're gonna be stuck up an arse, Bioshock Infinite is the best possible arse to be stuck in.

*opens mouth*

*closes it again*

It's like...It's like the potential number of jokes overwhelmed my brain and shut it down! I don't know what to say.

Well played, sir.

I demand a fan art of Okami sniffing Elizabeth's ass!

You assume that wouldn't be right up my alley.

 

[synobal]

Okay I'm going to get this game. It seems that I have to.

That's for the best.

I had a friend who didn't buy the game, and he died of cancer.

True story.

Did he perchance die of cancer before the game was released?

 

[R.Nevermore]

In the game it states that vigors are a very new thing. Fink observed a famous biologist (presumably suchong) through a tear and brought the technology to Columbia. This tells me that they haven't existed in Columbia long enough to become a part of the culture.

 

[scorptatious]

I'm pretty surprised Yahtzee likes the game.

Not saying I don't, in fact I really like it myself. I just sorta expected him to tear the game to pieces like he does in most of his reviews.

As for the final level. I actually liked it.

Spoiler

You get to sick Songbird on zeppelins! Friggen awesome!

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Okay I'm going to get this game. It seems that I have to.

That's for the best.

I had a friend who didn't buy the game, and he died of cancer.

True story.

Did he perchance die of cancer before the game was released?

That's irrelevant.

All I know is that he had died, and hadn't played the game.


There's no other possible explanation.

Not playing the game kills you.