Zero Punctuation: Eve Online

[Eogris]

Definitely a 100% accurate video. Many thanks Yahtzee

 

[JonahNYC]

There's a fine line between mocking and bullying. I think Ben's gone over the line into bullying.

(Actually, his review reminds me of Homer Simpson proclaiming, "Everyone sucks but me!")

 

[hammarus]

Clearly Yahtzee doesn't like MMOs, so he is qualified to rate EVE as one how? Sounds like we have another pubescent individual with attention deficit disorder getting a job at a semi informational and sometimes funny online gamers news forum wishing he really was working for a legitimate magazine like Time or Newsweek, but since he doesnt have the staying power will settle for Glamour or Cosmo doing the weekly filler articles. Creating an, albit funny, cartoon that punches one of its advertisers somehow seems really dumb to me.

Oh yeah, the article makes fun of a game. I say go back to your mind numbing rock'em sock'em self involved game on a console, where you can finish a game with 3 hours of gameplay versus a game that has been around more than 5 years. That way you can feel you are satisfied and get that instant gratification you and other impulse buyers crave.

FANBOY ANGRY. FANBOY SMASH!

Now, what's wrong with playing for fun instead of feeling achieved at sitting at your computer playing a simulation of real life if real life was significantly faster, without aging or physical traits slowing you down and set in boring as all heck space?

I just don't derive any fun from Eve and I certainly don't feel a sense of achievement over a simple and easy game - the only things you need are patience and real life money to pay for the game time - until you're in the ranks of the ultral33t of Eve and pay your game time with ISK. After that, you just need enough time to throw away.

So the only thing left is socializing which I can do IRL - and it's much better IRL, with better rewards too.

What does keep you fanboys going? Lost money?

You equate a space simulation to real life? And ask me whats wrong with playing for fun.

Some people like football, some like swimming, others like checkers. What is your point really? I was criticizing the author of an article that is supposed to somehow be informational in a tongue and cheek way, when Yahtzee admits a dislike for MMOs.

You say you don't derive any fun from EVE, to each his own, and so why did you play? I assume you have quit by now, if you ever did play. And by play I mean more than the introductory period, and with a level of involvement that Yahtzee seems to bypass for the expediency of creating a funny story to poke the eye of yet another MMO which has already been done to death in other "eye poking" stories about other MMOs which Yahtzee hates.

I find a so called journalist who hates MMOs commenting on MMOs as a way of rating them is lame even if its funny. I would say the same if Yahtzee was talking about console games after Yahtzee just mentions a hatred for all console games.

Personally, I like all MMOs in their own ways, call me eclectic. The point of them is the point of this "online rag" Escapism

 

[noin007]

Always funny, but unfortunatly I dont agree with you this time old boy, I have been a player of eve for quite some time, and you did touch breifly on somethingin the review when you stated that it is a game that doesnt want to be played, you actually hit the nail on the head, EVE is an MMO that does not want the casual everyday grinder who wants to play for 5 days straight and be the highest level in the game. Glad you at least tried it though. Oh and by the way all you "I want to get out of my ship whiners" its a SPACE mmo the point is to be in SPACE but there have been plenty of people complaining about this and ccp has decided to introduce walking in stations

I believe when he said it's a game that doesn't want to be played he was referring to how often you can find yourself in a position where you're still going somewhere or training skills without you actually needing to be there.

I played Everquest for years, loved it. I played WoW for a couple years, it wasn't bad. I played a few other MMOs (L2, RFO, etc.) for a few months here and there, so I've played my fair share of MMOs. I tried EVE for awhile. I hated it, it felt like I should have brought a book to read while I played, and seriously wtf kinda game is so uninvolving that you need something else to entertain you while you play it? I don't think I've ever been quite so bored, I've had trips to the dentist that were more exciting.

I wouldn't call it a "bad" game so much as I would call it a game that's designed for hardcore casual players, players who're going to stick to a game for a long long time to max themselves out in it, but don't have the time and/or desire to just sit and play for hours each day. If that's YOUR thing than that's your thing.

