Zero Punctuation: Diablo 3

[DoomBlackDragon]

I did not buy the game. Cause I knew it would suck. Well would you look at that. It does suck. So much they have to force you to play multiplayer. Wish blizzard would just stop making shit games.

 

[TheRaggedQueen]

I already made up my mind about the game before Yahtzee reviewed it, in that I decided not to get it based off not enjoying the first two. I did find his video enjoyable, though I know his standards concerning games are a lot harsher than mine, so I tend to watch them while keeping that in mind. Especially since I know that I enjoy it when he complains, so whether the game is actually good to me or not is irrelevant in the face of him talking about its lousier aspects.

The friends of mine who have played the game seem to enjoy it, and I'm glad their money was well-spent. As it is, I wasn't that fond of the first or second, and so I saw no reason to buy the third. I'm also sure that it will improve for those who think it's good but needs fixing, as Blizzard will throw patch after patch at it, ensuring a steady supply of Bawwing from Blizz fans.

 

[Rheinmetall]

Please Ben, don't use photos of spiders in your videos, they are very frightening.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Please Ben, don't use photos of spiders in your videos, they are very frightening.

Painful for you to watch too?

The minute he said he was playing as a witch doctor I silently pleaded for him not to go overboard, but I was wrong, oh so wrong.

 

[Random Fella]

It's a shame Yahtzee didn't play it through until the end. The final boss fight was so anticlimactic and the ending comes close to mass effect 3 bad. I was really looking forward to him bashing on that part.

I guess you never got past normal, what a shame.

I hope he didn't actually pay blizzard money to review the boring, shit game the with forced online. That would be contributing to more boring, shit, forced online games.

Have you ever actually played the game, or are you talking out your arse from what you've heard other people that haven't played the game say?

 

[Rheinmetall]

Please Ben, don't use photos of spiders in your videos, they are very frightening.

Painful for you to watch too?

The minute he said he was playing as a witch doctor I silently pleaded for him not to go overboard, but I was wrong, oh so wrong.

I was eating something at that time and suddenly I saw the tarantula. I said okay, don't pay any attention, he uses this photo of the spider in his videos from times to times. But he was showing that thing for two whole minutes.. Mercy!

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Please Ben, don't use photos of spiders in your videos, they are very frightening.

Painful for you to watch too?

The minute he said he was playing as a witch doctor I silently pleaded for him not to go overboard, but I was wrong, oh so wrong.

I was eating something at that time and suddenly I saw the tarantula. I said okay, don't pay any attention, he uses this photo of the spider in his videos from times to times. But he was showing that thing for two whole minutes.. Mercy!

I was drinking coffee when I saw the thing, and I didn't jump as much since he does use that a lot. But it kept coming up and I was using my coffee mug as a shield from the hairy critter while occasionally glancing to see if it's gone.

All the while not spilling hot coffee on myself and my laptop.

 

[Sergey Sund]

Only one inaccurary: In multiplayer, your coop-partner can NOT ninja loot your stuff.
Every enemy drops loot that only either of the players can see. When they have picked it up and thrown out of their inventory - only then - can the other player see the item.
So that bit about "some yahoo" "nixing all the rare pants"?
Not accurate.
Fair criticism though: Without any friends you wouldn't know about this, would you?
Also - isn't the online DRM nifty?
I always love it when I pay 60 bucks for a game that's only an online download and then can't connect to the server because - d'uh - they are overloaded on launch-day.
If you release your game as an online download you should be able to look at a counter and go "Holy shit! That is a lot of downloads! Better add some hardware to my servers!"
and not
"Ship millions of hardcopies. Sell millions of downloads. Hope like fuck no-one buys the hardcopies so as to not screw with our server capacity, which we have calculated solely on download-numbers (or vice versa)."

 

[Sergey Sund]

BTW - I'm only able to watch Escapist AT ALL because Blizzard, in its epic wisdom, has decided to kick me out of my running game via some out-of-nowhere error message and then ....... (NRRRGH) not letting me in again!
I can't use the game THAT I PAYED FOR on my own fucking terms, FFS.
I want to start the game? Hope Battlenet is not over capacity.
Want to continuously play? Hope Blizzard doesn't have other plans.
Like patching. Or maintenance. Or having sex on a server keyboard somewhere.
And you can say what you want about Chinese gold farmers - but at least transactions with them aren't as buggy as that auction house. Had to wait for their server maintenance to kick in before the item I bought showed up in my "completed" tab.
By that time, of course, I was so frustrated from not being able to play and not getting my item that I just threw it in my inventory, bashed one epic rare feind and found a better one - making this a hattrick of fail for Blizzard.

