Zero Punctuation: Clive Barker's Jericho

[ShmenonPie]

I love these reviews, but what's with all the first person shooters? I count five that you've reviewed so far. I know you don't pick your games now, so it would be nice if The Escapist would hand you games from other genres more often.

This is an accusaiton that is often made, and I can see why its made, but I'm not sure it stands up to the facts:
1) Heavenly Sword: Action/Adventure Hack & Slash
2) Psychonauts: Plataformer (I think?)
3) Bioshock: FPS
4) Tomb Raider Anniversary: Action/Adventure.
5) Manhunt: FPS
6) Peggle: Puzzle game
7) Halo 3: FPS
8) Tabula Rasa: MMORPG
9) Orange Box: FPS
10) Super Paper Mario: Plataformer
11) MOH Airborne: FPS
12) Clive Barker's Jericho by Clive Barker (Clive Barker): FPS

If I'm doing my math right, FPS's are a little under 50% of his total reviews. Granted, they are the single largest single category, but that's not really all that strange, considering that more FPS's are released than most other genres, at the moment, and he's good a healthy dose of most of the other current major active genres (action adventure..). Certainly, I'd like to see him review a strategy or RPG game, but those come out at a somewhat slower pace, so I don't exactly attribute it to a conspiracy.

Certaintly, he mixes it up a good deal.

You're right about Psychonauts being a platformer, but Manhunt's more of a 3rd person stealth affair than an FPS, so that's only 5 out of 12.

I agree that he should do an RPG and a strategy. What about Empire Earth 3, that's supposed to be really crap, and he can rip that to shreds easily. Mass Effect (in all its overrated glory) should be good as well.

 

[hickwarrior]

he said he didn't like RPGs, it seems. Well, JRPGs cause of their dullness and slog(whatever slog means).

Do you know any RPG that might be worth it then? Cause all i see are turn-based ones. Kingdom hearts comes to my mind then. and what kind of strategy?

 

[ShmenonPie]

I love these reviews, but what's with all the first person shooters? I count five that you've reviewed so far. I know you don't pick your games now, so it would be nice if The Escapist would hand you games from other genres more often.

This is an accusaiton that is often made, and I can see why its made, but I'm not sure it stands up to the facts:
1) Heavenly Sword: Action/Adventure Hack & Slash
2) Psychonauts: Plataformer (I think?)
3) Bioshock: FPS
4) Tomb Raider Anniversary: Action/Adventure.
5) Manhunt: FPS
6) Peggle: Puzzle game
7) Halo 3: FPS
8) Tabula Rasa: MMORPG
9) Orange Box: FPS
10) Super Paper Mario: Plataformer
11) MOH Airborne: FPS
12) Clive Barker's Jericho by Clive Barker (Clive Barker): FPS

If I'm doing my math right, FPS's are a little under 50% of his total reviews. Granted, they are the single largest single category, but that's not really all that strange, considering that more FPS's are released than most other genres, at the moment, and he's good a healthy dose of most of the other current major active genres (action adventure..). Certainly, I'd like to see him review a strategy or RPG game, but those come out at a somewhat slower pace, so I don't exactly attribute it to a conspiracy.

Certaintly, he mixes it up a good deal.

You missed out Zeldahantom hourglass, and "the darkness" review, accuracy is a pride that you do not pride yourself upon

Ignorance and bile.

Well, you did ask!

I doubt you even read the comments people leave, and if you do, then you should know that I'm British too, and it's mainly your accent that makes it so funny, it would be crap if an American tried to pull it off. I still can't place your accent around the country, but I'm going to take a stab and say you're a Southener?

that is a very good point, yes, he does definately sound like a southerner, and since you used that term, im going to assume your from the north, or other part of british isles, anyway, its not just the voice, its the generel british cynicism you just cant get anywhere else, "british cynicism, best in the world", anyway, yes...im also british, and as such, i crave dissapointment, which is why yahtzee plays awful games, and i eat kinder-surprise, cheap-nasty chocolate, scummy little toy, a double-barrel! of disillusionment, which is why i call them "the eggs of numbing inevitability", and i always ask for them in the third person, "Richard Smith would like the eggs of numbing inevitability", once, the guy answered back saying "how many would you like?", i said 7, and he replied "thats a whole lot of cheap and nasty chocolate", and then we both laughed, as we both know there is hardly any chocolate anyway.

