Zero Punctuation: Crysis

[iXaarii]

I'm really reeaaaly torn on this one:
- on one side i'm very dissapointed as I was hoping you'd bash Crysis, you being the one games-are-art hippie I saw out there as a ray of hope
- but then again should i not have given up on PC gaming and had a rig from the future I have to be honest I might be tempted to the shallow "it are pretty!" side too...

 

[whoopie]

crysis would be alright to play...if it wasn't a ***** to run

 

[Viper753]

Spot on review as always. Brilliant humor, amazing analogies, and laugh-out-loud references (+5 for Shawshank) all around.

That being said, people seem to think that a PC capable of playing Crysis with all the sparkley effects turned on will cost them their first born. I just finished the game on high/very high settings @ 1680x1050 on a PC that cost less than $800.

 

[XaVierDK]

I don't know why people complain about not having any ammo when you go into the space-ship... It's lying around in droves at the entrance after you kill the last koreans...
And there are caches of it inside as well, as the aliens apparently like collecting things from the outside (funny, considering that they have technology far supirior to our own, that they would start collecting car-tyres)...
And if you have trouble with the NK elites, just use either the Gauss-Rifle (will take them down in two shots) or incendiary rounds (a good salvo will take them down as well)...

My favorite part of the game is still the one at the harbor, before you go into the tank-section... Lots of fun to find there, and you're not just running lone-wolf in the jungle...

 

[kallenator]

I don't know why people complain about not having any ammo when you go into the space-ship... It's lying around in droves at the entrance after you kill the last koreans...
And there are caches of it inside as well, as the aliens apparently like collecting things from the outside (funny, considering that they have technology far supirior to our own, that they would start collecting car-tyres)...
And if you have trouble with the NK elites, just use either the Gauss-Rifle (will take them down in two shots) or incendiary rounds (a good salvo will take them down as well)...

My favorite part of the game is still the one at the harbor, before you go into the tank-section... Lots of fun to find there, and you're not just running lone-wolf in the jungle...

Not to mention that you can punch the aliens to death!

 

[TheHound]

blah

I don't hate Crysis because it's pretty.
I don't hate Crysis because it's slightly unrealistic with various bits and pieces.
I don't hate Crysis because it has high system requirements.
I don't hate Crysis because of the alien spaceship business.

I hate Crysis because the *actual gameplay itself* sucks a steaming pile of fresh poo.

Just putting that out there, because there seems to be some confusion.

Does anyone who hates the gameplay care to elaborate why exactly? Almost sounds like a lot of people that hate FPS bought this game then were surprised they didnt like it. I really dont get how an FPS fan could buy this FPS and of all things complain about the gameplay. Its like an RTS fan saying they hate Rome:Total War, and then not elaborating. It dont make a lot of sense.

 

[Chalee]

Yes and saying 'the actual gameplay itself' sucks is a statement which definitely needs elaboration, in view of the fact that crysis is a game of two halves (well four fifths and a fifth sort of) each of which plays very differently. You can hate either the first part - action bubble shooter thing, or the second part - heavily scripted shooter thing.. You can't quite hate both!

 

[jimbobzeway]

I have to confess, I am hopelessly addicted to Zero Punctuation.
The series is a true original.

I would be greatly humbled if you would consider to share your opinion on the following games:

Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures
Pirates of the Burning Sea
Unreal Tournament 3
Gears of War (PC)
Call of Duty 4
Starcraft 2
Spore

Awaiting your next piece,
Jim

 

[TheHound]

I have to confess, I am hopelessly addicted to Zero Punctuation.
The series is a true original.

I would be greatly humbled if you would consider to share your opinion on the following games:

Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures
Pirates of the Burning Sea
Unreal Tournament 3
Gears of War (PC)
Call of Duty 4
Starcraft 2
Spore

Awaiting your next piece,
Jim

Jim your a ballsack.

 

[Zephyr618]

i can solve a rubix cube with my elbows

 

[The One Froh Man]

i can solve a rubix cube with my elbows

Yahtzee´s lil´men don´t even HAVE elbows <.<

"Annoyance and failure" is totally priceless, love the completely unrelated cat pics.

 

[BlueMage]

This is ridiculous. You don't need a supercomputer to run Crysis on Very High settings at 1680*1050. I'm running it on a Vista machine, QX6700, 2GB (yes, only 2GB) RAM, and a single 8800GTX. I have all settings on Very High (with the exception of sound) and funnily enough, I've got a very pretty, very playable game. Granted, Australian PC prices are ridiculous compared to US prices (US folks have NO RIGHT to ***** about their prices) but 3500AUD is still fairly cheap for gaming machine.

