After watching someone play this game and have them explain it to me, this review hits it spot on. Yes, MMORPGs are work, but this game makes it seem like slavery. I would be paying to turn my computer off and walk away so I could level up? I would have to be a nerd who has penis envy (in which case I make up for it with a high level) or a complete idiot to go for that.
Zero Punctuation: Eve Online
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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are you kidding me?! as far as i can tell EVE is a free time death trap, you go in and you spend more time in teh staions fiddling with stats, i question that BF of hers in picking video games over beign with ur GF or any significant other persongeldonyetich post=6.70442.692808 said:I wouldn't be too quick to get him off EVE Online. It may not be a great game in terms of actual gameplay quality, but it amuses from an external virtual community standpoint.katerina_delicious post=6.70442.692787 said:
More importantly, you level-up in EVE Online at the same rate whether you're online or off. You might pry your significant other off EVE Online, but if he starts playing another MMORPG where all the leveling happens online, there'll be significantly less time for romance.
I liked the concept of EVE when I played the trial, but everything he said in the review is pretty much true. If I had to whine like a "what nerds are to nerds" though, I would say that Yahtzee was a little out of it to think that simple combat was the main focus. Heck, I bet you could take it out of the game entirely and you'd still have a pretty neat package.
[NSFW]
Too lazy to read all of this, but for anyone who wanted the "delightful porn" mentioned in the video go here: "http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Yahtzee".
Scroll about halfway down the page and-BAM!-there it is on the right.
[/NSFW]
Too lazy to read all of this, but for anyone who wanted the "delightful porn" mentioned in the video go here: "http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Yahtzee".
Scroll about halfway down the page and-BAM!-there it is on the right.
[/NSFW]
I play City of Heroes (and City of Villains) I wonder if he'll come rip them a new one some day. I know one thing he'll finally not be able to criticize. The character designer. CoH has no equipment that's visible and has the best character designer out there. You can make anything! lol I just made a pirate cyborg that can leap over a building in a single bound and shoots radiation out his eyes.
Right idea, but late to the ball. Space was already made boring by Master of Orion III. Nothing like a game that quite literally plays itself.
You can customize the colonization and production of worlds you explore, but then the computer takes over for you anyway and makes the world more like the way IT wants it to be, negating the entire premise of customizable worlds.
Negotiation between alien races only involves clicking the correct response to the appropriate race every single time you talk (not unlike always insulting a Klingon, always being a tool to a Vulcan, and always buying a beer for a Terran).
Battle ships are customizable but it doesn't matter because long range weapons in space allow combat while they are still lo-res 2600-era dots on your screen, and by the time the "action" zooms in enough to see the ships, the battle's already over because, yes, the computer fights those for you too.
What's the point in buying a game to play when the computer does all the work and you feel so utterly disconnected from the experience that you literally do not know what your empire is doing from one turn to the next?
So Eve is really just what would happen if MoO3 and WoW had a love child together.
You can customize the colonization and production of worlds you explore, but then the computer takes over for you anyway and makes the world more like the way IT wants it to be, negating the entire premise of customizable worlds.
Negotiation between alien races only involves clicking the correct response to the appropriate race every single time you talk (not unlike always insulting a Klingon, always being a tool to a Vulcan, and always buying a beer for a Terran).
Battle ships are customizable but it doesn't matter because long range weapons in space allow combat while they are still lo-res 2600-era dots on your screen, and by the time the "action" zooms in enough to see the ships, the battle's already over because, yes, the computer fights those for you too.
What's the point in buying a game to play when the computer does all the work and you feel so utterly disconnected from the experience that you literally do not know what your empire is doing from one turn to the next?
So Eve is really just what would happen if MoO3 and WoW had a love child together.
I don't entirely agree with the points raised, as a trial-user myself, but I can see many of the arguments offered - EVE's revolutions and what makes it unique is in the metagame that surrounds it - the subterfuge, the corporations, etcetera. However, he's right that the game itself is, in many cases, absolutely fucking boring.
And with a week or two to review a game, it was obvious what flaws were going to be noticed.
And with a week or two to review a game, it was obvious what flaws were going to be noticed.
Ah, another MMORPG. Are there any of those fucking things that are worth coffee beans shat out of a cat's ass?
Frankly, I'm probably more biased against MMO's that even Yahtzee as I detest internet chat rooms and playing a shitty game attached to a chat room sounds like a special created just for me. Well, isn't that sweet.
Although, I have to admit that the people online are a mere annoyance that could be overlooked like a yeast infection that only itches occasionally if I found the game worth play, and no, I don't. All of that RPG tomfoolery can go fuck themselves and Tom, too. I detest creating a character, picking stats, skill, equipment, underpants, etc. I detest completing quest to gain experience to build up my character. Just everything about these things is designed specifically to piss me off. These are not fun things to do. Make the game fun, or fuck off. This is what MMO creators should do.