Yep, I'm from Leeds, which is reasonably north. I can understand craving disappointment, but of other people, not your own? You don't have to self harm by eating the eggs of numbing inevitability, to use your amusing phrase. You need to force them upon small children that don't know any better! (And no, before you call the NSPCC, I'm not serious.) I feel wholly privileged, as I just finished off the latter half of a bar of Galaxy. Mmmm...

 

[ShmenonPie]

he said he didn't like RPGs, it seems. Well, JRPGs cause of their dullness and slog(whatever slog means).

Do you know any RPG that might be worth it then? Cause all i see are turn-based ones. Kingdom hearts comes to my mind then. and what kind of strategy?

Slog:
?noun
6. a long, tiring walk or march.
7. long, laborious work.
8. a heavy blow.
There you are.

Kingdom Hearts games are an interesting one, as I really liked them, although I accept they had flaws. Yahtzee's straying away from retrospectives and covering the latest and greatest (erm... well, worst). After it all calms down after Christmas, with the January void, I think he might do a retrospective or two, and he might have a go at FFXII.

If you're reading this, Yahtzee, I challenge you. Attack FFXII. If you dare.

 

[hickwarrior]

Well, i hope he tears down that... chain of memories beast... The deck system may never return for me and yet it will. Luckily there are emulators, but let's not discuss that.

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

he said he didn't like RPGs, it seems. Well, JRPGs cause of their dullness and slog(whatever slog means).

Do you know any RPG that might be worth it then? Cause all i see are turn-based ones. Kingdom hearts comes to my mind then. and what kind of strategy?

Slog:
?noun
6. a long, tiring walk or march.
7. long, laborious work.
8. a heavy blow.
There you are.

Kingdom Hearts games are an interesting one, as I really liked them, although I accept they had flaws. Yahtzee's straying away from retrospectives and covering the latest and greatest (erm... well, worst). After it all calms down after Christmas, with the January void, I think he might do a retrospective or two, and he might have a go at FFXII.

If you're reading this, Yahtzee, I challenge you. Attack FFXII. If you dare.

I would love for him to tear into FF12, the bland equip sets the broken skill/class system the fixed jp only international version, he needs to tear into it ad rape it hard

hickwarrior
to put it simply alot of RPGs since 01 or so are grind fests that in trems of gameplay or more repetitive and less rewarding than a mindless shooter!

Also the industry dose not have a solid writing/story/scripting localization teams whitch can add to mind bleeding.

Also I believe he hates anime as well since its too off the wall or stupid for him,I am the opposite I loath hollywood for being, oh hell heres my quotes on holywood.

"Hollywood:Elitist inbred drug addicts who are not happy in their own world recreating fiction so that it fits in the world of the norm and mundane......:ZippyDSM"

"When you change more than half of the fiction you are destroying what it is you seek to create.:ZipyDSMlee"

"I'll take my fiction unedited please!:ZipyDSMlee"


Anime and JRPGs can be over the top but I prefer fiction(and gameplay) unbound rather than mundane and realistic.

 

[cmdr_zoom]

So... basically it's Clive Barker's HOUSE OF THE DEAD?

 

[Hazelwolf]

a double-barrel![/b] of disillusionment, which is why i call them "the eggs of numbing inevitability", and i always ask for them in the third person, "Richard Smith would like the eggs of numbing inevitability", once, the guy answered back saying "how many would you like?", i said 7, and he replied "thats a whole lot of cheap and nasty chocolate", and then we both laughed, as we both know there is hardly any chocolate anyway.

