Zero Punctuation: God of War III

[Andaxay]

I was almost expecting a "like Dante's Inferno BUT..." I'm enjoying GoW3, the whole hack-y, slashy-y, button-mash-y, shove-blade-into-face thing is rather enjoyable, especially when combined with plenty of gory graphics. Good video, though, I laughed a lot.

 

[deadly.by.design]

In contrast with how I've been feeling about Yahtzee lately, this was a good review. Objective, critical, but not out-and-out skewering for reaction's sake.

 

[ElephantGuts]

I liked the dog metaphor. I would like to see more of that in the future.

 

[snow]

I'm convinced not to buy it now.

Don't be. It's a fun game with some pretty impressive graphics and great boss battles. Sure the story is weak, but well, this is God of War. Going into this for the story is just like going into Halo for new additions to the FPS genre and an epic storyline (atleast the games that is). After all, the first game in the series had the "power to kill a god" turn out to be a super mushroom in the form of a box. Also, I never once imagined that Kratos was actually the loving family man the game tried to paint him as given how he acts, so those scenes where they brought up his family always fell flat to me. Regardless though, the combat was fun and puzzles, while not always the most interesting, could turn out to be challenging, and 3 continues the tradition.

Mah, don't worry about him.. There's some one who says that in every Yahtzee thread.. If they're serious about it, then I feel sorry for them. A lot of people can't seem to tell the difference between Yahtzee hating a game and him actually liking it. Although most the time it's some one who's fresh to Zero Punctuation that don't understand he's also an entertainer as much as he's a reviewer.

Even if that's not the case then. Oh well, I guess you're gonna miss out on something you may have enjoyed. Yahtzee says something bad about every game. Even ones that I personally got a kick out of. He picks out some valid points about the game, but that doesn't mean they are any less fun.. To take the points he makes as the only focal point, then you're going to be very limited on the games you buy.

As for the video, seems like everyone at the Escapist is getting sick... That's a shame! Hopefully none of us catch interweb germs! hyuk hyuk hyuk... Get better soon!

Yahtzee, to no offense but you've actually gotten worse at these reviews than your early attempts.

What is with the monotone attitude? Throughout the whole review you have one stagnate voice and that's it....I mean, at least show your frustration or hate in the game rather than just general boredom in doing the review. Is your job really that boring? Sitting at a desk for 8 hours while taking in phone calls that are either directed to tech support or someone calling in to make a payment...THAT is boring. Review games with a cartoon video and zanny antics is fun...


Basically, bring back the old Yahtzee review attitude....or get out of the business.

He's sick man! Give the guy a break, lol.. I'm sure you've had to give a speech report in high school at one point in your life when you were feeling under the weather..

 

[daedrick]

Me want STALKER: CALL OF PRIPYAT!

He wont be able to say a single thing about bugs this time.

 

[sln333]

I almost wonder if a balloon with a face on it would be a better driver than some people...

 

[Mukil]

Hey! quick question. Im new to the escapist. Just wated to know why the first three posts got banned? I know you usually get banned for saying ill of someone. But as far as I can say it was nothing offensive? Just dont want to maek the same mistake! (I couldn't find forum rules on the featured content section)

 

[Andaxay]

Hey! quick question. Im new to the escapist. Just wated to know why the first three posts got banned? I know you usually get banned for saying ill of someone. But as far as I can say it was nothing offensive? Just dont want to maek the same mistake! (I couldn't find forum rules on the featured content section)

If you look at the times they posted, you'll see they clearly can't have watched the video by the time they post - ZP is posted at 5pm GMT, and some comments are at 5pm, 5.01pm, etc, for a video that is five minutes long. Most people get suspended for putting "first!" or stupid comments of the like, haha. Unless there's a problem with the video, there's no reason for such early, un-related comments.

 

[gillebro]

sounded like he only just managed to get himself out of bed and make a cup of instant coffee before recording, poor man.
The most I've laughed for a while. I particularly enjoyed cap'n narrative.

 

[shadoworc01]

YES! Someone else dislikes God Of War only slightly less than me! He didn't touch on my biggest problem -- the fact that gods are unkillable beasts and even Ragnarock directly from Norse myth is stretching it a bit -- but he still dislikes and that's good by me! Admittedly, there's a lot of things we feel opposite about. I thought that there wasn't enough variety and that it seemed like a bland mediocre Spectacle fighter, and I've always thought that Kratos needed to be slightly more horrific. Why do we need him to have morals? There's a point near the end when Pandora is about to leap into the fires of Olympus, and Kratos screams "NO!" At that exact moment I screamed "DON'T I'LL THROW YOU IN INSTEAD!" Beyond that, stellar review, and I hope Yahtzee's voice gets better soon.

 

[CK76]

Wait, did he describe Kratos as "the ancient world's most determine atheist"? He's a flipping god himself, how does that work?

 

[meepop]

I figured he would have liked it a bit more given the former's praise but i guess nothing is perfect. Not even portal anymore since they changed the ending...

This is off-topic but what do you mean they changed the ending? I got an update from Steam, played the last save I had before it had the end credits when Chell's being sucked up and out of GlaD0s, and I didn't see any new ending.

