Zero Punctuation: E3 2010

[Skoldpadda]

Yahtzee really said it better than I ever could. Motion controls need to fuck off and die. I can't even be excited for the new Zelda, and I'm a huge Zelda fan. I just won't play it with anything other then a conventional input device. I am not going to stand up and flail my arms around like a twat. I laughed at the wasp-comment.

Please let this retarded gimmicky bullshit die in a fire as soon as possible.

Still never played a Wii, huh? You can play Twilight Princess sitting on your ass and moving only your wrists.

I can also play TP sitting on my ass and using normal controls like I've done for fucking ages (on the GC).

I have played a Wii. I hated it. I kept smacking the nunchuck wire in my face and knocking the beer off the table.

Motion controls are retarded. End of fucking story.

 

[captain underpants]

Lastly...

But really... the arrogance of casting aspersions on someone else's motives in a public forum without even having the sense to do a little research is simply staggering.

Do you realise you've just described that song to a tee?

I'm sorry, but you are incorrect. I'm sure Mayes did plenty of research on Yahtzee before composing the song, and as proof of this, she even solicited suggestions for the song from ZP watchers at the end of one of the earlier ZP videos, as well as via a less-direct method (news post here on the site).

Fair point, although I was more concerned about the 'casting aspersions in a public forum' thing than the research thing.

If you hadn't redacted the quote of what I said to suit your needs, you would see that I was berating the guy I was quoting for making assumptions about the motivations behind the song and how much effort went into it, but most of all, in regards to his snide, myopic attitude. Hilariously, you're now guilty of almost the exact same thing-- at least when it comes to the 'making assumptions' part, although you certainly had a less arrogant attitude about it...

I'm making no assumptions. I just thought that it was funny that you berate someone for questioning someone's motives, when it seems to me that that's the whole point of the song you're defending.

As for the motivation for the song itself, I honestly don't know for sure. I've seen some people claim that she was doing it 'ironically' in that she was using Yahtzee's own methods against him. I guess that's possible, but if so it's kind of an inept attempt at it. I think I've got a pretty good eye for humour, and even Yahtzee himself seems uncertain on the matter, so I'm sticking with the 'bitter ex' theory for now. 'Many a true word is said in jest' and all that.

 

[captain underpants]

... Okay, now I am a bit more pissed off. I just got a badge for watching another Rebecca Muse video because of this damn set up.

I has an angry as I now have a double reminder that I watched something I didn't want to watch.

LOL. You should have logged out before watching it.

 

[Iceburg116]

Dunno if it's just me, but was the guitar at the beginning of this episode slightly different than the others?

 

[rex44]

Good episode, but you ignored the great DLC showcased at E3. Although most companies are advertising 3D and motion sensors as the next evolution in gaming I believe that DlC is the true next step. The cost reduction from eliminating most production expenses not only benefits us consumers but the game creators as well, if a DLC revolution occurs then the need for big production companies will be greatly diminished and game designers will be allowed more artistic freedom.

 

[Hunter.Wolf]

Haha, funny video as usual .. i specially loved the peter part ... it was hilarious XD

+few things to note

1-Kojima has nothing to do with the design of the new MGS:Rising and its watermelon-slicing-salad-making Raiden ... it's another guy from the Kojima production team who will be directing this one ... Kojima himself is just a producer (as he is to all "Kojima production" games) and Kojima himself will be working on another new game he will announce soon (hopefully ZOE3 not MGS5)

2-Motion controls are here to stay ... i didn't like Yahtzee complaining about lack of mature games on the Kinect (somebody change that stupid name already .. the kids are gonna have a hard time with it XD) then he also complains when PS3 Move having mature games .. so he is just complaining either way (guess he just hates motion controls) .. but fact is .. if i had 15 games that control with a typical controller i wouldn't mind having some variety and being able to play 4 or 5 other games using a different peripheral besides having all the typical games there ... games like the new SOCOM, RE5, Sorcery, Heavy Rain all seem very promising as motion controlled games that aren't your average sport fest (not that the sports games are bad either .. but Nintendo has done them to death) .. but i do have to say Kinect concept just doesn't work ... even with motion controls to make a deep functional-self-respecting game you still need some sort of controller+buttons .. so Nintendo Wii and Sony Move have it right .. Kinect IMO is a big screw up (in both name and concept) ... good luck flailing your whole body around like an idiot possessed by an angry gorilla.

3-XCOM still does have a lot in common with the old X-Com series (both in theme and gameplay wise).. you are doing the same exact things in X-Com but from the perspective of an agent not a commander ... it not like it is the first time in history a franchise changed time periods or perspective .. it freaking happens .. stop the nostalgic complains people already ... it's getting boring.

That would be all.

Hope it's Transformers review next time ^_^

 

[Boba Frag]

It's a real shame that the majority of people posting in the negative about Rebecca Mayes ( highly unfairly I think) seem to have the collective IQ and maturity of a pack of in-heat baboons.

