Zero Punctuation: Fable 2

NGW

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Jan 8, 2009
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I never really cared for the first Fable, too much promise that fell short, and it just felt like an average experience overall.

With that, really had no hype for the second one. So a friend and I decide to rent it, at least that way we could say we gave it a shot to have some legitimacy to our criticisms.

I don't see why so many people praise the game as they do. It really just felt like a lackluster experience to me. It wasn't really bad, but it just didn't have any sort of lasting impression on me.
 

LordKraven

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Dec 24, 2008
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Well oh well, I like fable games, they are very short but fun. But it's all a matter of opinion.
 

dudeindrag93

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Nov 12, 2008
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*spoiler* :p
right me and my friend finished playing fable earlier today and i fucking hated it but i don't know why probably yahtzee but whatever, just wondering in the game, why the fuck would you want to save your dog hes an irritating munter, i just took the money, left the spire, bought the castle and changed sex bored now :p
 

Amoreyna

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Jan 12, 2009
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BrainGamer said:
I did not call Yahtzee a liar, so I am not a villain. Unless I used the word "liar," you can't hold this against me. You merely took it that way. You're being rude and obnoxious, and it is very hard to hold a conversation when you continue to go on about me calling Yahtzee a liar, when I clearly did not. We aren't in Grade School, where kids go on and on about "he said this," and "he said that," I would hope.
I usually don't answer older posts but yours really takes the cake. You said that what Yahtzee said wasn't true, that it didn't happen in the game and that he stretched the whole dog bit. When you say something isn't true you are telling the person that they are lying even if that's not there intention.

Why you don't want to stand behind your original post is beyond me. You had a reason to say what you said, you aren't a villian you were merely pointing out what was wrong and saying that perhaps Yahtzee intentionally lied about some things for humor. There's nothing wrong with saying that - unless you feel guilty which you apparently do. In fact you went on for several paragraphs explaining why you weren't a liar that I took out for clarity. If you want to argue semantics we can, I am a Linguist but really all I'm saying is stand behind what you write and don't be intimidated by harsh words.

Personally I believe that he used this just to make a point about how useless the dog was at times.

BrainGamer said:
Moving on to your vast amount of links, I would just like to say that you do not have enough of them to change my opinion. Unless you can show me over 1,000 websites about Fable 2's glitch issues, each having over 100,000 hits, I will not agree with you that Fable 2 is so "glitched" that it should be recalled. Why, you may ask? Millions of people bought this game, and ten or so sites complaining about them will not cover all of those consumers. The game is bugged, I agree. The game is glitchy up the ass, I agree. However my gaming experience has been fine, and I don't even use Xbox live.
This is just plain absurd. You need vast amounts of websites to prove to you how glitched a game is? As though the number of websites is some sort of truth? And demanding 100,000 hits is just as silly. Not all people visiting these sites will have had glitches. Some may arrive there by accident, some may come to see what the fuss is all about and some may not even have the game yet and are just looking around to see what problems exist in it. So measuring a site by the number of hits is a poor way to prove that there is a problem.

Also you have to take into account that a good majority of people do not get online to complain about something. Some people just take care of things with the company or return the game in disgust without getting on line and starting a post or website detailing their every problem. What you would really need to see is the company log of how many people are having problems - that would far surpass anything you would find on the web.

There are many, many posts of people talking about how Fable II is not only bugged up completely but that it also crashed their Xbox. Amazon alone has many complaints about this very issue. If a game is that glitched that it is actually crashing the console then something should be done. The company announced that a patch was coming almost at the same time the game was released - doesn't that tell you that something isn't right? This game was released as a Beta version instead of finished product, probably so that they could meet their deadline and get it out for the Christmas holiday.

The company must stand behind their product. They need to give people their money back, acknowledge that problems exist and quickly find a way to fix them instead of just promising a future cure-all patch. Every company cares about bad press regardless of how many people are complaining. While I don't think the game should be recalled I do think drastic action needs to be taken or Lionhead Studios is going to be out of a lot of customers both current and future - those influenced by what is happening now and not wanting to become a customer in the first place.
 

DayDay8421

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Nov 10, 2008
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Laughing Atheist said:
DayDay8421 said:
Ben, you never cease to cause my face to contort every time I see one of your reviews. I remembr stumbling onto your Darkness and Fable reviews a good while ago and used to pray that one day we would see your reviews take off.

