Zero Punctuation: Dragon Age: Origins

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Primus1985

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Dec 24, 2009
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I had to finally come on and share my experiences.

I like Dragon Age, Bioware did a amazing job as usual but they glitched big time!
I played through about 45 hours of my first playthrough(Human Beserker warrior) and then I played through again because I got the game guide and I wanted to be a female elven ranger. I dreamed of being a forest warrior that could summon beasts to the fight and master dual swords.

However unlike most specialations you have to buy the book for it instead of learning it from a npc. The book is only at one Vendor and once its gone its gone. I worked, scraped and grinded the first 10 hours to get enough money to buy it. Had to sell most everything and I was broke afterward, it was 15 gold pieces, 150,000$ broken down. I bought it right before leveling to level 8, and it wouldnt unlock.

25 or so hours in I learn the bard specialtion from a npc and its unlocked instantly. I even load the game back at 10 hours and the bard special is still unlocked but not Ranger. Now I have to scrap 25 hours of gameplay, and scrape together all that money again and pray and hope it unlocks the NEXT time!

Screwed out of 25 hours of real time and $150,000 virtual money, not chump change. Hell 25 hours is as long as the first Mass Effect(including "Bringing down the sky") I wasted the entire length of Mass Effect on something I cant have!

Never have I been so made at a video game in all my life, and its one I like no less! Felt like Yahtzee ready to throw my controler across the room into the tv.

If this glitch can be fixed please let me know if not... Bioware is going to get a steaming letter.
 

TheDoctor455

Friendly Neighborhood Time Lord
Apr 1, 2009
12,257
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I'll grant you, most of your points on this game are pretty valid. But I just have to ask you something Yahtzee: what the fuck do you have against a game having replay value?
 

dragonwingsilver

New member
Jan 5, 2010
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its interesting and its fun as hell to piss off every one you talk to, he has some valid points to it and they are true but its enjoyable still

also i'm supriced he knows what otherkins are...my ex was one....if only i didn't save her life -_-*
 

Ell Jay

New member
Jun 3, 2009
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Don't know what he's getting at talking about "a bunch of people that all look the same." I haven't encountered 2 NPCs that look identical in the entire game. That kind of thing happened in KOTOR2, not in 2009.
 

Veldt Falsetto

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Dec 26, 2009
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Kanashe said:
dekuben said:
Kanashe said:
While Yahztee waves his stick for you sorry twats.
It's not just any old stick; it's actually his big black pseudo-Australian Wiimote and if you saw the size of it, you'd understand why he puts whiggers like me and you to shame D:
The day I'll be shamed of this jackhole is the day when Nintendo makes a game that's worth a shit an Paris Hilton grows a brain.
Well look at you Mr Silly Bear, Yahtzee is funny and that's why people like him, I'm now assuming you like Halo and Gears because fans of those games know nothing about gaming and even people without a brain such as Ms Hilton know that Nintendo themselves make amazing games and that Halo in particular is extraordinarily meh. So either you're a no brained sheep for following Halo fans and baseless Nintendo haters orrrrrrrrrrr you were offended that Yahtzee liked Dragon Age and poked fun at its clichés, either way it's stupid.
 

Veldt Falsetto

New member
Dec 26, 2009
1,458
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Primus1985 said:
I had to finally come on and share my experiences.

I like Dragon Age, Bioware did a amazing job as usual but they glitched big time!
I played through about 45 hours of my first playthrough(Human Beserker warrior) and then I played through again because I got the game guide and I wanted to be a female elven ranger. I dreamed of being a forest warrior that could summon beasts to the fight and master dual swords.

However unlike most specialations you have to buy the book for it instead of learning it from a npc. The book is only at one Vendor and once its gone its gone. I worked, scraped and grinded the first 10 hours to get enough money to buy it. Had to sell most everything and I was broke afterward, it was 15 gold pieces, 150,000$ broken down. I bought it right before leveling to level 8, and it wouldnt unlock.