Mind if I use this sometime? I love the imagery.

Also, a decent review, but I'd like to hear more about games getting shredded than the usual gripe over the motion controls. We all know they're stupid and that game companies won't listen to us, so why bother beating a dead horse.

Also, I was hoping to hear a full length response to the song, I was sad to see that the song didn't have a running commentary. Maybe give it to the Unskippable guys and do another 3 man crush fest on it.

Sure, by all means! Flattered, by the way

Same, it seemed to be a totally Yahtzee thing to though- a tantalising reference to the much commented upon song, but stopping short of giving us all a running commentary to sate our fan boy appetites.
Unusually diplomatic of him, actually. It wouldn't do to start on a flame war on another Escapist contributor, really.

I do hope that the current gimmick of motion controls gets under control... but I'm not really going to hold my breathe. Like you said, it's not like the wankers ever listen to us!

Having the Loading Ready Run guys behind Unskippable do a parody would be priceless!!

 

[wonkify]

Dear Yahtzee, nice reporting. I didn't even see much in the way of jokes because your usual take utilizing absurdity breaks down in the face of the industry's idiocy with 'three ddd' and movement controls.
I agree completely with what you said in this installment, sad to say. I mean for all of our sakes I'm sad. When this much sweat and treasure is plowed into something so lame we all suffer for the lack of it being applied to things we all could use and enjoy.
Like games that are clever and creative and fun to play.
Or we can all just wave our arms around like there is a bee in our living room.

 

[ActionDan]

I think that 3D games could be very immersive. Imagine if you are in the middle of a battle and bullets and grenades and all types of projectiles are flying past your ears, and really see the depth of a game. I think 3D gaming could be one of the most immersive ideas ever.

You have to be joking. They have yet to invent the 3D that has things zipping past your ears. Things that go off screen still go off screen, meaning you can't see them. And I doubt that such a jump in technology will exist in a handheld gaming device first. What you're describing is that sort of Star Trek holographic thing that Yahtzee said to wake him when is real.

3D IS a gimmick, and even worse most things that make use of it do it poorly, shoehorning in images of things being pointed at the screen that practically yells "LOOK AT THIS HO HO HOOO!"

I played Team Fortress 2 in 3D and made even more immersive and fun to me. I guess it's all about personal opinion.

 

[8bitdragon]

Great review as usual. At least E3 is showing more signs of life.

 

[DeathWyrmNexus]

... Okay, now I am a bit more pissed off. I just got a badge for watching another Rebecca Muse video because of this damn set up.

I has an angry as I now have a double reminder that I watched something I didn't want to watch.

LOL. You should have logged out before watching it.

If only I could have predicted... Well if I had foresight like that, I'd wouldn't waste it on just avoiding a badge. XD

 

[Endocrom]

Woo! Kirby dodges the wrath of Yahtzee.

Wuh? there was something new about splatterhouse‽ How did I miss that?

 

[midget_roxx]

No mentin of Victoria 2 ? I'm mildly dissapointed

 

[zombiesinc]

Awesome. Really enjoyed this one, even more so than most.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

This is becoming tiresome. Microsoft, Sony, do you wish to know why you are having difficulty in the market with sale figures? It is because the majority of the games you have released a complete garbage. No, it is not the motion idiocy you have attempted to impose upon us gamers. Honestly, with only a handful of games being released that have a fragment of appeal, you wonder the competency of gaming company when this are baffled we would rather play "old relics" for the unteeth time then be forced to endure their trash.

Here is a thought, why not attempt to develop video games like you use to . You know, the ones we all still prefer playing. I have no interest in patting some imaginary cat, I have two perfectly real ones I could saunter over and pat to my leisure. In addition, no I do feel the desire to flail about as though a bee flew into my trousers whilst I had a seizure. I want to play games with a regular controller and enjoy them. If this means replaying Final Fantasy X for the zillionth time, hooray...

 

[FallenMessiah88]

Honestly i think this whole motion control thing is getting out of hand. I totally feel like Yathzee does. Why fix it if it aint broken?!

 

[13lackfriday]

So many brilliant one-liners to mine out of this one for months...especially agree on the Kinect...when motion controllers...or the lack of any...can appeal to serious gamers, perhaps we shall take them seriously. Until then, it's nothing but a trend on life support for the noncommittal nobheads who can't sit down and learn some fucking controller layouts.

Also suprised he didn't rip into Deus Ex 3 considering it appears to be a fave of his and its now being resurrected by Square Enix and being a cynical bastard I expect it to be ruined.

Square Enix is only doing the cinematics and publishing...Eidos is in charge of actual game development. Seems like the best of both worlds to me.

 

[blankedboy]

No offense, but that song at the end really sucks.

They added that crap on the end ¬¬

Oh well, i like Rebecca's song at the end, at least.

I only get a half of episode so you show that fucking shitty music video.

What song at the end?
There isn't a song at the end.

 

[WaffleGod]

Yahtzee gets 11/10 on this one. Everything he says is completely true.