Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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it was innevitable: typical complaints that dont make any sense:
- all the characters look weird
- strange names
- its turn-based
- its not brown
- I only played for a little bit because I want everything handed to me right at the start
I understand people not liking the game, its below average on the FF scale for me, but these complaints I could see a mile off, just because of the genre
- all the characters look weird
- strange names
- its turn-based
- its not brown
- I only played for a little bit because I want everything handed to me right at the start
I understand people not liking the game, its below average on the FF scale for me, but these complaints I could see a mile off, just because of the genre
Sigh, ditto, and I love Final Fantasy too...ikyda1 said:
XIII was such a fucking letdown that I can't bring myself to play any more, for once I actually find myself agreeing with Yahtzee, I hate the characters with a passion, the plot makes no sense and it's all just spectacle...The linearity in this instalment kills me too.
At least in prior games I had the feeling of a fairly large, open world from the word go, but eh...
Actually, that sums up my thoughts on the game pretty well. 'Eh...'
I just don't know where the magic went, FFXIII used to have likeable characters and an engrossing story, apparently that went out the window in favour of making it look pretty.
personally i think he should have waited for the DLC to come out b4 he played it. he still would have hated it though and i hope i will like the game but i have to finish ff 8-12 b4 i play it (by the way there is no fucking way i'm playing ff11 or chocobo chronicals. even "i" have some standard)
I gotta give the man credit for giving it a try.It turned out to be a surprisingly objective review.
Thanks.Axzarious said:Nice comic, I remember that part well, but I only died once there against Superpope. Anyways, am I one of the few people that actually had the plot put together by the time you were given the ability to shift through padagrims of whatever they are called? Heck, I didnt even have to read the primers to understand it.Archemetis said:I played for 30 hours, because I was really anticipating the game and oddly I enjoyed it, I intend to complete it too, someday.
But even I would be lying if I were to say that Yahtzee got most if not all points right on the money on this one.
Although I would've preferred an opinion built up on a worthwhile amount of time spent with the game.
Granted he hasn't got the time in a week for the full 50+ hour experience but somewhere between 10 and 15 hours would've been reasonable.
As for the exposition:
Yes I am aware it's in the game manual and the datalogs, but that doesn't excuse a lack of in-story exposition on the matter.
And no, I got it in time, like about 16 hours in I felt like I was finally up to speed. And I only found out about it being in the datalogs and game manual by the time I was 30 hours in (My internet was broken that whole week so FFXIII was all I had) Strangely 30 hours in is when the characters themselves finally start deciding what the hell they're doing. It felt liek we'd gotten through it all together.
It's still just a glaringly obvious and incredibly important detail to leave out for over half the time I'd been playing.
One of my friends asked me (after seeing that comic)
"Wow, were you not paying attention for 12 hours or something? or did it just go right over your head?"
I couldn't believe it.
In the fist 12 hours I swear to God they use the word l'Cie casually in the occasional* sentence, but not once ever care to explain in any significant way what the hell a l'Cie is.
And it's the basis for the entire story!
(OK, ok... EVERY sentence.)
After Yahtzee clearly stated that he hated the angsty and heavy-cinematic story of JRPGs and the lack of a speedy turn-based combat, I surely knew that his statement will stay the same even if he plays it for more than 5 hours.
FF13 was really a disappointment for me. I truly want Squeenix to perfect a good turn-based combat. It should be something fast, lesser cooldowns on everything (cooldowns should only exist in spells or specials than normal attacks), single-button attacks/hotkeys, but also hard to master or perfect.
Too bad such combat was not present. It was still too slow for me. And why is FF14 another MMORPG? There's also my hatred for the kooky spice(especially this) and ethnic spice. They're like the comedy relief of a very serious storyline, which never mixes together.
I just hope FF15 would be the ultimate JRPG, having fast and easy turn-based combat (NEVER auto-attack), far more explorable areas (RPGs are supposed to be for exploration), and interactive storytelling (any style in which the player is not required to read). But alas, this is highly unlikely.
I just hope the bar doesn't keep Yahtzee too busy to review future games. I was really expecting God of War 3 this week.
FF13 was really a disappointment for me. I truly want Squeenix to perfect a good turn-based combat. It should be something fast, lesser cooldowns on everything (cooldowns should only exist in spells or specials than normal attacks), single-button attacks/hotkeys, but also hard to master or perfect.