 

[mrdude2010]

This review sums up why I don't want to play Diablo 3. I can still respect why others like it, though. Although... I part of me still doesn't understand the MASS appeal or why Blizzard uses it's endless resources to make THIS vs. ANYTHING ELSE IMAGINABLE.

6.3 million retail copies sold within 24 hours of release. Anything else you don't understand?

I can only assume Yahtzee loved this game, since he makes a point of invalidating most of his criticisms during the end credits. He just knows no one wants to listen to him not complain.

durrr copies sold=good game

Not saying D3 wasn't good, just saying that sales =/= goodness. Look at Transformers 2.

And you're seriously questioning why a corporation would choose making huge profits over game quality?

No, of course not, there's no reason for them to try if people are stupid enough to spend money on it anyway, I was just pointing out that just because something sells well doesn't mean its good.

 

[Azmael Silverlance]

Badum pssss

Yahtzee if you had played co-op maybe someone wouldve told you that you can assign whatever skill you want to whichever button you want
The streamlined version only lasts until you unlock the 6th skill and after that its strategy time

 

[Donttazemehbro]

Try inferno.... The game can be pretty hard

 

[Grospoliner]

Indeed. And all of these things are negatives.

You should not have to go into the menus and hunt for an option to allow you to change skills for each button. It should be an inherint feature. So this is negative (the game never tells you to do this).

Says you. But I don't care about your opinion or his. I care about accurately representing a product as opposed to deliberately or inadvertently misrepresenting that product. As a journalist Yahtzee should know better. He can criticize things perfectly well so long as they don't obfuscate their actual implementation.

You have to be on battle.net to play, which cause lag and server issues for a game that is a single player only game for many people, and the game is not marketed as an MMO.

I didn't broach this subject. I said you didn't have to play it with other players.

Equipping weapons does increase your attack, yes. But this is a pretty stupid mechanic. Why would my zombie-dogs become more powerful when I have very sharp knife? Non-melee attacks being affected by your knife is absurd, and makes the game pretty odd. This is what Yatzee is refering to here. I think he understands how it works, he just doesn't like it. And neither do I, as a matter of fact.

Still don't care about opinions.

And for the final point, normal being so easy makes the game boring. If I have to use 5-8 hours to play through the game on normal before I can get to the "real" game, why whould I want to play through the exact same game again?

Well that's unfortunate for you but there are plenty of others that are doing just fine.

 

[Grospoliner]

And if you'd bothered to read the credits, you'd know that he already beat you to acknowledging this fact. Whoops.

Mostly likely due to development deadlines that come with this sort of job, he didn't have time to re-do the voice over for the entire video just to satisfy you and the rest of Blizzard's fans, who seem to already be out in droves over this video. You'd think he insulted your mothers or something.

He's publishing a video that is misrepresenting the facts about a product, and if he knows he's doing it, then he's doing it deliberately. That is unethical.

Did I ever state I was a fan of Blizzard or the game? No. I criticized the deliberate misrepresentation of specific details related to a specific product. My opinions of the product or its developer have nothing to do with it. You seem to be in a big hurry to criticize people for being fans however. I think you need to work out those issues somewhere else though rather than try to undermine someone else's legitimate complaint about a journalist's behavior.

New to Zero Punctuation, are we?

No I've been watching for several years now.

Yahtzee *never* plays multi-player because it is his belief that a game should be able to stand on its single player. Agree or disagree, that's how it is. I personally think it's a short-sighted opinion in some respects, and I agree that him making a inaccurate complaint about a mode he hasn't played is a bad call, but it doesn't really matter. He's the one making money from this, not you or me.

I don't care about his personal opinions as they don't apply to me, I may agree or disagree with him on some of them. What I will not stand for is the product being misrepresented. Even if it is a game I think is a terrible pile of crap, the second someone intentionally lies about it I will call them out.

Besides, in theory Diablo 3 should be playable and enjoyable in single player anyways. Otherwise it probably shouldn't offer the option. It always annoys me when people say that you have to play multi-player to truly "get" a game or enjoy it, yet the game has both single and multi-player options. So if the multi-player is the only "good" option, why bother having the single player if it's as half-assed as you imply?

I never said anything to that like. He made a criticism based on an uninformed assumption. That is ignorance. I never once implied that the online only single/multiplayer system is good or bad. You are.

The fanboi is strong with this one. You're making assumptions about how much of the game he played without even half a clue what you're talking about.

I never once stated I knew how much he played or how he played it. It's a rhetorical question. He uses them all the time. You're being a hypocrite now, applying a double standard between him and me, based on your personal bias towards the game and your perceived bias towards me for defending the issues I have opted to defend.

Obviously he knows this, otherwise he wouldn't have commented on the fact that he was playing it in single player and didn't want to play in multi-player. For someone insulting him for not playing the game, you sure didn't bother to listen to his review all that well.

