Zero Punctuation: Fable 2
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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Actually Fallout 3 is pretty good in terms of how they created the wasteland etc.
Still it's one of the worst written games I've ever played.
To paraphrase something somebody wrote on No Mutants Allowed:
Fallout 3 Dialog
NPC: Whooo, what do you think of my dialog?
[Intelligence] Dialog is what we use to communicate.
[Perception] Are you saying dialog is what we use to communicate?
-You're dialog is good.
-Die!
I'm not even gonna mention fuck ups such as Lamplight,Tenpenny Ghoul Quest or Power of the Atom.
Still it's one of the worst written games I've ever played.
To paraphrase something somebody wrote on No Mutants Allowed:
Fallout 3 Dialog
NPC: Whooo, what do you think of my dialog?
[Intelligence] Dialog is what we use to communicate.
[Perception] Are you saying dialog is what we use to communicate?
-You're dialog is good.
-Die!
I'm not even gonna mention fuck ups such as Lamplight,Tenpenny Ghoul Quest or Power of the Atom.
I really hope people won't be taking this review too seriously.
I'm a big fan of ZP, and Yahtzee's work outside of the Escapist - particularly the John DeFoe games - but I can still clearly see that this was nothing but a rant, not a review.
Yahtzee usually provides something to agree with, something that isn't just nitpicking, but this was fairly pathetic, to the point where I found myself slightly angered.
I understand the need to entertain, but it seems that with this, and the previous few reviews, Yahtzee is starting to sacrifice his integrity as a reviewer, for the sake of humour.
If you want to beat up children, you shouldn't be looking for it on video games - I was under the impression that it was common knowledge that violence against children was a big no-no in the gaming industry, yet Yahtzee seems unaware of this, as he's gone ahead and complained about it.
I also find this rather contradictory - recently in an article for news.com.au Yahtzee wrote about the censorship of Silent Hill. In this article, he wrote that anyone who claimed that violence was essential to the gaming experience was A) More or less wrong and B) Slightly psychopathic. Yet here he is, complaining that being unable to hit children somehow damages his enjoyment.
This video was as funny as usual, but lacked credibility; please don't do what most Yahtzee fans do, and take this as divine gospel - do not let this rant sway your opinion of Fable 2.
Then again, I personally love Fable 2, and worship it as a beacon of hope in the gaming industry, so perhaps I'm heavily biased myself.
EDIT; To clarify - As a rant, this was hilarious. As a review...pretty damn poor.
Also, the issue with violence against children in games is interactivity. You're allowed to watch a child get shot, but you are not allowed to shoot a child yourself. There is a difference, there; watching a child be shot is one thing, wanting to and trying to shoot a child yourself is, well, pushing the limit of acceptible content.
I'm a big fan of ZP, and Yahtzee's work outside of the Escapist - particularly the John DeFoe games - but I can still clearly see that this was nothing but a rant, not a review.
Yahtzee usually provides something to agree with, something that isn't just nitpicking, but this was fairly pathetic, to the point where I found myself slightly angered.
I understand the need to entertain, but it seems that with this, and the previous few reviews, Yahtzee is starting to sacrifice his integrity as a reviewer, for the sake of humour.
If you want to beat up children, you shouldn't be looking for it on video games - I was under the impression that it was common knowledge that violence against children was a big no-no in the gaming industry, yet Yahtzee seems unaware of this, as he's gone ahead and complained about it.
I also find this rather contradictory - recently in an article for news.com.au Yahtzee wrote about the censorship of Silent Hill. In this article, he wrote that anyone who claimed that violence was essential to the gaming experience was A) More or less wrong and B) Slightly psychopathic. Yet here he is, complaining that being unable to hit children somehow damages his enjoyment.
This video was as funny as usual, but lacked credibility; please don't do what most Yahtzee fans do, and take this as divine gospel - do not let this rant sway your opinion of Fable 2.
Then again, I personally love Fable 2, and worship it as a beacon of hope in the gaming industry, so perhaps I'm heavily biased myself.
EDIT; To clarify - As a rant, this was hilarious. As a review...pretty damn poor.
Also, the issue with violence against children in games is interactivity. You're allowed to watch a child get shot, but you are not allowed to shoot a child yourself. There is a difference, there; watching a child be shot is one thing, wanting to and trying to shoot a child yourself is, well, pushing the limit of acceptible content.
After I felt extremely lukewarm about last weeks review, you have once again proved that given the right mindset, you are capable of bringing great joy into my life...now why you would want to boggles my fragile mind so I will proceed to play with my dogs face, but I will, instead, call him Bullet.
See above, issue is interactivity, not the content itself.Tietsu said:
Hell, Pulp Fiction had a child being shot, but wanting to and actually shooting a child in the head yourself, is really pushing the limits.
