Zero Punctuation: Dark

[shrekfan246]

Hey Yahtzee
If you're reading this, how about you do one of them indie game roundup reviews you occasionally do. Would be a welcome change of pace from all these shitty AAA titles coming out these days.

Dark wasn't AAA.

Neither was Ride to Hell.

Their status as "indie" is determined entirely by whether you think indie games have to be self-published or not.

OT: Yeah, I was intrigued by this in the weeks leading up to its release, and then to no real surprise it ended up being a disappointing, overpriced pile of buggy, boring, nonsensical game mechanics and writing with the one plus (the art style) being let down by boring level and world design.

Or at least, that's what I've gathered from watching and reading everything about it once the reviews and videos started coming out. Definitely doesn't sound worth the price of admission to me.

 

[Miroluck]

Great now i want to play VtMB, where can i find a copy?

It's on Steam. Although Steam version have some really crappy textures for some reason .

OT: Wow, power upgrade system in this game is incredibly unbalanced. Also, "dessert trolley" metaphor made me lol.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

So the game is shit then? Expected as much. I would love to see a new World of Darkness Game (not the MMO.) I love Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines: Hooray for Colons and World of Darkness at large. Even if when I played Bloodlines a few months ago I encountered a game breaking bug and had to stop playing. Oh well, I can play it again in future, hopefully it won't break this time.

Also, Toreador Anarch is where it's at.

Great now i want to play VtMB, where can i find a copy?

It's on Steam. Although Steam version have some really crappy textures for some reason .

That's not just the Steam version. I got a physical disk off Amazon and it was like that. The unoffical patch [http://www.patches-scrolls.com/vampire_bloodlines.php] fixed it though. However I still encountered a game breaking bug later on.

 

[Mullahgrrl]

I much prefer games beginning with 'P', they are usually good.

 

[Noswad]

Well that Dark game looks like bollocks but he's sold me on this bloodlines lark. Been going through a bit of a Buffy obsession, so a vampire game, why the hell not?

 

[The Great JT]

If Dark is a vampire game, it must be one of those thin-bloods...clearly Gehenna is upon us. And no, I will not stop making VTM references.

Also, this is solely my opinion, but the boss fights in VTM:B weren't that bad. I mean, yeah once I beat the final boss by hitting the bullet time power (Celerity, I think) and unloading an entire clip of Steyr-AUG rounds into it, killing with just that one clip (because Firearms 10 means More Dakka) but I'll admit I had problems with Ming-Xiao and the Blood Man.

 

[Something Amyss]

Switches in gaming culture can't get much dimmer, Yahtzee old chap.

Much like gaming culture in general.

(Just to clarify, I'm talking about the overall tendency to aim for the lowest common denominator, not calling everyone idiots.)

 

[Spacehouse]

everyone who watches this video has no excuse for not playing VTM: Bloodlines within the next week.

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

For the record Goth with a personal trainer sounds like an outstanding premise.

Also for the record, Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines is a god amongst games. Literally: it was released around the same time as Half Life 2 and the fan base has been updating the patch ever since. New versions are still periodically released. It's like another Rocky Horror.

238U

 

[head desk tricycle]

I just have to say, this video has some elite class Yahtzeeing on display.

 

[Darth_Payn]

Is this the last Zero Punctuation? I don't see Zero Punctuation under the videos tab anymore.

What are you talking about? Zero Punctuation is still under the Videos section.

 

[Jburton9]

Good post Yahtzee, had some great laughs. I wish the game was even half as good as Bloodlines as I might be willing to drag through a bad game for that reason alone. What a bummer that Dark turned out so badly, I *almost* spent time on it but I am glad I skipped it as the forced cover mechanic would be too frustrating.

I keep waiting for Bloodlines to get the gog release but no luck so far... hmm I know I have the disks laying around here somewhere.

Oh for those installers out there, don't forget the cheat code "money" - the developers definitely had a sense of humor that is for sure : )

 

[Darth_Payn]

I would love to see Yahtzee review Bloodlines now. Retro reviews are more fun to me. Shitty games come as a close second.

Oh yeah, Yahtzee could do that to get the bad taste of Dark out of his mouth, since the latter is so obviously trying to ape the former. Also, I never got into the whole vampire craze back when that game first premiered, so I'd like to see what all the fuss was about. But then, next week is officially August, so we might get another XBOX Live Arcade Double feature.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

YAHTZEE, TELL US MORE ABOUT VAMPIRE: THE MASQUERADE - BLOODLINES

No seriously, I'd love a retro-review of that game.

You mentioned Vampire the Masquerade.

As per the rules of the internet, I must now post this image.

Not me though.

No.

I already have it installed

Unfortunately, every time I install (It's been 4+ times) I'm unable to get it to work. I'm also still using the same crappy PC from ten years ago, that I played through the game with.

It either crashes upon startup, or crashes upon talking to Jack in the tutorial.

 

[arcticphoenix95]

I would love to see Yahtzee review Bloodlines now. Retro reviews are more fun to me. Shitty games come as a close second.

Oh yeah, Yahtzee could do that to get the bad taste of Dark out of his mouth, since the latter is so obviously trying to ape the former. Also, I never got into the whole vampire craze back when that game first premiered, so I'd like to see what all the fuss was about. But then, next week is officially August, so we might get another XBOX Live Arcade Double feature.

That or another steam roundup. OT: Am I the only person who thinks "To love a shoggoth" needs to be made into a real novel?

 

[Talvrae]

You mentioned Vampire the Masquerade.

As per the rules of the internet, I must now post this image.

Not me though.

No.

I already have it installed

Yrp that's my case too. was already installed... When someone will try again to a game like this?

 

[FallenMessiah88]

I remeber seeing a gameplay trailer for this game a few months back. A vampire stealth game is actually a pretty cool premise. Too bad that this particular game just seems so dull and lifeless.

 

[RA92]

Awww, it's truly heartening to see so much love for Bloodlines...

 

[Talvrae]

Good post Yahtzee, had some great laughs. I wish the game was even half as good as Bloodlines as I might be willing to drag through a bad game for that reason alone. What a bummer that Dark turned out so badly, I *almost* spent time on it but I am glad I skipped it as the forced cover mechanic would be too frustrating.

I keep waiting for Bloodlines to get the gog release but no luck so far... hmm I know I have the disks laying around here somewhere.

Oh for those installers out there, don't forget the cheat code "money" - the developers definitely had a sense of humor that is for sure : )

You know Bloodline on steam?

 

[ImBigBob]

Yahtzee complains about how bad gaming is, conveniently ignoring games like Shin Megami Tensei IV and Fir Emblem: Awakening. Yay, another really dull shooter review. How about you take your own advice and do something different for once?