Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

[HotTubTony]

another whiny bitchfest. what a surprise.

 

[Mearno]

Was shocked cause I thought it was out, then realised it was a satire

Great watch

 

[leastat03]

This is, by quite some distance, one of the funniest and most killing reviews I've ever seen. Awesome work Yahtzee!

 

[Sonicdude]

I remember when I saw the leaked footage for the game. It looked so awesome and so promising and then 3D Realms kicked the bucket and had to step down from the gaming industry to do other things that I don't really care about and now I think I'll go play some Half-Life 2

 

[Fratboy]

I think some may be missing the point. Haha, great "review"

 

[Gerazzi]

First!

First to be banned on this thread you mean.

Actually I did enjoy how Yahtzee presented it as the game we all expected DNF to be, after 12 years of waiting we expected to combine aspects like FPS and RPG elements and create the most in depth video game every known to mankind. If it had been released I would also have expected it to be free, to come with a likesize Duke statue which occasionally commented on how badass and awesome you were.

But yes, lets hope we can forget how develops tried to get our hopes up for 12 years and just messed us about. Once Half Life came out i think it was obvious Duke Nukem was going to be in trouble.

And finally I can get to playing it on my Dalek entertainment system and after I'm done, maybe we could go play Quiddich on Mars?

Excellent review, and yes, I was also tear-jerkingly moved by the dryhump in a bikini, but even more moved when Duke's son did the same thing

 

[qbanknight]

thank you yahtzee for sending those dirtbags and crooks at 3D realms to hell with their pretentious and lengthy game; btw thank you for being both an intelligent and satirical game journalist as well (we are in such a short supply of those...)

 

[LegionSeere]

lol I actually remember being excited about DNF back in 1998 when my friend told me about it after we clocked duke nukem 3d. Amazing to think 3D realms could get away with just sitting in a room moving there finger over there lips going bbbbbbbb for 12 years though, that has to be a record

 

[adman]

So funny, i almost got excited, then i realise it was bull XD

 

[rynarko]

wow u have actually became so sarcastic i cant tell when ur serius or not

 

[srpilha]

bloody brilliant.

and top speed too, the ad at the end seems sluggish in comparison. well done.

 

[herr.Didi]

Now that was great!!
I didn't expect this at all; So, the great DIDI predicts that your next game will be Sims 3!!!

 

[lordock]

I actually found Duck Forever AMAZING!! best FPS EVER!! My favorite Part had to be the gun that shot shurikens and lightning!! Not only that the gun also had tits and was on fire!!! How asome is that!!

oh wait... am i getting confused with a different game?

 

[kaosboy13]

What? He reviewed a game he LIKED? I'm gonna call Satan and ask him if he's okay, because I think Hell just froze over.

Oh wait, this one was never released. Now I feel stupid...

As you should

Feel free to bite me, and get a life, you little internet troll.

 

[the cat]

The Monkeys owe them a refund! However, unless that is the game they intended. I can tell you this, LMS was the most toxic character ever created for any game. I fail to see how that would benefit the game as a whole. I just can't reconcile anything with regard to that. It was like the characters were being held hostage with threats of suicide, and then tortured. Why would you inject that into the game? How do you think the audience is going to respond. That project was doomed from the beginning.

 

[Aesthetical Quietus]

That made me laugh, although it did confuse me to start off with, must be in a slow mood today.

 

[damesjean]

What? He reviewed a game he LIKED? I'm gonna call Satan and ask him if he's okay, because I think Hell just froze over.

Oh wait, this one was never released. Now I feel stupid...

As you should

Feel free to bite me, and get a life, you little internet troll.

he's not trolling, in fact he's the only person who's said anything worthwhile on this goddamn thread. he was simply pointing out that you said something stupid.