Too bad such combat was not present. It was still too slow for me. And why is FF14 another MMORPG? There's also my hatred for the kooky spice(especially this) and ethnic spice. They're like the comedy relief of a very serious storyline, which never mixes together.
I just hope FF15 would be the ultimate JRPG, having fast and easy turn-based combat (NEVER auto-attack), far more explorable areas (RPGs are supposed to be for exploration), and interactive storytelling (any style in which the player is not required to read). But alas, this is highly unlikely.
I just hope the bar doesn't keep Yahtzee too busy to review future games. I was really expecting God of War 3 this week.
FROCOBO FTW!Suskie said:
On topic though this was the first fial fantasy game I actually liked.
I enjoyed FF9, but that was the last one I could possibility play. FF10 was where I drew the line.ZippyDSMlee said:
I laughed at the review but, as people are probably posting right now as I type this, the time cards really broke up the build and flow of the review with complete dead space. If the dead space was intentional, I fail to see its effective use.
As has been said a hundred times before: I liked the credits animation.
As has been said a hundred times before: I liked the credits animation.
sent it to my mate in the hope that he'll realise he's wasting his life and could be putting his wrists to better use
good luck with barness (Y)
good luck with barness (Y)
Yahtzee hating a JRPG? I am surprise!!
in all seriousness I really like the game, because the story has actually engaged my (HELL of a lot more than I can say about 7, 8, 10 or to a lesser extent 12) and the combat is awesome.
in all seriousness I really like the game, because the story has actually engaged my (HELL of a lot more than I can say about 7, 8, 10 or to a lesser extent 12) and the combat is awesome.
In terms of FF, yeah maybe, but in general older games tend to be better than new ones. Also there were alot more FFs before the merge than after.JakeX said:Meh if you like those games, thats fine with me.stok3r said:
Just merely pointing out how the level of awesome dropped when that merge happened. Think about it
But still, FFVIII is one of the best, so your right in that respect lol
I have to agree with Yahtzee on this. I finished the game, but the first 30 hours are painful. The only thing that kept me going was the the fact that if I stopped I'd feel like a quitter. The story is mediocre (the beginning is awful), the characters have no depth, the villians (other than the MAIN MAIN villian) can hardly be considered villians, the combat is fun but the party AI is awful. All in all this game was a massive disappointment, it was a series of linear corridors that only serve as going from point A to point B for a cutscene every 5 minutes.
Returned it the day after I beat it. It's mediocre at best. Which is a shame because I expected them to make a quality game after it looked so good. Serves me right after thinking Uncharted 2 would be great and turned out to be mediocre as well. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame one me.
Returned it the day after I beat it. It's mediocre at best. Which is a shame because I expected them to make a quality game after it looked so good. Serves me right after thinking Uncharted 2 would be great and turned out to be mediocre as well. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame one me.
Weak Yahtzee, weak. I agree the first five hours were poorly paced and very little of the story was immediately apparent; however many of the plot-holes you're having a cry about are filled later on through means of flashbacks to the lead up of where you take control of the characters. To say other crap like character development is poor and combat feels hollow, is kind of redundant when you've played such a small fraction of the game. Your complaints are like a man who walks out at the beginning of star wars complaining about having to read all the flying words and claiming no emotional connection to the characters in aforementioned flying dialogue.
I'm sure there was some other shit in your video but true to your style Ben I can't be bothered reviewing the whole thing. I look forward to your reviews of the first 13 minutes of Harry Potter Lego and the first 23 seconds of Iron man 2 'the video-game'.
Try and actually commit yourself to a project this week instead of just having a cry that the plot doesn't resolve itself in the first 8th of the game.
I'm sure there was some other shit in your video but true to your style Ben I can't be bothered reviewing the whole thing. I look forward to your reviews of the first 13 minutes of Harry Potter Lego and the first 23 seconds of Iron man 2 'the video-game'.
Try and actually commit yourself to a project this week instead of just having a cry that the plot doesn't resolve itself in the first 8th of the game.
I really expected some jokes about how when the game came out in Japan it was named, "The First Great PS3 Tunnel Simulator", by people who actually sat through the whole thing. The lack of exploration was mentioned and all, but I guess it really doesn't sink in a ton from just 5 hours (no idea how few minutes of actual gameplay that would be myself).