Zero Punctuation: Dark

Zeles

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Oct 3, 2009
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Daystar Clarion said:
You mentioned Vampire the Masquerade.

As per the rules of the internet, I must now post this image.



Not me though.

No.

I already have it installed :D
Oh man. I WOULD install it again, but then I'd have to find the patch again...

.>
Stop tempting me!
 
Dec 14, 2009
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Zeles said:
You mean this patch? [http://www.atomicgamer.com/files/103671/vampire-the-masquerade-bloodlines-patch-8-6-unofficial]

Now go forth! Go forth and create Malkavians like everyone else does because they're the most fun to play!
 

Roman Monaghan

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Nov 20, 2010
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I just wanna say I love his quick visual representation of the Vampire Rules in Vampire Masquerade. Some Bela Lugosi mother fucker holding a gun under his chin and laughing sums it up perfectly.
 

Steve the Pocket

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Mar 30, 2009
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I'm getting the impression that Yahtzee liked Vampire: the Masquerade: Bloodlines.

>TELL ME MORE ABOUT VAMPIRE: THE MASQUERADE: BLOODLINES

All I knew about it was that it was the first game to license the Source engine. And that Valve's insistance that the release be delayed until after Half-Life 2 had come out, which itself was delayed a full year, led the developer to go bankrupt. Probably the only time a developer working with Activision has managed to be screwed over by someone other than Activision.
 

Flaery

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Dec 23, 2012
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Daystar Clarion said:
You mentioned Vampire the Masquerade.

As per the rules of the internet, I must now post this image.



Not me though.

No.

I already have it installed :D
I was just thinking about doing that...

I really like it when Yahtzee manages to be funny enough to seriously me laugh out loud, and not just occasionally snort or breathe loudly out my nose.
 

gjkbgt

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May 5, 2013
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O'm totally going to do that talk to someone at a party like i'm a video game protagonist
"Tell me more about red stripe"
 

tdylan

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Jun 17, 2011
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I was going to say "i loved the ending of this video," but I worry that doing so would imply that I enjoy fellating opaque phalli.
 

grumpymooselion

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May 5, 2011
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It's a bit sad, really, because if they'd really been into Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines, and done what it did well, while improving on what VtM:B did poorly . . . I would have bought it up right away. I'd love to have a game made by someone that really liked VtM:B, and really put some effort into it. For all the bugs and flaws, VtM:B was a game a couldn't help but love. Dark, on the other hand, sounds like a game I can't help but avoid at all costs.
 

Eomega123

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Jan 4, 2011
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For anyone who has not yet been convinced to re-download/buy VtM:B, I would just like to remind/inform you that it contains:

A mission in which you fight a ninja stripper vampire hunter.
A boss who fights you by whacking you with his own severed arm.
The Malchavian, whose story is completely incomprehensible if it's your first playthrough, but is the most clever, hilarious, and logical character in the whole game if you already understand the story.

Just, you know, get the patch. Cause you kind of need that.
 

tardcore

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Jan 15, 2011
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The only sad thing about this hilarious review is that watching it will be about the only entertainment anyone will get from this complete herpes encrusted bumhole of a game.
 

masticina

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Jan 19, 2011
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That this game exists lead me to play VtM:B again, did you know it also has a "final nights" mod where you can play outsider clans. It is a delight!

But yes this game "dark" really only seems to exist to show you that there are better games. Better stealth games ,better vampire games .. in overal better games. Dark isn't the worst game sure but it is so inept at times :! That and its vampire powers are weak, seriously weak! You are a vampire, a bad ass and guess what even normal guards can shoot you to hell. Ahum, at least in VtM:B you could pounce them and suck them dry. Or make them insane, ah the joy. Hehehe!

Daystar Clarion said:
Zeles said:
You mean this patch? [http://www.atomicgamer.com/files/103671/vampire-the-masquerade-bloodlines-patch-8-6-unofficial]

Now go forth! Go forth and create Malkavians like everyone else does because they're the most fun to play!
Not in a first play through though play something else. Your virgin play of VtM:B should not be malkavian they are to awesome for that. After that come back to malkavians and giggle in utter delight.

Yes back to Dark. Eh, neither a good stealth title nor a good vampire title. What does that leaves you with?
 

DarkhoIlow

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Dec 31, 2009
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So it's a stripped down wannabe VTMB game, should of expected as much.

Thanks for another good laugh Yahtzee.
 

Joriss

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Dec 27, 2011
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Hilarious episode this one. I'm gonna try out that gameplay-talk-thingy at the next party...will probably make me seen even more weirder then I already am...
 

Imp_Emissary

Mages Rule, and Dragons Fly!
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May 2, 2011
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luvd1 said:
Wow, you are having to sail the waves of shitstorm terribleness of late. Is this your punishment for making a lot of Last of Us fans cry? The gods are a petty and vindictive bunch.
Actually, I think Yahtzee is just trying to make us feel better about his not so very positive review of The Last of Us.

Hell, that's pretty much what he said last time.
"I know you all are sad I didn't like that one game as much as you did. In truth, it wasn't SO very bad.
Come here. :) Help me kill these much worse games."
 

Barciad

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Apr 23, 2008
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Yet, as bad as it is, it seems that it will still only be 3rd worst game of the year. Aliens: Colonial Marines and Ride to Hell: Retribution have seen to that. Yet the question remains, who will get the no.1 spot?
 

Alcom1

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Jun 19, 2013
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I wonder why Yahtzee had Bioshock 2 under the 'B' instead of Bioshock, he's already expressed a strong desire to neglect its existence.