Zero Punctuation: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

[RagnaThePig]

Actually there are two Portal references. Near the end of the game, someone talks about "Aperture" magic. So yeah.

Is Yahtzee alergic to semi-fixed camera angles ? In this one, I never had any problem with the camera. Maybe the occasional awkward angle but nothing frustrating.

The 2 DVD thing is only on Xbox, PS3 user get only one blu-ray, so no swapping for them.

Also, th first Castlevania games did not have any free roaming, they were linear games. Since this is sort of a reboot thing, I guess they were trying to go back to that kind of structure.

I do agree that Dracula thing at the end was ridiculus.

Other than that, yeah it's pretty much a God of War rip-off, but not a bad game in itself. It's much better than Dante's Inferno for one thing. The pacing is solid, the monsters are many, the scenery is very nice, and the gameplay flows nicely.

The only thing I really did not like were those colossi. Nowhere near as interesting and awesome as Shadow of the Colossus since those fight are basicaly a big pile of fucking quick time events.

 

[dennett316]

i think you should stop using the whole "like god of war...but" joke...its getting old.

I can't agree with this. If the joke is getting old it just shows you how stagnant the games industry has become in terms of the outright theft of successful formulas and the repackaging of the same damn game for the seventy squillionth time. People keep buying them though, hence the need for the joke.

 

[Silven]

Mmmeh. Meh.

The PS3 version has only one disc, which makes it a lot more bearable (take that, brother of mine!), and it appears to be slightly more easy to play.
My personal experience with the game are a bit different than what Yahtzee describes. I instantly played it on Knight difficulty, which makes it reasonably challenging. And I have to say the bosses are not bad. Much better than the GoW bosses, and I am not counting the cheap SotC-ripoffs (agreed there). And LoS has the possibility to go back to previous levels, which I believe GoW lacks.

I have to admit I was a bit too hyped for this release, and slightly let down once I got my hands on it, but I can't say it's 55 euros thrown away. It's a good game, if somewhat mediocre. Good to keep one's mind off of things for a week or so.

 

[RowdyRodimus]

How dare the developers try something new with a series that has been doing the same thing for over 20 years. Not only that, why did they have to use the tired cliche of a whip with different attacks? God of Bore created that and dammit, only they should be able to use it.

Ok, now that I have that typical Castlevania hating 13 year old type quote (which this "critique" sounded like) out of the way. I'm beginning to think that Yahtzees problem with games isn't so much as they are bad as much as he sucks at playing them. If you have trouble using the light and dark magic in this game while keeping the action going, you have a problem with dexterity or one hand. It's no wonder he loves stealth games so much, that way you can just hide or run away.

Also, wasn't the Portal reference part of Patrick Stewart's narration and not one of the journal entries?

 

[snow]

i was thoroughly disturbed by some of the analogies in that video

Does anyone get the title

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
Lords: Damn cant think of anything
of: God of war
Shadow: Shadow of the Collussus

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Lord of the rings? Lords of thunder? Either way trying to fit the title into other games it's mimicked simply because it has the word "Of" In it is silly

This all has made me want to go back and play the original castlevania... Before smacking the controller at the screen in frustration.

 

[CopperBoom]

That was pretty funny though I wholly agree this is a awful and needless game in the series.
I feel like this game only exists to be ZP-ed.
I suppose some will like it, but, eh...

Oh and when do we get our GH:WoR/RB3 combo review?

 

[Ragsnstitches]

i think you should stop using the whole "like god of war...but" joke...its getting old.

I agree, however it is still relevant

I disagree. Sure, Castlevania plays and feels a lot like God of War and every other game that supposedly "ripped of" God of War, but I don't see it that way. God of War invented (or perfected) a new genre, that is (like all other genres) defined by its gameplay.
Of course Castlevania, Dante's Inferno, Devil May Cry, God of War, Bayonetta and so on seem very similiar, but thats simply because they are all games of a certain genre.
Frankly, I'm bothered by the "like god of war but" joke (and it's not even a joke, it's actual criticism!).
So, how about a "like wolfenstein but" stamp for every shooter, or a "like Dune 2 but" stamp for every RTS?

In British comedy recurring gags are quite popular. This is for visual, verbal and textual forms of comedy alike. It doesn't get old as long as the presentation of the gag changes slightly from each use, which Yahtzee does.

A good example of this would be the Time Gentlemen Please show. But it's not exclusive to UK. Family Guy is another good example of recurring gags and even Simpsons do it.

Frankly, I thought it was still funny, so I guess it's different strokes for different folks in the end.

 

[Gamurga]

i think you should stop using the whole "like god of war...but" joke...its getting old.

I can't agree with this. If the joke is getting old it just shows you how stagnant the games industry has become in terms of the outright theft of successful formulas and the repackaging of the same damn game for the seventy squillionth time. People keep buying them though, hence the need for the joke.

No, no, no.
That's like saying that the game industry is stagnating just because they still make First Person Shooters, or RTS-Games or games of every other existing genre.
You can't just invent something completly new every time you develop another game.

 

[RowdyRodimus]

oh Btw... THE CAKE IS A LIE!! Srsly why in god's name would you feel the need to pull that in a game in 2010!?

Because retarded Valve fans still think it's the funniest joke EVER so they post it everywhere still. Buying Portal 2 is like the old forum rules in a way, don't buy it you're feeding the troll.