I'm am perfectly within all rights to levy criticism to someone performing a review of something and deliberately misrepresenting that work. I would expect nothing less from anyone else, including yourself. Also, I never insulted him, so kindly refrain from lying about what I said.

....which isn't what he's saying. He's commenting on the fact that it seems idiotic to carry around a sword and then not have a melee option available to you at all times in addition to the various skills.

He insinuates that equipping those melee weapons has no effect. To paraphrase him "I started with a melee attack, but it was replaced when I learned the second spell, which strikes me as missing the forest through the trees, especially since I could still equip melee weapons but I would only be using them to scratch my black ass."

Are you sure you listened to what he said?

Ah, finally, a point we agree on. Your post was pretty shameful and pretty fanboi-ish.

Now that is an example of someone attempting to insulte someone else.

Lemme ask you two questions:

Okay

1) Exactly how much does it hurt that Yahtzee doesn't like your waifu?

Here you are attempting to insinuate that I have strong feelings towards Diablo 3 by comparing me to the infamous Japanese subculture group known as hikkimoris who opt to reject human interaction and adopt a relationship with inanimate 2d characters from anime.

Firstly, I never stated I like or even enjoy Diablo 3. That is completely irrelevant as you should realize by now I am opposed to his deliberate misrepresentation of any product and this is one such product whose (some) features are being misrepresented. If you actually want to know what my opinions are on Diablo 3 I would be happy to list them. I assume you don't but feel free to let me know.

Secondly, you're criticizing an entire cultural group by comparison because you don't like what I've said? That kind of makes you a jerk.

2) Why exactly does his dislike of the game frustrate you so much that you're feeling the need to post in an angry huff to dismiss his criticisms?

By now I've covered this. To clarify however, I did not dismiss his criticisms but called out invalid ones.

If the answer to either question is that this review does, indeed, rustle your jimmies so much, then perhaps that's because deep down in your brain somewheres, this review made you realize that it's not the flawless masterpiece you thought it was and that perhaps you're not enjoying the game as much as you think you are. Especially if you feel the need to get so hyper-defensive of it to the point where you're not even listening to what he said.

I would turn this right back around to you. Why do YOU feel the need to be "hyper-defensive" of Yahtzee when they are HIS opinions? Furthermore, why do you feel the need to be condescending towards another person for rightly calling out someone for deliberate inaccuracies that they have made? Are you doing so because I have offended your personal sensibilities and are perceiving an unjust attack against someone you admire? I believe that Yahtzee is perfectly capable of defending himself (though I confess I doubt he really cares what I have to say; valid criticisms or not).

Yahtzee's criticized a lot of games I happen to enjoy (Smash Bros, for example), and I just sorta laugh and go back to enjoying the game. There's no reason to get so hyped up over a negative review of a game you enjoyed unless the review is pointing out some inconvenient truths to you that you're desperate to shove out of your mind.

Your assumptions are mistaken. It is unfortunate that you opted not to ask my opinions before making these assumptions about me. You seem to have built up a rather inaccurate idea of who I am and why I made my original post. In the future I would encourage you to inquire before you fire.

 

[swm934]

No reference to Covetous Shen? He was clearly D3's best character. I love the mannerisms James Hong adds to him.

"Oh just look at this architecture! You can travel all over the world and never see it's like...oh well except for THAT part, I've seen that somewhere before."

 

[Sephlock]

Guess what happened after I watched this video? http://s15.postimage.org/vfctxakhn/Screenshot027.jpg

 

[Alex113]

Not saying that a Blizzard game is THE GOD OF "INSERT GENRE HERE" is bound get loads of angry trolls. I tend to play the games Blizzard copies first and they are usually better

 

[The Forlorn]

I hope he didn't actually pay blizzard money to review the boring, shit game the with forced online. That would be contributing to more boring, shit, forced online games.

Have you ever actually played the game, or are you talking out your arse from what you've heard other people that haven't played the game say?

This line of reasoning is invalid. It's not a movie or a book or something we can't know almost everything about by watching gameplay footage and using the internet. Furthermore, it's Diablo THREE.

It's the THIRD installment of a game that came out in 1996 - that was already ripping off other games over a decade before that. Gauntlet was the same premise and that came out in 1985. 1985!!! Were you born yet?

No one needs to know that the same, mindless formula, of button mashing and pointless loot grabbing from different monsters in slightly differently arranged dungeons, is the same, mindless experience as before. In 1985 it was amazing. In 1996 it was kind of stupid, but still fun. Now, it's just embarrassing.

Oh, and you're forced to be online.

Bring on the Baldur's Gates, Icewind Dales and some real D&D rpg's, not this crude matter.

 

[Chew Kok]

Yahtzee,
Review Dear Esther.