Zero Punctuation: Dark

[Rot Krieg]

Great damn video, Yahtzee. I laughed my ass off.

 

[Defeated Detective]

You just took the Deus Ex meme and changed it to Bloodlines. I do agree that there's a certain similarity between them. I love both of them very much.

What? This meme shares it with Deus Ex because a lot of people consider VtmB as the REAL spiritual successor of Deus Ex. Clearly you must be new.

 

[Zombie_Moogle]

Was that a 50 Shades of Green reference?

Why Yahtzee, I had no idea our taste were so similar. If I'm ever in Australia, I'll be sure to have a few drinks & a chat with you in the Mana Bar

 

[orangeapples]

TELL ME MORE ABOUT PALADINS!

 

[PotatoeMan]

You mentioned Vampire the Masquerade.

As per the rules of the internet, I must now post this image.

Not me though.

No.

I already have it installed

*sigh* Why can't someone just remake this. I'm not convinced that the MMO will be anything other than a run of the mill grindfest.

 

[Miroluck]

..."nice" vampires. Nice in a sense that they wantonly drink blood from living humans, but "we're really thirsty, guys!"

Another comparison to Vampire: tMBL: there is no nice vampires - there's a few that look decent, but eventually it's revealed that everyone is pushing their own agenda one way or another.
Also, "humane" blood-drinking is practiced entirely out of desire to not go insane, which is itself tied up with upholding the secrecy and not because of pity to "blood-bags".

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

Well done. I enjoyed the song in the trailer but that was about all- the rest sounded rather cliched even by gaming's standards. Eric Bane sounded like he was doing a bad Max Payne impression in the opening narration. I thought at least they might give him the nickname of 'Eric the Red' (because vampire), but no.

You may also be right about this being the end result in the quest for cool one-word names that might make people forgive bad gameplay but end up sounding incredibly general. Upcoming releases to look for:

Final (Fantasy)
Kombat (Mortal)
Duty (Call of)
Elder (Scrolls)

Stick to Perfect Dark instead.

 

[Doom972]

You just took the Deus Ex meme and changed it to Bloodlines. I do agree that there's a certain similarity between them. I love both of them very much.

What? This meme shares it with Deus Ex because a lot of people consider VtmB as the REAL spiritual successor of Deus Ex. Clearly you must be new.

Deus Ex fan since 2002 and of VtMB since release day, so no. I've been an active member of the Planet Deus Ex community until most of the regulars left due to inactivity. I remember many people calling it Deus Ex with vampires, but not a spiritual successor.

It doesn't have that deep level of storytelling or the freedom of choice that Deus Ex provides, so I wouldn't call it a spiritual successor.

 

[KOMega]

Talking to people like a video game character would be funny though.

>Tell me more about the weather.
>Tell me more about your dog.
>Tell me more about what I know what you mean.
>I am done talking about your dog weather.
> >You fight like a cow.

 

[Rhatar Khurin]

Thanks a ton Yahtzee!

I was happily watching whilst eating a sausage roll, then the words "..BUTTHOLE FULL OF CUM!" made me inhale aforementioned savory snack which nearly caused my untimely demise.

Also that game looked awful.

 

[Evonisia]

I liked this review, shame/joy that the game turned out to be crap.

Thankfully I never liked Eclairs, the white mushy cream inside them already put me off with it's cold, dark stickiness anyway.

 

[sid]

here's hoping he'll review Shadowrun next week. I'm pretty sure it's the first title in the upcoming tsunami of isometric goodness(Project Eternity, Wasteland 2, Numenara, etc etc) and it's the only game that I've been looking forward to this whole summer.

OT: I literally died when Yahtzee mentioned loud killing with range is the exact definition of guns

 

[CyberMachinist]

Great now i want to play VtMB, where can i find a copy?

OT: It's never fun playing a broken vampire unless it's against other broken vampires in some arena match, but yes this game doesn't sound very fun, what ever happened to vampires that had fun powers that could be used for things other than killing like turning into a bat.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

I would love to see Yahtzee review Bloodlines now. Retro reviews are more fun to me. Shitty games come as a close second.

 

[themilo504]

Another fantastic episode, you are at your best when you are reviewing something awful.

aren?t most stealth games about trial and error? That or hiding under\behind objects trying to figure out the guards patrol route?

For anyone who has not yet been convinced to re-download/buy VtM:B, I would just like to remind/inform you that it contains:

A mission in which you fight a ninja stripper vampire hunter.
A boss who fights you by whacking you with his own severed arm.
The Malchavian, whose story is completely incomprehensible if it's your first playthrough, but is the most clever, hilarious, and logical character in the whole game if you already understand the story.

Just, you know, get the patch. Cause you kind of need that.

It seems nice unfortunately I dislike vampires and I dislike stories that use the masquerade trope, and the game has both of these things in its title so it probably isn?t for me.

 

[shrekfan246]

Hey Yahtzee
If you're reading this, how about you do one of them indie game roundup reviews you occasionally do. Would be a welcome change of pace from all these shitty AAA titles coming out these days.

Dark wasn't AAA.

Neither was Ride to Hell.

Their status as "indie" is determined entirely by whether you think indie games have to be self-published or not.

OT: Yeah, I was intrigued by this in the weeks leading up to its release, and then to no real surprise it ended up being a disappointing, overpriced pile of buggy, boring, nonsensical game mechanics and writing with the one plus (the art style) being let down by boring level and world design.

Or at least, that's what I've gathered from watching and reading everything about it once the reviews and videos started coming out. Definitely doesn't sound worth the price of admission to me.

 

[Miroluck]

Great now i want to play VtMB, where can i find a copy?

It's on Steam. Although Steam version have some really crappy textures for some reason .

OT: Wow, power upgrade system in this game is incredibly unbalanced. Also, "dessert trolley" metaphor made me lol.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

So the game is shit then? Expected as much. I would love to see a new World of Darkness Game (not the MMO.) I love Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines: Hooray for Colons and World of Darkness at large. Even if when I played Bloodlines a few months ago I encountered a game breaking bug and had to stop playing. Oh well, I can play it again in future, hopefully it won't break this time.

Also, Toreador Anarch is where it's at.

Great now i want to play VtMB, where can i find a copy?

It's on Steam. Although Steam version have some really crappy textures for some reason .

That's not just the Steam version. I got a physical disk off Amazon and it was like that. The unoffical patch [http://www.patches-scrolls.com/vampire_bloodlines.php] fixed it though. However I still encountered a game breaking bug later on.

 

[Mullahgrrl]

I much prefer games beginning with 'P', they are usually good.

 

[Noswad]

Well that Dark game looks like bollocks but he's sold me on this bloodlines lark. Been going through a bit of a Buffy obsession, so a vampire game, why the hell not?