Zero Punctuation: Crysis 3

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

Crysis 3

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Crysis 3.

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[PhiMed]

I'm curious as to the human pie capacity. What's the result of your research, Yahtzee?

 

[Ken_J]

I can't wait until someone tells him ReVengence was about 6 hours

 

[Okysho]

I think we just found a new voice for infomercials. "Try new bow and arrow" you say?! "I'll take 20!!"

Also captcha: tea with jam. Bloimy!

 

[Roggen Bread]

You just made me feel better about not having a PC powerful enough to play it.
Thank you.

 

[04whim]

Well, I had a feeling this might blow a while back and that it might as well just be locked away. I suppose you could say I prophesied it winding up in Alcatraz.

 

[Astraleora]

Can't wait until next weeks "Revengence" slaughter, with its made up words and stupid/vaguely racist 'Mexican' poncho disguises its ripe for a beating

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

I've never even played a Crysis game. Sounds like maybe that was a good choice.

 

[vallorn]

But Crysis 3 has so many Emotions! It must be a superior game to those without such wonderful graph-Imeanemotions!

 

[Triaed]

I'm curious as to the human pie capacity. What's the result of your research, Yahtzee?

3.141592 to 1?

 

[SlightlyEvil]

Is this psycho the same guy that Yahtzee referred to in the end credits of his Crysis 1 review?

I quote:

"I do appreciate Crysis for having a British character who never dies, turns evil, or expresses a love of crumpets".

I would assume so, given that Crysis 1 doesn't have any other Brits.

 

[LordLundar]

Sounds about right for a Crytek game. Shallow, confusing storyline and an almost insane focus on a single gimmick and graphical fidelity.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

I can't wait until someone tells him ReVengence was about 6 hours

Yeah, i was thinking that too. Took me about 8 hours on Hard, and i even got some trophy hunting into it.

OT: Seems like my idea that the entire Crysis franchise was worth a miss holds true even by the third game. I find it interesting they'd make their main character essentially evil though. Makes me wonder how they expect you to form any sort of emotional bond with the character if he goes from being a vulnerable-half dead guy in Crysis 2 to a super-soldier asshole in Crysis 3.

 

[Mylinkay Asdara]

I can't wait until someone tells him ReVengence was about 6 hours

Yeah, i was thinking that too. Took me about 8 hours on Hard, and i even got some trophy hunting into it.

OT: Seems like my idea that the entire Crysis franchise was worth a miss holds true even by the third game. I find it interesting they'd make their main character essentially evil though. Makes me wonder how they expect you to form any sort of emotional bond with the character if he goes from being a vulnerable-half dead guy in Crysis 2 to a super-soldier asshole in Crysis 3.

I have a theory that we won't be seeing a lot of multi-series consistent protagonists that we can really get immensely attached to after the whole ME3 debacle. Not that I wasn't totally on board with the "Take Back ME3 (or at least give us a flipping epilog you bastards)" movement, but I do think the fallout from that has yet to be fully unfolded. Changing up the protagonist so we don't get too possessive of them as "ours" seems to be on the rise, and I think there's probably some logic behind that. Not loving it myself, but I recognize the logic from the developer / producer point of view.

 

[Slash2x]

I completely agree with all of the points he made, especially the note about being so damn lazy you can not cover up the poorly done expansion pack for full game price, you do not bother to CHANGE THE DAMN XBOX PICTURE!

Only point... Arrows do more damage. They are larger and often make a hole so big it is easy to bleed out quickly. The real issue is distance, and rate of fire... Something a cloak solves.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

Sorry Prophet, I'm sitting pretty under the Rook Islands' sunlight and can wander its viridian hills with a machete and a compound bow that doesn't look ridiculously over-designed.

Plus, y'know, FarCry 3 might not have the deepest story ever, but at least it isn't the one going for the "Aliens are Evil!" grab-bag.

You'd figure Crytek could hire a decent scriptwriter, but no. Blah blah, nanosuit, blah blah, Ceph, blah blah, integration, blah blah prophecy, blah.

There's about zero player agency in there.

 

[Reeve]

But Crysis 3 has so many Emotions! It must be a superior game to those without such wonderful graph-Imeanemotions!

This made me laugh, well done. Well done

 

[kailus13]

Having never actually played a Crysis game before, all I can really ask is "Whats your favourite flavour of pie Yahtzee?"