Awesome work Mr Croshaw, I almost peed me panties!
Oh god I hope you're a girl...cause if not...YOU WEAR PANTIES?????
erm... nice post! Great work.
 

DayDay8421

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Nov 10, 2008
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dudeindrag93 said:
why the fuck would you want to save your dog hes an irritating munter
I couldn't agree more. It annoyed me as much as the fact I couldn't smash in my sisters face with a rock! I even tried finding ways to poison the little barking shite-pipe!
 

DragonsAteMyMarbles

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Feb 22, 2009
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This game, like many others, seemed to have electronic bipolar disorder.

Sometimes it was brilliant - my dog would dive in to tear the intestines out of some supine bandit, shooting rabbits for kicks (and some gamerpoints, or whatever the Microsoft zombies decided to call them) and expelling a biologically impossible amount of methane toward a crowd of adoring halfwits.

At other times, it made me want to eat my controller - people following me into my own bloody house asking me to propose to them IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING WIFE, having to throw some of my inexplicably infinite supply of dog elixir at that infuriating little furbag to stop its interminable whimpering, and having people come up to tell me I was ugly just because I'd run out of coffee and had resorted to eating a meat pie.

And why, pray tell, are NPCs not surprised to learn that 'Heroes' (seriously, Molyneux could have come up with something better than that) have suddenly reappeared after a 500-year absence?

Gaaaaaack.
 

NeoDMC

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Feb 11, 2009
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The main problem that I have with this game is that it is peoples infatuation with it, is based solely on them playing make believe within the game world.

It is basically a Sims game for people who are too lazy to play the Sims, or who like a little cockney with their Sim stew.

As many people have said before, there isn't really any Immersion. The game fights tooth and nail to make sure you aren't "too" wrapped up in the reality of it. Be it people simply breaking into your house because you owning a house causes the doors to disintegrate, or the fact that everyone says the same thing, has the same routine, looks the same, and acts the same regardless of their different copy-paste names. How hard was it to incorporate essential NPC's into the game Peter?

Fable 2 is loved by people who can pretend there is meaning to the meaningless routine. I can see Fable fans just shuffling through scenarios in their head over what is going on. How this is fun to them for more than a week is beyond me.
 

untelligence

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May 19, 2009
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fable 2's story is alright but there are a few problems for me:
1) randomly killing people stops being fun after a while
2) the story is a bit too short for me
3) the hero of skill is a total git
4) Barnum finally becomes a success and reaver kills him (severe waste of side-quest time)
 

Arbitrary Cidin

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Apr 16, 2009
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Yeah, seems about right. I wonder if Lionhead ever realized that games where you get to make plot-signifigant choices as large scale as they are in the fable series would make a sequel look like a 13 year old fanboy on Youtube trying to post an episode of Naruto while dodging copywrite laws.
Other than that, they completely got rid of the only GOOD parts of the game, like where magic use is semi-possible and a five star weapon is better than a four star weapon. And who decided that assigning block and attack to the same button was a good idea? Now how am I supposed to press them both to throw? Instead, the character who has to buy his name, because his parents didn't give him one, waves his sword around in such a sketchy manner, it looks like he's just hoping the bandits have epilepsy and get a seizure.
Gah fuck, you made me talk like you.
 

JCNinjaBee

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Jun 6, 2009
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One day soon a new and fandibbydastic patch shalt be released so I can blast my dogs brains out as soon as he brings me the first utterly useless accesory, so after about 10 minutes of game play!
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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Well I didn't think Fable II was that bad. My biggest complaint with it was the same as my biggest complaint with Fable I, and that's that the main story was too bloody short.
Now I know you've made you're career out of nitpicking the hell out of games Yahtzee, but sometimes you have to be reasonable. Yeah it would've been nice if every NPC in the game had their own personality and mannerisms, but if they had done that, the game would've probably been like 15 disks long and cost like $300. Same with Oblivion, really.
 

Arbitrary Cidin

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Apr 16, 2009
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In response to your comment in the end credits, Yahtzee, the dog's probably your ancestor/ character from Fable 1. I base this on the fact that it was Peter Molyneux's idea.
 

beddo

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Dec 12, 2007
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I hope Peter Molyneux watched this review and it helped him understand what a crappy game he made.

I mean besides all the game flaws it looked awful, didn't have a free roaming open world and a need to fade to black to load a new area for when the user climbed a ladder.