Zero Punctuation: Darksiders

[Vorpals]

This was the best Zero Punctuation in a long while. I only chuckled at some of the recent episodes, but this one had me laughing until my head was on my desk. Good job, Yahtzee, and let's hope you keep it up.

 

[Karoline Dianne]

I was never all that interested in Darksiders, although it has brought yet another amusing rant from Yahtzee, so I'm happy.

I wonder if Yahzee would appreciate War more if he was a tad more like Kharn the betrayer, now that guy has some 'personality', lol.

That said, I shall now go and mingle with my gelatinous friends, plotting the downfall of Space Marines...

Go Chaos

 

[Vigilantis]

Mmmm and to think theres people who believe Darksiders is far superior to the Zelda franchise.

 

[Dont Fear The Reaper]

War really was the most boring character in Darksiders. When I picture War I picture someone booming around laughing hysterically and firing miniguns at everything in sight, brimming with fury and charisma. I don't picture Alex Mercer at a muscle beach.

PS: Leave Warhammer out of this Yahtzee.

 

[Crouton]

All this proection of Warhammer and 40k from the people here is just going to prompt an Extra punctuation of why Warhammer 40k is bad.

and then we will all hate Yahtzee for 10 minutes, remember its the internet, and watch the next Zero Punctuation.

PS: The fact that Yahtzee didn't think of Arthas makes me sad, and I lose faith in his ability to make fun of WoW.

 

[L4Y Duke]

Excellent video. Especially loved the God of War clone part at the beginning.

And I always thought Bayonetta would be more of a Devil May Cry clone than a God of War clone.

 

[Citrovc4]

his rage is directed at the fact he has to review more god of war nockoffs, and for the fact most of them will have sequils

 

[seyirci]

I almost lost it laughing when the blue and orange portals appeared. He isn't making that up, is he? Wow, game designers.

And I concur with the majority of the thread, this was one hilarious ZP.

 

[Codeman90]

All this proection of Warhammer and 40k from the people here is just going to prompt an Extra punctuation of why Warhammer 40k is bad.

and then we will all hate Yahtzee for 10 minutes, remember its the internet, and watch the next Zero Punctuation.

PS: The fact that Yahtzee didn't think of Arthas makes me sad, and I lose faith in his ability to make fun of WoW.

Nah it'll just be a paragraph about his opinion on 40k. Which will probably be about the generic over the top nature of 40k. Which is fine, the response should be interesting anyway.

 

[samuraixyz]

...how exactly do you get Bayonetta = God of War, and NOT Devil May Cry?

I mean, the comparison still works, but still...it seems so much more obvious to go with DMC

After DMC 4, I think Yahtzee would rather forget the DMC series.

That's not a very good excuse to not reference Bayonetta to DMC series (excluding 4; it felt like a rehash of DMC3 with a bad story) because that's really the best representation between them; possibly the only representation. I guess Yathzee just threw it in there merely because it just happened to be the very few action-adventure games being released (not a good reason to begin with)... or it's because the reference between Bayonetta and GOW is that there's, god forbid, quick time events; the only major difference is that Bayonetta doesn't make QTE as a core concept so expect watching a cutscene then "QTE, OH NOES PRESS X NAO!!!"; then there's button mashing but Bayonetta does it so well with it personally once you find the pattern... so I'm going to assume the former.

But aside from Yathzee rather thoughtless rage of Bayonetta as a GOW clone, it was a good video. I hope in his review in Bayonetta he doesn't gab about "GOW clone this and that" and rant big time about the other main stuff like the massive sexual innuendo that try too hard to be funny, random CAPCOM references, pointless weapon and its combination you lug around, and SEGA being a shitty console port company (personal rant) or something.

 

[yeah_so_no]

This review really, really, really makes me look forward to when he reviews Bayonetta and EA's "Dante's Inferno."

 

[Crouton]

All this proection of Warhammer and 40k from the people here is just going to prompt an Extra punctuation of why Warhammer 40k is bad.

and then we will all hate Yahtzee for 10 minutes, remember its the internet, and watch the next Zero Punctuation.

PS: The fact that Yahtzee didn't think of Arthas makes me sad, and I lose faith in his ability to make fun of WoW.