25 or so hours in I learn the bard specialtion from a npc and its unlocked instantly. I even load the game back at 10 hours and the bard special is still unlocked but not Ranger. Now I have to scrap 25 hours of gameplay, and scrape together all that money again and pray and hope it unlocks the NEXT time!

Screwed out of 25 hours of real time and $150,000 virtual money, not chump change. Hell 25 hours is as long as the first Mass Effect(including "Bringing down the sky") I wasted the entire length of Mass Effect on something I cant have!

Never have I been so made at a video game in all my life, and its one I like no less! Felt like Yahtzee ready to throw my controler across the room into the tv.

If this glitch can be fixed please let me know if not... Bioware is going to get a steaming letter.
That's not even bad compared to som glitches in this game, I think all the common complaints are on the DA wikia, I for one have been put off Bioware thanks to this title
 

Kanashe

New member
May 8, 2008
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Veldt Falsetto said:
Kanashe said:
dekuben said:
Kanashe said:
While Yahztee waves his stick for you sorry twats.
It's not just any old stick; it's actually his big black pseudo-Australian Wiimote and if you saw the size of it, you'd understand why he puts whiggers like me and you to shame D:
The day I'll be shamed of this jackhole is the day when Nintendo makes a game that's worth a shit an Paris Hilton grows a brain.
Well look at you Mr Silly Bear, Yahtzee is funny and that's why people like him, I'm now assuming you like Halo and Gears because fans of those games know nothing about gaming and even people without a brain such as Ms Hilton know that Nintendo themselves make amazing games and that Halo in particular is extraordinarily meh. So either you're a no brained sheep for following Halo fans and baseless Nintendo haters orrrrrrrrrrr you were offended that Yahtzee liked Dragon Age and poked fun at its clichés, either way it's stupid.
Awwww....Aren't you a cute Nintendo doggy and Yahtzee sheepy. Yahtzee being funny? Give me a fucking break, oh I'm suuuuree dick/sex/racist/gay jokes are the hight of comedy, if your fuckin' 10 years old and have a brain of a gold fish. An honestly, this is the best ya could do? Just 'cause I think Yahtzee and Nintendo suck as much as the people who actually like 'em, you belive I enjoy shit like Halo or GoW? Wow, you sir are nine different flavours of fail, but why should I be suprised? All you Nintendo dogs or even Yahtzee sheep are made of fail. An yeah, Nintendo can go an fuck 'em selfes, makeing great games my ass, thoes guys can't do jack shit.
 

lucky_sharm

New member
Aug 27, 2009
846
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Kanashe said:
Veldt Falsetto said:
Kanashe said:
dekuben said:
Kanashe said:
While Yahztee waves his stick for you sorry twats.
It's not just any old stick; it's actually his big black pseudo-Australian Wiimote and if you saw the size of it, you'd understand why he puts whiggers like me and you to shame D:
The day I'll be shamed of this jackhole is the day when Nintendo makes a game that's worth a shit an Paris Hilton grows a brain.
Well look at you Mr Silly Bear, Yahtzee is funny and that's why people like him, I'm now assuming you like Halo and Gears because fans of those games know nothing about gaming and even people without a brain such as Ms Hilton know that Nintendo themselves make amazing games and that Halo in particular is extraordinarily meh. So either you're a no brained sheep for following Halo fans and baseless Nintendo haters orrrrrrrrrrr you were offended that Yahtzee liked Dragon Age and poked fun at its clichés, either way it's stupid.
Awwww....Aren't you a cute Nintendo doggy and Yahtzee sheepy. Yahtzee being funny? Give me a fucking break, oh I'm suuuuree dick/sex/racist/gay jokes are the hight of comedy, if your fuckin' 10 years old and have a brain of a gold fish. An honestly, this is the best ya could do? Just 'cause I think Yahtzee and Nintendo suck as much as the people who actually like 'em, you belive I enjoy shit like Halo or GoW? Wow, you sir are nine different flavours of fail, but why should I be suprised? All you Nintendo dogs or even Yahtzee sheep are made of fail. An yeah, Nintendo can go an fuck 'em selfes, makeing great games my ass, thoes guys can't do jack shit.
So you call out Yahtzee as being a vulgar one trick pony, and then type out a bunch of cuss words, spout unfounded hatred, and use overused unfunny internet phrases like "fail"? Way to go! You tell em, brutha! You are so very enlightened and charismatic compared to these ignorant sheeple! Err...quick question, but when did people start making games specifically for Yahtzee to critisize? Despite obviously being opposed to Yahtzee, why ever so productively spend your valuable time on these forums complaining about him?