 

[KenzS]

THANK YOU YAHTZEE! You've shown the obvious point of MMORPGs that its socially-deprived players fail to see

 

[hammarus]

THANK YOU YAHTZEE! You've shown the obvious point of MMORPGs that its socially-deprived players fail to see

Which is? Don't leave us "socially-deprived" hanging.

 

[noin007]

Clearly Yahtzee doesn't like MMOs, so he is qualified to rate EVE as one how? Sounds like we have another pubescent individual with attention deficit disorder getting a job at a semi informational and sometimes funny online gamers news forum wishing he really was working for a legitimate magazine like Time or Newsweek, but since he doesnt have the staying power will settle for Glamour or Cosmo doing the weekly filler articles. Creating an, albit funny, cartoon that punches one of its advertisers somehow seems really dumb to me.

Oh yeah, the article makes fun of a game. I say go back to your mind numbing rock'em sock'em self involved game on a console, where you can finish a game with 3 hours of gameplay versus a game that has been around more than 5 years. That way you can feel you are satisfied and get that instant gratification you and other impulse buyers crave.

FANBOY ANGRY. FANBOY SMASH!

Now, what's wrong with playing for fun instead of feeling achieved at sitting at your computer playing a simulation of real life if real life was significantly faster, without aging or physical traits slowing you down and set in boring as all heck space?

I just don't derive any fun from Eve and I certainly don't feel a sense of achievement over a simple and easy game - the only things you need are patience and real life money to pay for the game time - until you're in the ranks of the ultral33t of Eve and pay your game time with ISK. After that, you just need enough time to throw away.

So the only thing left is socializing which I can do IRL - and it's much better IRL, with better rewards too.

What does keep you fanboys going? Lost money?

You equate a space simulation to real life? And ask me whats wrong with playing for fun.

Some people like football, some like swimming, others like checkers. What is your point really? I was criticizing the author of an article that is supposed to somehow be informational in a tongue and cheek way, when Yahtzee admits a dislike for MMOs.

You say you don't derive any fun from EVE, to each his own, and so why did you play? I assume you have quit by now, if you ever did play. And by play I mean more than the introductory period, and with a level of involvement that Yahtzee seems to bypass for the expediency of creating a funny story to poke the eye of yet another MMO which has already been done to death in other "eye poking" stories about other MMOs which Yahtzee hates.

I find a so called journalist who hates MMOs commenting on MMOs as a way of rating them is lame even if its funny. I would say the same if Yahtzee was talking about console games after Yahtzee just mentions a hatred for all console games.

Personally, I like all MMOs in their own ways, call me eclectic. The point of them is the point of this "online rag" Escapism

He mentions the reason for why he was commenting on EVE, because he was told it was a new/different kind of MMO, one not trying to be WoW. I don't know about anyone else but I don't go to online reviewers to decide if I want a game or not, I just listen/watch for the entertainment cause he's funny even though I normally disagree with him cause we have very different tastes.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Clearly Yahtzee doesn't like MMOs, so he is qualified to rate EVE as one how? Sounds like we have another pubescent individual with attention deficit disorder getting a job at a semi informational and sometimes funny online gamers news forum wishing he really was working for a legitimate magazine like Time or Newsweek, but since he doesnt have the staying power will settle for Glamour or Cosmo doing the weekly filler articles. Creating an, albit funny, cartoon that punches one of its advertisers somehow seems really dumb to me.

Oh yeah, the article makes fun of a game. I say go back to your mind numbing rock'em sock'em self involved game on a console, where you can finish a game with 3 hours of gameplay versus a game that has been around more than 5 years. That way you can feel you are satisfied and get that instant gratification you and other impulse buyers crave.

FANBOY ANGRY. FANBOY SMASH!

Now, what's wrong with playing for fun instead of feeling achieved at sitting at your computer playing a simulation of real life if real life was significantly faster, without aging or physical traits slowing you down and set in boring as all heck space?

I just don't derive any fun from Eve and I certainly don't feel a sense of achievement over a simple and easy game - the only things you need are patience and real life money to pay for the game time - until you're in the ranks of the ultral33t of Eve and pay your game time with ISK. After that, you just need enough time to throw away.

So the only thing left is socializing which I can do IRL - and it's much better IRL, with better rewards too.

What does keep you fanboys going? Lost money?

Because we hate people who are like you, And other instant gratifies. Frat boys stay on halo 3, Mature people play eve.

 

[guyy]

Haha, that was great. Someone else finally thinks EVE is stupid. Once you get bored of its semi-flashy graphics, you realize there's not much else to it...

...well, besides all the incredibly complex leveling/equipment/weapons/ships/etc. system. Though, to me, that stuff is more annoying than fun.

If [a href="http://www.infinity-universe.com/Infinity/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=27"]this[/a] ever comes out, I might actually try a space MMO for once; it's everything EVE should have been but isn't. Until then, I guess I'm stuck in the even smaller whiny city of people who hate EVE.

 

[JonahNYC]

Old saying that a lot of children online don't get:

One man's meat is another man's poison.

Ben doesn't seem to get it either.

 

[Xennith]

[bitter nerd rage directed at eve players]

tl;dr - Judgement was accurate. Should really have tried being part of a corp. God, EVE players are dicks.

I'm sorry you lost your ship the first time you went into low sec, told said PvPer exactly how you felt in this in eve mail/local/the forums, got mocked for it by everyone and then rage quit eve.

Actually, not a single part of that is true.
Like many players, the first time I went through low-sec was perilous as a novice, but it took the third trip to do me in, and like any EVE player who can survive the game, I just picked up the pieces and moved on, like a sane person.
I never even talked to the low-sec pirates that ambushed me and my corpmates, and I never posted on the forums about it, nor was I mocked for it.
And I still play EVE, as part of a growing 0.0 alliance in the Catch region, friendly with IAC, CVA, Vanguard, and Sylph.

You see, I have a loathing of griefers, more than anything else, but I also understand that they DO only represent a small portion of the EVE populous, the problem is that even representing a mere fraction of the playerbase, they happen to also be, statistically, the most destructive and the most loud-mouthed (Just look at the forums sometime).

So while I'm a little upset by the fact people ARE willing to suspend their morality in virtual universe that begs for it not to be, I also refuse to let that interfere with my own enjoyment of the game, and I'm on a personal quest (A crusade, if you will) to prove that you don't have to be a morally depraved killing machine to be successful in EVE.

So far, so good.

 

[guyy]

Old saying that a lot of children online don't get:

One man's meat is another man's poison.

It's not wrong to like EVE. I just don't. It's not worth my time or my money, let alone both; but if you think it's worth yours, go ahead and play it.

Also, a lot of people (including me) act unusually sarcastic and arrogant when posting in a ZP thread, for obvious reasons.

 

[Metrin_Slerba]

I've played EVE for 5 months. I Get most of the fun out of this game during the corp-ops(Much like a party in any other hack 'n' slash). It's fun to go out with friends to fly fleet missions, etc. Everything Yathzee points out in this review is pretty much true. Doesn't bother me tho, there are much worse games out there.

 

[Mistah Kurtz]

I play eve off and on once in a while, but i ususally get bored with it even before my month runs out and don't end up picking it up for another 3-4 months again. I think i'm pretty much done with it now, it takes too much time to accomplish anything and I'm not willing to invest any more money into a virtual life

 

[SgtFlaman]

Boy am I glad someone finally opened my eyes. When you get to the point that it takes a week or more to learn a skill, one must ask themselves 'why am I paying for this?"

 

[Sigenrecht]

I disagree. As I said earlier, I think that the space simulator peaked with the development of Frontier: Elite 2 and Frontier: First Encounters, and for good reason. Apart from the Frontier series, few other space combat simulators have ever had Newtonian physics, and none apart from the Frontier series have it so accurate that Lagrangian points, geostationary orbit and actual relative movement are simulated (also, oblated stars. Oblated stars). Few other space combat simulators allow the player to actually accurately land on planets, without some sort of animation. If you want a "thinking man's game", the Newtonian physics present in Frontier will test your mind a lot more, and in realistic fashion, than the combat present in EVE Online, which fudges things terribly when it comes to realism.