A Bill Bailey fan I take it?

 

[Stoop Solo]

I was saddened to see how this game turned out. All those years ago, Clive Barker's Undying was a breath of fresh air, and a most enjoyable game, so I was pleased to see Clive Barker once again getting involved in game design.

But what a let-down. The Simon-Says-Stupid button sequence clinched it, though. When I first saw it, it just made me want the code to somehow take a human form, so it could be punched in the face. Perhaps it's the fact that every game made now has to be ported to every damn thing with a CPU in it.

 

[nianoniano]

the review was fun, but this game is not one of the over-hyped crap that we use to see lately, its a modest title with its flaws, but its fun to play it with a good story and characters

harsh reviews are funnier when they are directed at games that every stupid review gave it a 10 when the truth is that are pure crap, example: Bioshock, Halo 3, or Hellgate: London (this one is just too bad to have 10s, but it has fairly good marks because of being rleased by the Diablo 2 dudes)

 

[Heroic One]

I've only heard of this game in his reviews...

 

[drunken_munki]

I've only heard of this game in his reviews...

Exactly.

 

[Arbre]

the review was fun, but this game is not one of the over-hyped crap that we use to see lately, its a modest title with its flaws, but its fun to play it with a good story and characters

harsh reviews are funnier when they are directed at games that every stupid review gave it a 10 when the truth is that are pure crap, example: Bioshock, Halo 3, or Hellgate: London (this one is just too bad to have 10s, but it has fairly good marks because of being rleased by the Diablo 2 dudes)

Huh, I can understand that you may put a 6 or a 7 on games that got 10s all the way, but going down to the point of saying that Bioshock and Halo 3 are crap does not sound that credible either.
Of course, if you have gripes against the FPS genre, that is your right. But that means your opinion won't be relevant. A score usually means something if a game's weighed by those who actually fancy the genre it belongs to.

 

[sshplur]

Have to agree with the people saying "Yahtzee's back" or similar, Yahtzee. Your Halo 3 to the Phantom Hourglass review were pretty dry compared to all of your previous reviews. Looking forward to the next one.

 

[nianoniano]

the review was fun, but this game is not one of the over-hyped crap that we use to see lately, its a modest title with its flaws, but its fun to play it with a good story and characters

harsh reviews are funnier when they are directed at games that every stupid review gave it a 10 when the truth is that are pure crap, example: Bioshock, Halo 3, or Hellgate: London (this one is just too bad to have 10s, but it has fairly good marks because of being rleased by the Diablo 2 dudes)

Huh, I can understand that you may put a 6 or a 7 on games that got 10s all the way, but going down to the point of saying that Bioshock and Halo 3 are crap does not sound that credible either.
Of course, if you have gripes against the FPS genre, that is your right. But that means your opinion won't be relevant. A score usually means something if a game's weighed by those who actually fancy the genre it belongs to.

is not like they are total crap, but they stil dont deserve their 10s, and only the fact that you can't stop hearing about them everywhere makes me want to bash them, thats why I find funnier when Yahtzee reviews those games, I almost never hear anything about Zelda, Jericho or Mario, so, its not like those games are annoying me like Bioshock or Halo 3 do

 

[Bodo_Fraggins]

you know Yahtzee mentioned the God of War button bash thing, then said it should be Shenmue, well didnt Die Hard Arcade do it before that?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Hard_Arcade

I mean i really dont care that much myself, but if people think that Shenmue was first, are they not wrong? then again not many people may have played Die Hard Arcade....

 

[Fireandice]

as always a brilliant display of hatred. loved it.

assassins creed would probably be ripe for review

 

[Arbre]

I'd like to have Yahtzee tackle other things than games.

 

[L4Y Duke]

Hey Yahtzee, if you need some more games to trash, you could always review Crash: Twinsanity or some other putrid excuse for a video game.

 

[Shadow Link]

I'd love to hear a review by Yahtzee on Assassins Creed or Mass Effect because this one was brilliant!