Zero Punctuation: Gears of War 3

major_chaos

Ruining videogames
Feb 3, 2011
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why am I less than amazed that he likes that steaming turd Hard Reset just because its has some resemblance to painkiller even if it doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence
also I don't think its fair to completely dismiss and ignore a games story and then say that the story is bad, also the game has sold very well for "a relic". but anyway funny video even if I disagree that's the magic of ZP
 

CronoT

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May 15, 2010
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When Gears of War first came out, it was at least different ENOUGH from all the other gray-brown shooters to make an impact. Then, they just left it that way.

If the Rainbow Six games are the filet mignon of FPS games, Gears of War is sloppy joe's. It's tasty enough, but it's 80% filler by the time you finish eating it.
 
Dec 14, 2009
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I don't think anybody buys Gears for the single player.

I bought it so I can chainsaw the shit out of high pitched American teenagers.
 

TwistedEllipses

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Nov 18, 2008
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Gears of war 3 is the type of game where I'm curious how it ends, but don't really have an urge to play it...
 

Burning Flags

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May 2, 2010
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love the pre-emptive telling fanboys to fuck off, classic move.

Also, must wholeheartedly agree with this review. although i remember initially liking gears of war, i never actually finished one or two, and couldnt tell you which was which now!

given, it was very ploddy, but there must have been something good about it, surely?
 

therockdemon

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Mar 17, 2011
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i remember giving up on gears of war 1 when it finnished after 5 hours so i dont think i will play this one
 

Frostbite3789

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Jul 12, 2010
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Princess Rose said:
(and no hate on any other Teachers here - I lament the fact that we're expected to work miracles with a budget that couldn't buy used chewing gum)
Yeah, what the hell? Last week while I was at student teaching I found some gum underneath a desk and government official showed up and handed me a bill for it!

immortalslayer90 said:
Gears 3 is the first Gears game I have ever bought, and I honestly dont understand what is so great about these games. Seems pretty avaerage to me. It certaintly doesn't seem all that special. Great review by Yahtzee as always.
It's one of the few 360 exclusives they can tout around town. What else do they have left? The Halo series that MS has decided to beat to death with a baseball bat?
 

Not-here-anymore

In brightest day...
Nov 18, 2009
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Zhukov said:
One of the funnier episodes of recent weeks.

As for the game, while I have no love for the story, setting, characters etc, I did find the basic minute-to-minute gunplay to actually be good fun. It managed to improve on GoW2, which was okay, and GoW1, which was crap.
I agree with this person. The multiplayer's pretty good fun as a result.

The story, however, is a pile of crap. (Note: Just started act 4, but don't see it picking up any time soon). The fact that you have to rely on 3 or 4 novels to tell the story between games means you're doing it wrong. I suspect very few people read any of them - to stereotype unfairly:
[sup].[/sup] The hardcore manly man chainsaw-and-gore crowd can't read
[sup].[/sup] The story enthusiasts would be too embarrassed to pick up a gears of war novel

As a result, no-one has any idea where Jace or Sam have come from, or exactly how the entire government has fallen to shit.
 

CAPTCHA

Mushroom Camper
Sep 30, 2009
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Gears 3 strikes me as a pretty lazy release. I imagine that it was all but done months ago, the finishing touches being put on without any sense of urgency back when Bulletstorm was being shipped to stores.

ED: Not that I can get Gears 3, but I think I'd give it a miss anyway. The point of a trilogy is to follow the story, but Gears retcons the previous game with each release meaning there's no real story to be followed (unless you buy the books, which like arse I'm going to).
 

Tarkand

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Dec 15, 2009
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I actually liked Gears of War 1.

It was a 3rd person shooter, back when those were rare, and I personally enjoy the 3rd person point of view much more than the 1st person point of view (It always feels like you're just a floating disembodied hand holding a gun to me). The cover mechanism of Gear of War was also relatively new. I'm not a big enough fan of shooter to know if this GoW was the innovator here, but it certainly was the trend setter. And while I know Yahtzee and many others really dislike the 'chest high wall shooter', I personally like them. It feels a bit more realistic and more tactical than the run & gun approach of older shooters - you have to find good cover and you have to try and outmaneuver the opponent (and in the case of the Mass Effect series, you need to use your allies to provide cover fire/distraction) and I find that a lot more engaging than running in a room and hope you're quick enough on the trigger to kill everything before they kill you.

That being said, I skipped Gear of War 2 (and haven't bought GoW3) mainly because I feel like I've gotten my shooter fix (that's how big of a shooter fan I am - i.e. not very) in between it and the few shooters I've played over the years.

One of the thing that struck me as odd in Yatzhee's review is that he says 'GoW3 is the vestige of a dying age' or something to that effect... but then praises and begs for the return to an older formula. For one thing, the GoW age isn't that old... and we're still in it. For another, seem counter productive to just want to go back to the way things were.
 

Michael Logan

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Oct 19, 2008
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Daystar Clarion said:
I don't think anybody buys Gears for the single player.

I bought it so I can chainsaw the shit out of high pitched American teenagers.
I did, I acctually think the story is quite decent compared to alot of stuff that gets released these days.
 

immortalslayer90

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Nov 18, 2009
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Frostbite3789 said:
immortalslayer90 said:
Gears 3 is the first Gears game I have ever bought, and I honestly dont understand what is so great about these games. Seems pretty avaerage to me. It certaintly doesn't seem all that special. Great review by Yahtzee as always.
It's one of the few 360 exclusives they can tout around town. What else do they have left? The Halo series that MS has decided to beat to death with a baseball bat?
Your point is well seen. And kind of depressing.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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This is pretty true about Gears. I remember jack about the plot to 2, and I'm pretty sure there was no plot to 1.
 

EndlessSporadic

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May 20, 2009
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Nothing special about this game at all. Personally I hate third person shooters, and this game reminded me why. Aiming was kind of stupid, I was constantly playing with the inverted axis, and it really didn't teach you how to play at all. By the end of the game I still had no clue what was happening.