Personally, I think it's cuter how the people who supposedly hate and express their disgust of Yahtzee still watch his reviews anyway. And then complain about it in the comments section. And then do the same thing again next week. Kind of like the people who boycott Modern Warfare 2 and ended up buying it regardless. Even cuter how these people call others "blind" end up horribly misinterpreting Yahtzee's reviews and why he always nitpicks and accentuates the negative.(as stated for the kajillionth time, watch the Bioshock review) Like for example, this one here. Since the slower, more impatient people want the short version, yeah he liked this game.
 

Tevana

New member
Mar 28, 2010
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I was an elf too playing and got the same "Hello you are an elf" and I played as a mage so I got some dialog"Hello you are an Elf, ack and a mage please dont turn me into a frog!" which I found humorous.
 

darkscum

New member
Apr 30, 2009
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Hallow said:
But I'm guessing, from Yahtzee and my friends, that they do it so well that it's still engrossing and enjoyable as if it was something brand new.
(I'm still gonna rent it first though)
finally, some one who understands about yahzee's method of review, there are always things to complain about be it the lack of originality of it or that it's just pants on head retarded. But whether its a good game or not is a different point, I may be wrong in assuming this about yatz' but some one who would have played it for 25 hours with out trying to shove the controller through the screen, would usually still be there because it's enjoyable...

besides he doesn't really have chance to admit a liking for the games because of his fearsome reputation for defiling them, but in some he does suggest.
 

romxxii

New member
Feb 18, 2010
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I guess there are still people who still don't realize that Yahtzee shares a lot in common with Simon Cowell; British,sexually ambivalent, and paid to rip something apart, which in Yahtzee's case is games. The whole point is that he's supposed to criticize a game in the most creative way possible while throwing in a dick reference or two. People affected by Yahtzee's negative criticism are like Christian fundies who get angry at the scientists for coming up with theories far more plausible than "invisible man makes universe, worship him."

Now if you're offended by his alleged lack of talent, then what the fuck are you doing here, then? Pissed off that Yahtzee gets paid to troll gamers while you have to hold a regular job like the rest of the world? If you don't like it, avoid it. That's why I don't watch most of the tripe on The Escapist.
 

Neferius

New member
Sep 1, 2010
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Hey! Where can I play any of those Games ...no not Dragon-Age, I've already played that ^-^
I'm talking about those Games he ...oh, Nevermind! Here's the Link =P : http://www.escapistmagazine.com/games/stonking_great/
 

toapat

New member
Mar 28, 2009
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I personally have dumped well over 40 hours into the game, and there still is no end in sight. Dragon Age is a game which neither wants to end, nor is it balanced well. before i installed any of the DLC, the enemies were able to remove my entire party's kneecaps, while bosses simply oneshotted Allistair through the heaviest armor i had obtained upto that point. upon installing the DLC, the game becomes a triviality, with problems only occuring when the dragons, ogres, and bosses use their "fuck you up the ass with a chainsaw" moves. the gap between normal and easy difficulty is a trench a thousand miles across.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
8,405
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saying fantasy RPGs should not have human elf and dwarf because Tolkein did it is liek saying FPS should not have weapons because halo doom did it.