You wouldn't want child-rape in your games, you shouldn't absolutely need to put a bullet in their head, or cut them up, either.
i ultimately didnt want to get fable, and i probably wont now. the dog sounds like it will be annoying, a lot of stuff sounds pretty pointless, and apparently its the same as the first game. also you cant kill kids, but you can kill adults. i would like to be able to kill them, not because im a psychotic who fucking hates kids, but also i think that it makes the game inconsistent with itself. and because a lot of games do this, like fallout. and what difference does it make? will they look psychotic when you can kill children? oh but apparently killing adults is perfectly ok. back on track i would love to do something in the game where i can imitate something, like a world with only adults so i can imitate children of men NO! dont take me back ill be good! please put away the big needle and funny jacket! i meant to say i wish i could kill pretty much everyone and destroy the buildings like in mercenaries and imitate the apocalypse but apparently we cant do that because thats also psychotic, or maybe because theres "not enough processing power" well mercs did it why cant you?
Honestly, I normally tend to more or less agree with Yahtzee but write a sort of "yeah but" as a response. This week I really can't. He's 100% spot on. I got Fable 2, it was fun for a little while, I beat the story right as it was getting really tedius, and then traded it in towards Dead Space while it was still worth something.
At any rate the only real points Yahtzee misses that I can see are:
#1: He didn't make any comments about re-animating the corpse of Lady Gray from the first game and then having the choice to Marry her. I mean come on Yahtzee, I expected at least one comment about this.
#2: He forgets to mention that there is stuff to do in the game after you beat the game. HOWEVER, there is one important catch. At the end you get three choices that basically coorespond to good, neutral, or evil. If you don't choose neutral you don't have the dog (which Yahtzee pointed out is a furry metal detector) which makes hunting down a good bit of the potentially remaining treasure in the game pointless.
So basically if you went good (like me) you pretty much screwed yourself.
Oh yes, and of course Yahtzee also missed the oppertunity to comment on the fact that the greatest treasure you can unlock for beating the game is (dum dum dee dum) a potion of gender reversal.
In case your wondering if your like a dude and then come home to your re-animated bride of frankenstein wife and explain you really want to try the lesbian thing, they barely even seem to notice.
That said, Yahtzee did a good job but had enough material to extend this a good minute and it was kind of annoying to see his glaring omissions. I wanted to see some well articulated bile on these points.
We need a "Zero Punctuation: Director's Cut" for this week.... or would that be "Zero Puntuation: The Lost Chapters"
>>>----Therumancer--->
At any rate the only real points Yahtzee misses that I can see are:
#1: He didn't make any comments about re-animating the corpse of Lady Gray from the first game and then having the choice to Marry her. I mean come on Yahtzee, I expected at least one comment about this.
#2: He forgets to mention that there is stuff to do in the game after you beat the game. HOWEVER, there is one important catch. At the end you get three choices that basically coorespond to good, neutral, or evil. If you don't choose neutral you don't have the dog (which Yahtzee pointed out is a furry metal detector) which makes hunting down a good bit of the potentially remaining treasure in the game pointless.
So basically if you went good (like me) you pretty much screwed yourself.
Oh yes, and of course Yahtzee also missed the oppertunity to comment on the fact that the greatest treasure you can unlock for beating the game is (dum dum dee dum) a potion of gender reversal.
In case your wondering if your like a dude and then come home to your re-animated bride of frankenstein wife and explain you really want to try the lesbian thing, they barely even seem to notice.
That said, Yahtzee did a good job but had enough material to extend this a good minute and it was kind of annoying to see his glaring omissions. I wanted to see some well articulated bile on these points.
We need a "Zero Punctuation: Director's Cut" for this week.... or would that be "Zero Puntuation: The Lost Chapters"
>>>----Therumancer--->
Yeah, I noticed that too. Between getting head from the vacuum cleaner, the comment about none of the women being willing to show their tits while having sex, and the blacksmith having to buy the house for his "**** wife", I'm wondering what type of women he's been hanging around and if that has anything to do with this review?Mstrswrd said:
All in all, hilarious review. I laughed pretty hard.
Great review as always, I watched the ending 5 times and I'm still laughing out loud, can't wait to show my brother. Finally a truthful Fable 2 review
Awesome. I did do some donuts on memory lane this week, although I didn't know Yahtzee did the Darkness before Fable. Anyway, fantastic way to destroy a game that's been getting way too much praise. (much like every videogame these days)
I feel the same. I found myself withdrawn from the humour in the review as I was wondering why it was so unnecessarily harsh. It is a good game, simplistic, but accessible, witty and fun. I think it's one of the more polished games I've seen with so little frustration it helps gloss over it's short-comings.Qayin said:
