Zero Punctuation: Clive Barker's Jericho

ccesarano

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Oct 3, 2007
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Who cares who started the simon says mini-game? Really?

I must say, I was surprised to see Jericho was the choice, but I'm glad it was. That review was awesome. I played the demo, then saw on the GameTrailers review that the demo was basically all there was to the game....and decided no, I would not be playing this. I got it from GameFly and sent it back as it was.
 

FormanGreenman

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Oct 31, 2007
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Top notch work there Yahtzee - i had you pegged this week to review COD4. Your Trillby game is good too, quality game that is genuinely challenging. I sure could use a Grolly in my office here. Overtalking co-worker, Zap.

Keep up the good work.
 

Thaygar

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Nov 14, 2007
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While unlike many of my retarded inbred bretheren who post here I actually LIKE it when you review games you enjoy, it IS nice to see a game so bad it gets the Full Yahtzee.
 
Nov 14, 2007
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For some reason I don't get the video now. All I get is the Zero Punctuation logo. Any ideas?

Unfortunately I can't get to fullyramblomatic from work...I NEED MY FIX!
 

the_pearson_person

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Sep 6, 2007
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Brilliant as always!

What amuses me most, is the game was published by Codemasters - now I used to work for codemasters as a Programmer (note, the use of past tense) I quickly escaped!

Although this game wasn't developed in house by Codemasters I see their bad design decisions have creeped into the 3rd party!

Woot!


On Facebook? Join the Zero Punctuation Appreciation Society here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6725770567
 

GloatingSwine

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Nov 10, 2007
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miraitan said:
Well done yahtzee! Another hilarious review.

Hate to sound even more sad than your 'shenmue' case, but I feel a compulsion to correct THEM. It was FIRST done on Die Hard Arcade, that 3D scrolling beater of about 12 years ago.
To be really pedantic, it's really just an extension of Dragon's Lair. Except, of course, DL didn't have blatant "Press Left To Proceed", just a hint that you had to parse into a movement.

Oh how far games have come in the last twenty-five years, eh?
 

toz

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Nov 14, 2007
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Hi guys,

just a quick reply, its host, "toz", here from the podcast cranky gamers uk, (www.crankygamersuk.com),

just popping in to say, the escapist reviews are one of my weekly highlights,truly great writing and seriously funny, we put it up every time now on our home page, and i look forward to it, with the phantom hour glass, reducing me to tears for quite some considerable time, with the words "f right off" ringing in my head for days afters, bringing a retarded smile to my face every where i went for the rest of the week.

love it, keep em coming.
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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Yahtzee
Come on man what Quake didn't have in color it made up for in designs Q1,Q2 and Q3 all have great level design, good to ok weapon design and ok enemy design.

Hell Quake pawns Q4,D3 and a ton of other short sighted newer FPSs.

Malygris said:
Damn. I'd heard that Jericho was on the wrong side of good, but as something of an Undying fan - another Clive Barker game by Clive Barker that tanked - I was hoping there'd be at least enough in there to tide me over for awhile longer.

First off they went with a full gun and run theme, this thing is so hard on the rails it makes a it makes the tony hawk games look open ended adventure.

Then you have all the non FPS add in crap that is so out of place it hurts the game more.

The story is not so bad the charatcers standard FPS fair but the level design weapons enemies suck add on the crap level design lack of jumping(its automated unless you want to jump down 3 feet to some stairs or a lower level) and then tact on the mini game thing...you wonder what the devs were smoking, I don't blame Clive for this as much as the devs looking for a quick buck.

I might find Halo 3 and Bioshock lacking but this is crap for a mid/high level game, 5/10

(Q4:6/10,Halo 3:6/10,D3:4/10,BS:7/10,HL2+ep1-2:7/10)
 

Kronopticon

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Nov 7, 2007
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well done Yahtzee, another great tribute to the world of british-style cynicism.

Clive Barker's "Clive Barker's Jericho" by Clive Barker is truly an epic way to release the pent up cynical urges of a day to day man like you and I.
 

VMerken

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Sep 12, 2007
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GloatingSwine, sorry for not mentioning the 30-second QTE bit in the demo :). I barely noticed it with all the whack-a-mole-ing going on. Fortunately, Yahtzee nailed that part of the game, too. It's certainly one of the more challenging QTE types out there, but the mechanic is growing increasingly stale. Let cutscenes be cutscenes again, or something.

Garfgarog said:
Also, I kind of laugh at the people suggesting titles for Yahtzee. I remember reading something somewhere where Yahtzee stated that his reviews are either handed to him, or he strikes a deal with the editors to let him review something he wants to, and if he happens to review a game that someone suggested, it's pure coincidence. While I admit that I have a few games I'd like to hear Yahtzee's comments on, the only way I could ever see such a thing is if I decided to pay him for it.
While I understand where you're coming from, that's an intereting sense of humour :)

It's basically a choice, isn't it? Either you waste 10 seconds of your time to pitch something with a slim, yet non-zero chance of it catching on, showing those who read this thread(*) that it might be an interesting option (which may be discussed). Or, you don't. No harm done in either case.

Do you kind of laugh at people playing the lottery, too? I mean, the odds of them winning are so against them, and all. They even pay money for it. Yet, every week one of them gets filthy rich. Comedy gold.

(*): Like Yahtzee for example (unless he stopped reading these comment threads), who might have a brief "yeah, why not?" or "Hmm..." moment, then considers the option along with others and eventually decides to pull the "strike that deal where he gets to choose a title" thingy you mentioned. It doesn't necessarily have to be "pure coincidence". Or, he chooses or is given something else. Again, no harm done anywhere.
 

Pzest

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Nov 15, 2007
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Actually, the button pressing sequences (people in the know call them QTE's) in Shenmue were pretty fun most of the time, unlike other games where they just felt tacked on and pointless.

The buttons you had to press corresponded to the types of moves Ryo had to perform, and often were the exact same button sequences as were used to perform some of Ryo's most difficult combat moves.

It worked in Shenmue because during boss fights it ALWAYS felt like you were fighting your opponent, unlike other games where you beat the boss, sit back, and have a big disconnect with the game while your character lands some uber pre-rendered finishing move.
 

Shane.Z

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Sep 26, 2007
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I completely agree with this review. It's a disgrace to all things that made Undying so great. I don't know who it was that decided to make this game so poorly but I wish they get thrown into a pocket dimention of shit.
 

Mattsworkname

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Nov 15, 2007
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Jericho was a game with great concepts that plays, to paraphrase our game reviewing overlord, like a "Pile of ass and recoil". It's buggy, repetitive and confusing. It's a boring game, and yahtzee was dead on in his review.
 

3JL

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Nov 15, 2007
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Man Yahtzee. You are the most funniest person ever. I always look forward to Wednesdays just to watch your reviews, and have to say that this was the funniest review you made yet.
I had to pause the video numerous times so I could stop laughing to hear what you were saying. Every time I looked at the amount of time to see when the video ends, I would groan. Not because of anything bad but it was starting to become painful to laugh. lma- OUCH!!!!!!!!!.......................okay, I'm fine now...sorta.
Anywho I liked that Shenmue game. I thought it was very deep (though sometimes tedious at times), and had really good graphics (really nice gameplay too) for an x-box game. Also, that button pressing thing was also kinda cool. I really don't know why though.