Zero Punctuation: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

SweetxVicious

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Aug 2, 2010
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Alright so I'm expecting for Yahtzee to NOT like this game...
*watches video*
Yup, not surprised. Although I do think he went a little easier on it than I expected. I missed the "Like God of War, but.." stamp, glad he brought it back. Also, is it just me or do Yahtzee's best jokes/analogies come out of irritation for fixed camera angles?
Oh and Inspector Gadget hat = awesome.
 

Zenode

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Jan 21, 2009
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i was thoroughly disturbed by some of the analogies in that video

Does anyone get the title

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
Lords: Damn cant think of anything
of: God of war
Shadow: Shadow of the Collussus

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......
 

Monday

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Oct 12, 2010
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Man I was worried there for a second that a review might not come out today.
 

The Bucket

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May 4, 2010
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Great one, never played a Castlevania game but that made me laugh. Surprised at the length of it, guess they get points for trying
 

Shameless

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Jun 28, 2010
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I disagree with Yahtzee, I liked the game, but yet again I adore both God of War and Shadow of the Colossus, if only they have been more creative with the game and had Dracula in it.
 

mazloum

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Nov 9, 2008
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That awkward pause before 'So...where do you want the 'Like God of War But' stamp?' had me in stitches! Amazing ZP, as always. :D
 

fundude365

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Dec 12, 2007
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I love the addition of an 'Available from' section in the flavour text for this review. As if its saying; "now that you've listened to this charismatic stallion make farting noises at our game and call it a tosser for five minutes, perhaps you would like to buy it?"
 

Srdjan Tanaskovic

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Oct 20, 2010
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The Bucket said:
Great one, never played a Castlevania game but that made me laugh. Surprised at the length of it, guess they get points for trying
Never played a Castlevania game? where you born 2 years ago or what?
 

Jon Shannow

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Oct 11, 2010
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I was kind of hoping for New Vegas but still it's good to have another classed as terrible which means i won't waste money buying it.
I am getting a bit pissed off by all these god of war rip-off games. What happened to games that try and bring something new to the table?
 

vanthebaron

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Sep 16, 2010
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JustaGigolo said:
I wish they would just make more handheld 2D castlevania games, instead of God of War knock offs.
you just said what everyone is thinking. damn those were fun games...and the ad's on this page are for this damned game...is that irony?
 

Aiddon_v1legacy

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Nov 19, 2009
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the second I heard that Satan was involved in the plot I knew it jumped the shark. Then I saw how they sloppily shoehorned Dracula into the narrative and that caused the shark TO HIT MARS. That is some SUPREMELY bad writing there. Also Yahtzee, the game was made by the creators of Clive Barker's Jericho, so bad game design is no surprise for them.
 

harv3034

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Sep 23, 2010
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JustaGigolo said:
I wish they would just make more handheld 2D castlevania games, instead of God of War knock offs.
They are thank God. I can't remember the name though. Harmony of Dispare I think.


Now, I can't really say that this surprises me in the slightest. When I heard that they were making another 3D Castlevania game I thought to simply ignore it untill it passed from everyone's minds. But, as soon as I heard that it was going to be made be Kojima, "my virgining powers of clairvoiance" told me that it was going to be "a knockoff piece of shit" because any time a new developer gets hold of an existing franchise the pretty much murder it (see the Other M ZP for additional proof).

Having made the above predictions, I can say that I'm actually pretty happy; not with the game but with the fact that my cinicism has served me well once again. Incadently this is another argument for the propoal that every gamer should be a cinic by now.


*Three ZP references. A cookiepoint to anyone who names all three in order of presintation*
 

Iwantcandy

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Sep 12, 2010
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ninjaman87 said:
dude what the fuck is you main problem cant you just have fun when playing games wich are the main poitn and after all the piece fucking garbitch of shadow of colossus what nothing more than a patetic waste of time and speace it had nothing interesting to do and you only fight so little this game had more of a better story.
Cool story bro.
Try to write more than one sentence the next time, though.
Anyways, liked the vid, and will probably not like the game, since konami decided to drop dracula until the end, just for fucking it even more up. I suggest that if they're gonna keep on doing stupid things they should at least make cool enemies like robomutantzombieunicorns FROM OUTER SPACE!
 

Magmabear

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Apr 1, 2009
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Never played a Castlevania game because I heard that the games sucked once it moved to 3D, so... I guess nothing has really changed.