Frankly, I'm probably more biased against MMO's that even Yahtzee as I detest internet chat rooms and playing a shitty game attached to a chat room sounds like a special created just for me. Well, isn't that sweet.
Although, I have to admit that the people online are a mere annoyance that could be overlooked like a yeast infection that only itches occasionally if I found the game worth play, and no, I don't. All of that RPG tomfoolery can go fuck themselves and Tom, too. I detest creating a character, picking stats, skill, equipment, underpants, etc. I detest completing quest to gain experience to build up my character. Just everything about these things is designed specifically to piss me off. These are not fun things to do. Make the game fun, or fuck off. This is what MMO creators should do.
To you morons who think Yahtzee's 14-day based disapproval is justification for thinking the game just another badly-made World of Warcraft clone, or a generally bad-made game altogether, go become a Scientologist or something, since you're a unimaginative, lazy ewe who likes to live on a whim. Yes, as he is a reviewer, you would do good to heed the opinion of a learned man like Mr. Croshaw when trying to form an opinion of a game yourself. The key words here are 'form an opinion of a game yourself'. Really, you should know by now whether you like EVE or not. Unlike WoW who tries to cater to all, fails, but still reaps in enough profits to but their own private island and pay a marching band of moaning whores to walk down the office every day, EVE is a game that, while you take as much out of it as you put in to it like all other games of the genre, you have to do more than this to excel. Dull, tedious and unintuitive at times? For certain. It doesn't make it any worse than point and click games ( well, to be honest, EVE is pretty point-and-click to an even greater extent, but try to get my point )'like' WoW, which is some compromise between traditional roleplaying games and the frothy-mouthed world of first-person action shooters.
It's the true thinking man's game, and to get the most out of it, you'd really have to have a degree from an Ivy League school in mathematics and economics. But kind of like I'd need to have been dropped rather frequently as a child to still pay for World of Warcraft in proportion to how much ACTUAL enjoyment I'm still getting out of it, you like what you like, and don't what you don't. I certainly don't like not being able to take in all of the complex firing rate to tracking speed to weapon velocity to target velocity mathematics that I at times have to crunch to get the best out of my marketing decisions, and much less having to fly half across the fucking universe just to buy a gun for 20% cheaper than the one I could've bought in my own station, but I do enjoy having a sleek, gold-plated pimp machine that pumps out red streams of coherent photons... of death, all the same time pulling that pesky little darting frigate closer to me with large waves of gravity-manipulating energy.
You know, kind of like I hate having to kill x amount of x for x bloody hours just to afford to get x magical codpiece of the lion's bullocks.
It's the true thinking man's game, and to get the most out of it, you'd really have to have a degree from an Ivy League school in mathematics and economics. But kind of like I'd need to have been dropped rather frequently as a child to still pay for World of Warcraft in proportion to how much ACTUAL enjoyment I'm still getting out of it, you like what you like, and don't what you don't. I certainly don't like not being able to take in all of the complex firing rate to tracking speed to weapon velocity to target velocity mathematics that I at times have to crunch to get the best out of my marketing decisions, and much less having to fly half across the fucking universe just to buy a gun for 20% cheaper than the one I could've bought in my own station, but I do enjoy having a sleek, gold-plated pimp machine that pumps out red streams of coherent photons... of death, all the same time pulling that pesky little darting frigate closer to me with large waves of gravity-manipulating energy.
You know, kind of like I hate having to kill x amount of x for x bloody hours just to afford to get x magical codpiece of the lion's bullocks.
I just have to ask - what is a purpose of having an advert for Zero Punctuation after the review?
Come on. We've already watched it. We know that Zero Punctuation is posted every Wednesday on The Escapist. WE'RE ALREADY THERE!!!
Just wondering...
Come on. We've already watched it. We know that Zero Punctuation is posted every Wednesday on The Escapist. WE'RE ALREADY THERE!!!
Just wondering...
I never saw what the big deal was about eve. Basically I think people like it because they wanted to play an MMO in space. Fuck 'em.
I personally have only gotten into one MMO ever, and it's called Asda Story. It's not well known, and it does have a lot of the same crappy MMO elements, but there's a lot of other interesting things thrown in.
You can make a soul bond with another person and have extra abilities and experience points just for doing so, for example. Also there's some real strategy involved as when I'm attacking a monster, I tend to get gangraped by all his friends unless I (as an archer) shoot a magical arrow that makes them bleed a good 50 hit points every couple seconds and then another one that hits everyone within range of the one I was aiming at that poisons them for 200 hit points every quarter of a minute, then focus my alternating 'normal kicking-things-around' attack and my special 'press the 6 key after the skill cools' attack on the one that still has the most health and the least bleeding. Then by the time I kill that one, the other three are already dead. That's a feeling of accomplishment, right there.