That said, I found the Hard difficulty to be in some ways more difficult than Delta. Probably because in Hard I'd use tactics I would never dream of using in Delta (can you say full frontal assault?) but the VTOL section wasn't as terrible as most are making out. Yes, it's slow to respond - you're in a troop transport, not a fighter craft, and it's not intended to take on aerial opponents (that's why you have fighter support for troop drops).

Seems a lot of the bitching and complaining about Crysis is of the sort that is best summed up with how a parent tells a child they can't have something:

Parent: You can't have this.
Child: FINE! I DIDN'T WANT IT ANYWAY~!

Also, there's nothing quite like grabbing a Korean by the neck, tossing him into the air, and peppering his ragdolling body with bullets as he falls back to earth. How many games let you do that?

 

[[HD]Rob Inglis]

He didn't inherit his massive balls.
God I fell out of my seat laughing at that one.

Is sound actually difficult to render or something?

 

[FoX_HunteR]

good games: ut3, cod4(online only), nfs-ps...

im not a big fan of crysis...
or farcry... iv never liked the whole one man army against an entire race kinda thing...
tho red faction was an exception minus the alien race...

i really liked crysis, tho my cheapy $280 pc plays it reasonably well...
and thats at 1024x768 (moniter wont go higher)
and with medium gfx which, isnt all that bad...

 

[Botond]

Also, there's nothing quite like grabbing a Korean by the neck, tossing him into the air, and peppering his ragdolling body with bullets as he falls back to earth. How many games let you do that?

Erm...perhaps Half-Life 2 released almost four years ago? (If you change Korean to Combine Soldier)

 

[Chalee]

Also, there's nothing quite like grabbing a Korean by the neck, tossing him into the air, and peppering his ragdolling body with bullets as he falls back to earth. How many games let you do that?

Erm...perhaps Half-Life 2 released almost four years ago? (If you change Korean to Combine Soldier)

So that makes one game other than crysis

 

[ser710]

lol when i love it when he mentioned "i guess this is why pc nerds get big pc erections"

 

[D64nz]

I think the super computer is needed to run Vista. Hence I stuck with XP on my new rig. In small writing on the back there are two specs, XP and Vista.

Cpu : Xp 2.0 or faster/ Vista 3.2 or faster
Ram: XP 1Gb / Vista 1.5 Gb
and so on.
I paid about $NZ2700 for my new system and a lot of that was on the 22 inch wide screen, and run it without any hassle at max detail 1650 x Whatever res. And I'd be suprised if the very high features add much more to the gameplay but I'll never know unless I one day get Vista.

Though I agree with pretty much everything else, a slightly above average fps. And if they haven't patched it yet, then it probably still has a very glitchy muiltiplayer as well. Blowing up in your AA tank on maps with FF on, just because you had the nerve to fire the main cannons is only funny the first time.

At the end of the day I clocked single player twice, so it can't be all bad, though I've since moved on to Hellgate: London and with that went my social life. o.0

This is ridiculous. You don't need a supercomputer to run Crysis on Very High settings at 1680*1050. I'm running it on a Vista machine, QX6700, 2GB (yes, only 2GB) RAM, and a single 8800GTX. I have all settings on Very High (with the exception of sound) and funnily enough, I've got a very pretty, very playable game. Granted, Australian PC prices are ridiculous compared to US prices (US folks have NO RIGHT to ***** about their prices) but 3500AUD is still fairly cheap for gaming machine.

That said, I found the Hard difficulty to be in some ways more difficult than Delta. Probably because in Hard I'd use tactics I would never dream of using in Delta (can you say full frontal assault?) but the VTOL section wasn't as terrible as most are making out. Yes, it's slow to respond - you're in a troop transport, not a fighter craft, and it's not intended to take on aerial opponents (that's why you have fighter support for troop drops).

Seems a lot of the bitching and complaining about Crysis is of the sort that is best summed up with how a parent tells a child they can't have something:

Parent: You can't have this.
Child: FINE! I DIDN'T WANT IT ANYWAY~!

Also, there's nothing quite like grabbing a Korean by the neck, tossing him into the air, and peppering his ragdolling body with bullets as he falls back to earth. How many games let you do that?

 

[tiggereuan]

I just had to register after watching that review for the first time to say this:


BLOODY AWESOME SONG AT THE END!!!


*rocks out to gaybar*