(and the cake was only a lie because that disgusting fatass Gabe heard there was cake and ate the damn code)

 

[gallaetha_matt]

Making a 'The Cake Is A Lie' reference is like dressing up like a black and white minstrel. If I ever see or hear about anybody doing it then I immediately cut them off. I never watch, read, listen or play them and I tell everybody that I know (my Mum and two or three other people) to do the same.

There's just no excuse for it at all. By the time I actually got around to playing Portal the joke had been so overdone by the internet that I groaned when it came up in the game.

Then, I haven't played a Castlevania game since the one for the SNES and I didn't think too much of that one either. So I probably wasn't going to be getting this game anyway.

Don't forget kids! It's not too late to write to your video game designers and web comic artists about unnessecary Portal references!

 

[Gingerman]

dude what the fuck is you main problem cant you just have fun when playing games wich are the main poitn and after all the piece fucking garbitch of shadow of colossus what nothing more than a patetic waste of time and speace it had nothing interesting to do and you only fight so little this game had more of a better story.

You really are missing the point of Yatzhee's reviews

I think that's not all he's missing, I can barely understand what he's trying to say...

 

[mitchalin7]

Left 4 Dead 2 has a Portal reference and that game's awesome.

yeah but that was by the same people who made portal

 

[arcstone]

I played the demo of this thing, and that was enough for me.

This game is so obviously commitee decined that it actually hurts.

I can imagine what the meeting went like.

(completeley monotone robot voice)
Board member one: "W e _ s h o u l d _ m a k e _ g a m e"

Board member two: "W h o _ w a s _ s u c c e s s f u l l _ g a m e"

1: "[God of War] _ w a s _ p o p u l a r _ g a m e"

2: "W e _ m a k e _ game=[God of War]"

1: "W e _ a l s o _ n e e d _ s e t t i n g"

3: "[castlevania] _ i s _ p o p u l a r _ f r a n c i s e"

1: "W e _ m a k e _ game=[castlevania]+[God of War]"

3: "N e g a t i v e" "W e _ n e e d _ m o r e"

2: "[Shadow of the Colossus] _ i s _ p o p u l a r _ g a m e _ a l s o"

3: "M a y b e _ f a c e"

1: "[Hideo Kojima] _ i s _ p o p u l a r _ f a c e"

2: "W e _ m a k e _ game=[castlevania]+[God of War]+[Shadow of the Colossus]+[Hideo Kojima]"

1: "W e _ r e c i e v e _ m o n e y"

1, 2 and 3: "H u z z a h"

 

[JaymesFogarty]

dude what the fuck is you main problem cant you just have fun when playing games wich are the main poitn and after all the piece fucking garbitch of shadow of colossus what nothing more than a patetic waste of time and speace it had nothing interesting to do and you only fight so little this game had more of a better story.

You really are missing the point of Yatzhee's reviews

Do you ever have moments on the internet where you see a mouth-frothed demon infant on the forum floor spewing alphabet soup, and you can only kneel down and pat it on the head, secretly hating yourself as you slowly draw the knife to cut it out of reality? I do; surprising often as well.

On topic, good review! This was pretty much the impression I received from the demo of the game. I'm glad I decided not to fork out the £40 for this. It makes up for the fact that I preordered The Force Unleashed 2; (oh dear me!)

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

Two things:

1. I can't fathom how anyone believes this isn't a God of War clone. That term certainly gets thrown around, but it fits this game like a fucking glove. Mythological monsters? Check. QTE finishers? Check. Chained whip weaponry? Fucking check. You'd have to be blind or stupid not to see it. If anything, this is the first time it has genuinely applied.

2. To the people who think he's overusing the "Like God of War, But" stamp: is it possible to miss the point any harder? It's meant to be an indictment of "me too" game design. The more he uses it, the funnier/sadder it gets. If you don't understand this, I'm not sure you're responding to the actual content of his criticism. You're maybe just infatuated with clever imagery or his accent.

 

[CynicalMarcus]

i think you should stop using the whole "like god of war...but" joke...its getting old.

I agree, however it is still relevant

Not really. "Somebody gets pissed and goes off to kill a bunch of mythological creatures."

Until God of War came out, that described Castlevania in a nutshell. The review was funny, but it couldn't be more wrong if it were written by Ben Kuchera.

 

[RowdyRodimus]

i think you should stop using the whole "like god of war...but" joke...its getting old.

I can't agree with this. If the joke is getting old it just shows you how stagnant the games industry has become in terms of the outright theft of successful formulas and the repackaging of the same damn game for the seventy squillionth time. People keep buying them though, hence the need for the joke.

No, no, no.
That's like saying that the game industry is stagnating just because they still make First Person Shooters, or RTS-Games or games of every other existing genre.
You can't just invent something completly new every time you develop another game.

Actually, since Castlevania came first in the 8-bit generation and used the whip God of Boredom ripped it off. If they had made GOW back then, it would've been made like Castlevania and to be honest, GOW is actually a lot like the N64 Castlevania games only with better graphics and camera. So anyone saying this is "like God of War but..." are technically wrong in a way.

 

[Wolcik]

Maybe Castlevania hit the same wall Prince of Persia hit with 3D - in this case there's future for that... I don't have hope for that.

 

[Syntax Error]

The miserable pile of secrets bit at the end is my favorite part of this video.

I just wish that Konami finally get 3d Castlevania right. I've played Curse of Darkness, and while the Familiar and Item Crafting systems were fun, they never captured the same magic I felt when I played SotN for the first time 10 years ago.