Zero Punctuation: Elite: Dangerous - Space Truckin'

4Aces

New member
May 29, 2012
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This 'game' is so broken most of the time, with horrible lags, insta-deaths that the devs acknowledge but will not refund, but then turn around and say that if you figured out an exploit, you will lose any advancement as they revert your only save back to the point before you used that exploit. The largest complaint is that this is half-finished. As Yahtzee said, you have to invent a reason to do anything. The devs could not figure out that a 30 year-old game design might need a spot of upgrading before slapping MMO on it, and shoving it out the door. Oh, and you can forget about that first M. If you get more than 10 PCs in any one instance the game will likely crash. I have seen 2 FPS due to 30 ships being in the same region of empty space. With low poly models, and low resolution textures, I doubt their (publicly traded) company will be around after the class-action refund demand (currently in planning stage) is done with them.

It is fun enough for the first 3 hours. After that, you realize you have seen it all, and begin the grind. After 10 you are looking to sell your account for some magic beans. If you can feed off the nostalgia, and make up silly voices for the NPCs, then you might last 20 hours. I know no one that went beyond that. Most has shelved it, waiting for massive numbers of patches, balancing, and content. Sort of like H1Z1. ;)
 

XDSkyFreak

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Mar 2, 2013
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I think there are 2 major caveats that anyone trying to get this game should consider. I know them, because I followed the development process and ultimatly decided against buying the game:
1) The developers are spewing Ubisoft levels of bullshit: according to them they did not add a solo offline mode because "someone could cheat in offline and accelerate his progress to Elite status and then go online and ruin the gaming experience of other people" ... a hilarious implication because of 2 reasons: this can still be done, only you now need an internet connection and it might take some extra time because cheating programs won't work AND BIG FUCKING NUMBER 2: so fucking what? you know one quick solution? you start a game offline, that character stays offline. BAM! Common sense! Not lying to your customers about promised features! Not taking leasons from Ubisoft!
2) The game is horibly unfinished and marketed like shit. It is NOT in any way akin to a space MMO. At MOST you can see 31 other players at any given time. There is no realiable system of grouping with a friend outside of making a private session that only allows you and whomkever you invite to appear in the universe. Even beeing the same system, same station as a friend of yours and exiting the station 5 seconds appart, you can run the risk of not seeing eachother because of the shit way the instancing works. And the final nail in the cofin: You know all those cool features they promised will be in the game? The walking on stations and planets? The fun RP stuff? That will pe available when done AS PAYED DLC! THEY WILL CHARGE YOU MONEY FOR CONTENT THEY PROMISED WILL BE IN THE ORIGINAL GAME (original game which is still missing tons of functionality and that allready has had content promised and not delivered).

With these in mind: how much can you trust these developers? The answer for me and a few friends of mine who wanted to get into this game was: not one bit. Despite beeing released this game is still very much an Early-access afair with the cripling flaw of asking for AAA money for an unfinished product and the promise of features down the line that will have to be payed for as well in DLC money. Make of that what you wish, all I know is that Elite: Dangerous was the most disapointing game launched in 2014 for me (after the latest bioware fuck-up, but the less I think about that piece of shit the better).
 

Cpt. Slow

Great news everybody!
Dec 9, 2012
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It could be worse Yahtzee, you could be putting in 150 euro's worth of addons for Microsoft Flight Simulator X. But who would be crazy enough to do that. Sobs and walks away hoping nobody sees me.
 

pantheress

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Apr 19, 2010
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I've been binge-watching ZP for days now (yay surgical recovery!) and I absolutely ADORE the ones where Yahtzee describes his personal RPG-ing during the game. This, Fallout New Vegas, and Shadow of Mordor spring to mind. I always love ZP, but this one in particular had me guffaw-ing right out loud. Thanks Yahtzee!