Zero Punctuation: Borderlands

[Flying Dagger]

I clocked ~20 hours in then gave up... All in Single Player because i can't be arsed to get a gamespy account.
What i think should have been mentioned is "having many different and slightly variable guns =/= role playing"
You can't play a role, you pick one of four personalitys and make absolutely 0 game changing choices. Even the upgrades are fairly samey.
Though i did like the shooting parts, but any longer then 20 hours on a fps and i feel disenchanted.

 

[Jamesigh]

Yahtzee, try not review Final Fantasy XIII until AFTER I've completed it......

 

[omegatheta]

well at least this time he wasn't forced to review it by the country of New Zealand (while a rather round about joke it is still funny) otherwise absolutely FANTASTIC!

 

[EmmerikXXII]

I can't say that I am offended by this or that I even disagree. at first I thought Borderlands was great, but it turns out that it is nothing but a shooter for MMORPGers. That got old for me quickly, just about the time the second play through happened. I went back the an actual MMORPG.

Also, anyone who didn't predict that Yahtzee would despise Borderlands needs to brush up on their Zero Punctuation.

 

[foxlovingfreak]

This is why I love Zero punctuation I always enjoy seeing my favoriete games taken down a nouch and I was wondering when borderlands would get this treatmeant and I a few weeks ago I had given up hope that it would ever be reviwed. But now that it has it was deafantly worth the wait. I have to most agree about his first comment about how in multiplayer how the other players will quickly leave you behind as they head toward whatever the current objective is. This seems to always happen to me whenever I play this game in co-op with freinds or random pepople. Anyway that being said thanks agian for anohter great review and I can't wait to see what gets reviwed next week.

 

[300lb. Samoan]

Thanks for being the first person anywhere to mention how fucking awful the GUI is. The sad thing is it gets much much worse in multi-player when you have to scroll through the menu and your view of the menu separately - that statement probably doesn't even make sense to anyone who hasn't played the game but trust me, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about when you play the game and it'll piss you off.

Hey, not that you need anyone telling you how to do your job, but since you caved in to do a Borderlands review I'll go ahead and tell you that you could write a fine XP article about how Borderlands could turn its sequel into a proper triple-A title. Anyone could list the obvious stuff - fully voiced and animated characters instead of paragraphs, more varied settings, more than three different missions - but I think I speak for all of us when I make an appeal to your intimidating machismo and god-like prowess by saying that only a manly man such as yourself could satisfy our curiosity by sharing your unearthly amount of wisdom.

 

[solidstatemind]

Hysterical review. I had about the same opinion as Yahtzee (boring grind-fest; what story there is was very hackneyed, if well-voiced-- I particularly liked Tannis; and the UI was hot garbage), I'm surprised he didn't include the fact that the end boss was ridiculously easy by the time you got to it, if you had done all the side-missions and were high enough level...

Spoiler

... and it's supposed to be a monster capable of ending the universe. It should've taken me at least two attempts.

Can't wait for the unreasoning fanboys to start trying to explain to Yahtzee why he's "wrong", and frankly I'm surprised it hasn't already started.

 

[Schlagwerk]

I am now convinced that I am the only player to feel as if this game only gets worse with the amount of players added.

You and three friends are playing at level 10. You have to go to class for 45 minutes. You come back to find your friends are 15 levels higher than you.

Options:
a) Make your friends wait until you catch up, by yourself,
b) Play by yourself until you catch up,
c) Get murdered repeatedly while trying to keep up because the AI aims for you, and only you, if you are the lowest-level character with magical 100% accuracy,
d) Go play TF2.

Not that it wasn't a snooze cruise to begin with.

 

[jamescorck]

My God, he has nailed every single point of the game in less than 8 minutes. I thought he was going to leave something out, but nope, he has totally massacred the game...and it was glorious. I like Borderlands (a lot) but I agree with him: Why keep bothering him with reviewing a game that has already passed by? Poor Yahtzee, peer pressure is his biggest enemy.

Also, if anything, it will be cool to know his opinion on the DLC for the game. We don't just have 2 DLC's avaliable, but I heard a third one is on the making.

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

Hey, not that you need anyone telling you how to do your job, but since you caved in to do a Borderlands review I'll go ahead and tell you that you could write a fine XP article about how Borderlands could turn its sequel into a proper triple-A title. Anyone could list the obvious stuff - fully voiced and animated characters instead of paragraphs, more varied settings, more than three different missions - but I think I speak for all of us when I make an appeal to your intimidating machismo and god-like prowess by saying that only a manly man such as yourself could satisfy our curiosity by sharing your unearthly amount of wisdom.

Sarcasm sense... tingling.

 

[DoctorObviously]

It was about time someone bashed this terrible game! Thank you Mr. Croshaw!

 

[300lb. Samoan]

I have to most agree about his first comment about how in multiplayer how the other players will quickly leave you behind as they head toward whatever the current objective is. This seems to always happen to me whenever I play this game in co-op with freinds or random pepople.

If that happens with your friends, then your friends are dicks. I only play this split-screen or system-link and it's important that whoever is playing stay coordinated so no one gets lost and savagely butt-fucked. I haven't played with random people and I can't imagine that it would be satisfying at all.

 

[Disaster Button]

Finally one I actually laughed at in awhile.

Sounds like he loved it though.. *cough*.

 

[Summerstorm]

Hm hm... this i call an accurate review. Borderlands was incredibly boring and the story... plot... lines of script... eh, whatever it should be called were pathetic.

I cared about no character, not even my own dude. I mean what was the point of the intro? It did set you up for just disappointment after disappointment.

And the shooter-part of the game was not entertaining enough to make up for the lack of atmosphere and story.

Hm, ah well...

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I think thats his angriest review in quite a while.

I thought after his cold that he did an angry review, but this was pure liquid hatred. I don't think he's been this bad since that last batch of JRPGs.

Oh, and FF13 comes out soon...

 

[Ekonk]

Well no suprise there. It's still hilarious.

 

[Sonicron]

... Huh. And here I thought he was going to stick to his statement that he wouldn't review the game.
I haven't found myself agreeing with him on that many accounts in a good while. He covered every little thing I thought was crap about Borderlands, first and foremost how online gaming is complete bullshit as soon as you're playing with people you don't know, and in the end the only things I liked about the game were the random weapon generator and the cell-shaded graphics.

 

[highpriestdre]

I enjoyed this game a lot, but I can see where someone who likes and plays more shooters than me would be less impressed with it. The art style is what drew me to it, more than anything else. Luckily for me, the gameplay was good enough to not make my magpie like actions come back to bite me in the arse.

 

[300lb. Samoan]

Hey, not that you need anyone telling you how to do your job, but since you caved in to do a Borderlands review I'll go ahead and tell you that you could write a fine XP article about how Borderlands could turn its sequel into a proper triple-A title. Anyone could list the obvious stuff - fully voiced and animated characters instead of paragraphs, more varied settings, more than three different missions - but I think I speak for all of us when I make an appeal to your intimidating machismo and god-like prowess by saying that only a manly man such as yourself could satisfy our curiosity by sharing your unearthly amount of wisdom.

Spoiler: piderman

Sarcasm sense... tingling.

Sarcasm? Oh no, that was meant to be bald-faced pandering. Or should I say, BOLD-faced! BA-DUM TSH!

 

[esperandote]

such a shame, the game cover looks cool.