Nah it'll just be a paragraph about his opinion on 40k. Which will probably be about the generic over the top nature of 40k. Which is fine, the response should be interesting anyway.

Lol at the thought of Yahtzee bashing this game for being unoriginal, only to use unoriginal arguments. Though I suppose its a fault in logic to think he should have to come up with new arguments, its funny none the less.

 

[mrdude2010]

venting out alot of frustrations over this game eh? understandable since it rips off so many games. heh heh, wait till you play bayonetta which i still don't understand why reviewers praised it so much for "originality" while calling darksiders derivative

because if you look carefully bayonetta takes God of War's 4x^2 + 3x + 5 and copies it directly, whereas darksiders turns it into 8x + 3 (^.^)

 

[Aptspire]

Shweet
lol GoW rip-off :_)

 

[Kurtz]

So...
Yahtzee hates quicktime events unless a game makes combos easy,
Yahtzee hates games with only shooty guns until a game has zelda grappling hooks, boomerangs, scythes, etc,
Yahtzee hates drab, bleak, and monochromatic characters until a game has extremely detailed ones,
Yahtzee hates pseudo open worlds until a game legitimately lets you backtrack using new items,
Yahtzee hates characters that whine all the time until a game has characters that speak clearly and sound good,
Yahtzee hates games where you kill things with a sword unless you're kratos - then it's ok,
Yahtzee hates instant-kill enemies unless enemies actually have counter-able attacks,
and Yahtzee hates portals if they don't have the valve logo glued to them.

What a letdown. It's one thing to rag on games that suck, it's another to be actively hypocritical. If these 'reviews' are just going to be him searching for stuff to insult then I can find better ways to spend 3 minutes.

 

[Saxon-Mercenary]

You are yet again my hero.
What an accurate review.

 

[Crouton]

So...
Yahtzee hates quicktime events unless a game makes combos easy,
Yahtzee hates games with only shooty guns until a game has zelda grappling hooks, boomerangs, scythes, etc,
Yahtzee hates drab, bleak, and monochromatic characters until a game has extremely detailed ones,
Yahtzee hates pseudo open worlds until a game legitimately lets you backtrack using new items,
Yahtzee hates characters that whine all the time until a game has characters that speak clearly and sound good,
Yahtzee hates games where you kill things with a sword unless you're kratos - then it's ok,
Yahtzee hates instant-kill enemies unless enemies actually have counter-able attacks,
and Yahtzee hates portals if they don't have the valve logo glued to them.

What a letdown. It's one thing to rag on games that suck, it's another to be actively hypocritical. If these 'reviews' are just going to be him searching for stuff to insult then I can find better ways to spend 3 minutes.

thats basically the entire point. If you watch them he does occasionally say "and anything I don't mention is usually good". or something to that affect. the only review he never insulted was Portal.

 

[TyroSe7en]

LOL!!! He just owned everything my friend likes about this game

 

[Kurtz]

So...
Yahtzee hates quicktime events unless a game makes combos easy,
Yahtzee hates games with only shooty guns until a game has zelda grappling hooks, boomerangs, scythes, etc,
Yahtzee hates drab, bleak, and monochromatic characters until a game has extremely detailed ones,
Yahtzee hates pseudo open worlds until a game legitimately lets you backtrack using new items,
Yahtzee hates characters that whine all the time until a game has characters that speak clearly and sound good,
Yahtzee hates games where you kill things with a sword unless you're kratos - then it's ok,
Yahtzee hates instant-kill enemies unless enemies actually have counter-able attacks,
and Yahtzee hates portals if they don't have the valve logo glued to them.

What a letdown. It's one thing to rag on games that suck, it's another to be actively hypocritical. If these 'reviews' are just going to be him searching for stuff to insult then I can find better ways to spend 3 minutes.

thats basically the entire point. If you watch them he does occasionally say "and anything I don't mention is usually good". or something to that affect. the only review he never insulted was Portal.

But you're missing my point. It's one thing to only mention negatives, but he hates things in this review that he wishes for in others. You can't have your cake and eat it too - and like I said, there's no reason to watch if Yahtzee's reaction to everything is going to be disapproval regardless.

It's great to be bitingly truthful and witty. But this video was just hypocritical and forced - like Yahtzee knows he has to deliver the angry (no matter what he said before), or else he won't get the escapist page views.