Oh yeah, the best thing about Asda is that I don't have to pay for it.
One more thing. If 14 days isn't enough time to know whether or not I like a game or not, then first of all, what the fuck is the purpose of the free trial, if not to make people like it enough by the end to buy it? Second of all, I need immediate satisfaction, personally.
I personally have only gotten into one MMO ever, and it's called Asda Story. It's not well known, and it does have a lot of the same crappy MMO elements, but there's a lot of other interesting things thrown in.
You can make a soul bond with another person and have extra abilities and experience points just for doing so, for example. Also there's some real strategy involved as when I'm attacking a monster, I tend to get gangraped by all his friends unless I (as an archer) shoot a magical arrow that makes them bleed a good 50 hit points every couple seconds and then another one that hits everyone within range of the one I was aiming at that poisons them for 200 hit points every quarter of a minute, then focus my alternating 'normal kicking-things-around' attack and my special 'press the 6 key after the skill cools' attack on the one that still has the most health and the least bleeding. Then by the time I kill that one, the other three are already dead. That's a feeling of accomplishment, right there.
Oh yeah, the best thing about Asda is that I don't have to pay for it.
One more thing. If 14 days isn't enough time to know whether or not I like a game or not, then first of all, what the fuck is the purpose of the free trial, if not to make people like it enough by the end to buy it? Second of all, I need immediate satisfaction, personally.
Its one of those games that only appeals to a few people.
To be honest, I got the 21 day steam free trial, and very much enjoyed it. There where a few things that where total arse, but something about it grabbed me. However, at the very end of my trial, when the 'BUY NOW' words flashed across my screen...
Do I really want to pay for this?
Answer?
NO.
To be honest, I got the 21 day steam free trial, and very much enjoyed it. There where a few things that where total arse, but something about it grabbed me. However, at the very end of my trial, when the 'BUY NOW' words flashed across my screen...
Do I really want to pay for this?
Answer?
NO.
This is about the first review that I've actually disagreed with.
Actually no, I'll correct that. I agree with everything that you've just said; because the only part that you played/reviewed was the part of the game which is there because there's an unbelievable amount of people in the world who want to pay for a massively MULTIPLAYER online game and then play it by themselves. The developers have to shoe-horn single player missions into games so that that sort of person has something to do without having to make friends or socialise in any way. That part of the game is incredibly tedious, pointless and generally not fun in the slightest. The only problem is that this is the part of the game that all new players are introduced to; resulting in most new players thinking that this is what EVE is about. It's not.
The real point of EVE is the social and political aspect of the game, it is entirely possible to get to that point in the game without losing your entire life over it, in fact it's designed to be like that, which is why the skill training carries on when you aren't online so that you can still progress even if you only actively play once a week.
All that being said though, it's an immensely complicated game. The only reason that I have any clue about it at all is because I've been playing on and off since it was released when the game was significantly simpler, if I was starting from scratch right now it would be a nightmare and I would be completely put off.
So yeah, I agree with this review; I just think it's a shame that the good part of EVE is so difficult to get to because I've found that it has been one of the most rewarding and thrilling MMOGs that I've ever played; you just can't achieve anything meaningful enough to hook you in within the 14 day trial or significantly longer than that. Particularly if you only play alone.
Actually no, I'll correct that. I agree with everything that you've just said; because the only part that you played/reviewed was the part of the game which is there because there's an unbelievable amount of people in the world who want to pay for a massively MULTIPLAYER online game and then play it by themselves. The developers have to shoe-horn single player missions into games so that that sort of person has something to do without having to make friends or socialise in any way. That part of the game is incredibly tedious, pointless and generally not fun in the slightest. The only problem is that this is the part of the game that all new players are introduced to; resulting in most new players thinking that this is what EVE is about. It's not.
The real point of EVE is the social and political aspect of the game, it is entirely possible to get to that point in the game without losing your entire life over it, in fact it's designed to be like that, which is why the skill training carries on when you aren't online so that you can still progress even if you only actively play once a week.
All that being said though, it's an immensely complicated game. The only reason that I have any clue about it at all is because I've been playing on and off since it was released when the game was significantly simpler, if I was starting from scratch right now it would be a nightmare and I would be completely put off.
So yeah, I agree with this review; I just think it's a shame that the good part of EVE is so difficult to get to because I've found that it has been one of the most rewarding and thrilling MMOGs that I've ever played; you just can't achieve anything meaningful enough to hook you in within the 14 day trial or significantly longer than that. Particularly if you only play alone.