Unfortunately, David Braben's constant insistence on making the Elite/Frontier games into the most groundbreaking experiences possible will prevent an MMO-capable Elite 4. That, and it would be completely unsaleable, because the Newtonian physics would throw nearly everybody off balance in a multiplayer game.

Really, throughout your entire post, you were laying down praise upon the Frontier series of games because of your opinion of it as the end-all space simulator, but to be honest, EVE isn't supposed to be taken seriously as a space simulator in the same sense a lot of games are, with physics systems like inertia, complete freedom and mobility in space, the kinetic force of being hit by a small tactical nuclear warhead radiating in the direction opposite to yours, and so on. There are certainly mathematical mechanics involved in it, for sure, but to go from point ABC in space to point XYZ in space is as simple (or limited) as right-clicking on it and telling your fantastically omnipresent thrusters in that direction (this isn't accounting for just double-clicking in the general direction you want to go).

What I meant by EVE being a thinking man's game is that you always have to be one step ahead of the curb to get ahead at all; you'll have to play the market spanning not only a system, but entire handfuls of the New Eden universe, prepare for ideal situations in which you'll be ambushed, ambushing, running, scouting, crippling, tanking, damaging, supporting, intercepting, etc. There's simply no other way to succeed but to plan ahead for all likely outcomes. You'll have to play friends and enemies like dogs, infiltrate establishments set by players and throw them down, and form alliances with people who you can depend on the not send a cruise missile up your sub-light engines every time yuo have the gall to turn the other way.

 

[Sigenrecht]

Haha, that was great. Someone else finally thinks EVE is stupid. Once you get bored of its semi-flashy graphics, you realize there's not much else to it...

...well, besides all the incredibly complex leveling/equipment/weapons/ships/etc. system. Though, to me, that stuff is more annoying than fun.

If [a href="http://www.infinity-universe.com/Infinity/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=27"]this[/a] ever comes out, I might actually try a space MMO for once; it's everything EVE should have been but isn't. Until then, I guess I'm stuck in the even smaller whiny city of people who hate EVE.

EVE doesn't -have- to be anything, because EVE is EVE, a thing entirely in and of itself, with the only expectations for it to live up to are those of the people who make the game (CCP). Infinity seems, while fascinating, HARDLY original.

 

[nastykerm]

Q.E.D.

Plus, I played Eve for two weeks and go so caught up in it I wanted to buy a sub. Until I realized I spent more time waiting than gaming and that I wasn't going to find a corp worth anything in a million years in Minmatar 1.0 space.

I must admit I'm a bit confused now. If you spent most of the time waiting, what was it that made you get caught up in it?

Finding a good corp can be a challenge, with all the diversity in EVE. But truth to be told, the starter systems (1.0-0.5) isn't the best places to look. What you should have been looking for (at the forums etc) is corporations who are established in low sec. It instantly transforms the playing field into something completely different than what you might experience in safe, empire space.

Id also like to make an additional comment, and thats to refute what some posters have said about older players being more powerful etc. This is completely false. Somethingawful came to EVE and formed an alliance that pretty much carved a name for themselves since day one. In the beginning they flew frigates and cruisers with crap equipment yet they still managed to kill stuff, and they worked their way up the ladder in a short amount of time. They competed with some of the biggest and oldest alliances in the game.

 

[KatsuExe]

Personally I'm not a fan of MMOs. I could never get into them plus who likes to pay money monthly just to play a game? And it probably doesn't help that I hate chatting with other players online.

 

[JonahNYC]

Old saying that a lot of children online don't get:

One man's meat is another man's poison.

It's not wrong to like EVE. I just don't. It's not worth my time or my money, let alone both; but if you think it's worth yours, go ahead and play it.

Also, a lot of people (including me) act unusually sarcastic and arrogant when posting in a ZP thread, for obvious reasons.

Again, there's a fine line between that and being a bully. Ben this time picks on a small, long-running MMO EVE Online, and seems to be viciously beating on one of the few MMOs that survive on fan loyalty, calling them supernerds, depicting them as fat and sweaty, and basically tossing Molotovs at them knowing they?ll never have a suitable response to his bullying. At least he didn?t imply the gamers were gay this time.