 

[Mydnyght]

Kratos and Nolan North in the same room? Yeah, Yahtzee, I'd kinda wanna see that happen too.

And six hours of teabagging the Sun God?.... Uh...hell of a thought there...

 

[dmcc85]

i felt some lack of emotion in yazees voice.
he usually gets somewhat exited by not breathing or whatever.
this time it really sonds as if he was just reading down his dialog in order to get this job done as fast as possible.
there were not half-ass many hairy-bumms or wells or other word similaritys in this than usuall.

i'd say like "zero punctuation" BUT...

anyways... i watched it!
over.

and over and over

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Two points--only first game was about forgiveness, while the second was about his panty-twist that his dad whupped his ass, whereupon he set out to wreck all of dad's stuff. Which he does, quite well. The second point is more subjective--spend a bit of time with the claws/cestus/whip and you will never go back to the shitty Blades of Exile again, except a time or two when you hit L1 + X to quickly cycle, or if you want the Spartan attack thingie. They play the same early on, but after an upgrade they play quite differently. The chain's only purpose is to avoid the uselessness of the God of War 2 weapons, which never got fucking used, and to keep the balletic movements of the combat.

 

[J-Alfred]

Oh, by the way, about the box art: am I the only one who finds it lazy?


But God of War III? A close up on the eye, staring at you. Is this really the best you can come up with? Is that really the best way to sucker in the gaming market that you could think of?

My bet is that since God of War III was one of the most hyped games ever to be made, they figured that they could just slack off on the box art and it wouldn't affect sales at all. Which it didn't. So I guess laziness has gone rewarded in this case.

It shows excellent graphic design. With having little going on in it with the red giving a high contrast against his white skin, it's very eye catching. Also, even though it's only an eye, you can instantly tell it's Kratos, and the frown shows he's an angry guy, which is what the whole game plays off of. The artists who made the game aren't lazy in the slightest seeing how there's tonnes of other promotional art out there and then there's the amazing design that went into the game it's self.

And do you honestly think that a game having a really huge, detailed picture on the box will increase it's sales?

I don't think it would boost the sales much, no. But the cover of a game can draw some new gamers into a series. That's why I feel that it doesn't matter so much here. Like Harry Potter, by this point everybody knows whether they like God of War or not, so drawing in new players isn't that important. I'm simply remembering that I picked up Kingdom Hearts because the cover made it look like an interesting game. So I did some digging, liked what I saw, and bought it. I think that the cover can attract new buyers, which is what every game wants; to be bought.

I'm with you on the eye-grabbing effect of red-on-white, though. In an age where all the other covers feature the protagonist in various poses of awesomeness (see Darksiders, Bayonetta), this cover is unique in its simplicity, I suppose. I guess I'm just a little sad that the final cover of this trilogy is so jarring from the other two.

 

[Rasmus F]

I myself would like to make ballon animals out of other peoples intestines.

 

[dmcc85]

@Mukil
Anonymous Source
Posts: 7
Joined: 23 Mar 2010


Hey! quick question. Im new to the escapist. Just wated to know why the first three posts got banned? I know you usually get banned for saying ill of someone. But as far as I can say it was nothing offensive? Just dont want to maek the same mistake! (I couldn't find forum rules on the featured content section)


what toppic did you write for?
was it in one of the "zero-punctuations"?
if you complain about those you might want to know, this is allways about turning the worst parts of a game to the max. and it is i think ironic most of the time, because games do not have to make sense, as long as thei're entertaining.
so watch the show, and do not think too much about it, or make your own videos about it on youtube.
no offense, okay.
talking bad about games is what he does.
using bad words should not offend you, and you shouldnt complain, if he turns your favorite game down.

man, this is getting off toppic i guess...

 

[Fox242]

I've been waiting for a while for this review and I wasn't disappointed. Well, his sore throat did dampen things, but he never ceases to make great views week after week. I absolutely love God of War and I especially love God of War III. It is was everything I expected it to be and much more. I did find a few criticisms along the lines of what Yahtzee found, but they did little to dampen the experience

This isn't one I expected Yahtzee to hate, after all he even liked Chains of Olympus.
Also, the taxi cab driven by a balloon with a face drawn on, priceless!

I don't believe that Yahtzee said that he hated it, he just didn't know why it existed. Look for him to possibly give it his Game of the Year stamp at the end of the year or at least acknowledge it as one of the best games of the year. I also loved the part about the balloon face as well as the thing about Cronos being a big as a pregnant aircraft carrier.

Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word. But it's hard to imagine him really liking a game he described as being wholly ridiculous and unnecessary. I think he just likes the God of War series as a whole (and the concept behind it) more than anything else in this case.

That's probably the best way to put it. He has said before that there isn't anything majorly wrong with the series as a whole. He's just nitpicking here for the sake of comedy. The story for GOd of War III was a little bit silly, but then again the strength of God of War has always been the game play.

 

[SonicKoala]

@Mukil
Anonymous Source
Posts: 7
Joined: 23 Mar 2010


Hey! quick question. Im new to the escapist. Just wated to know why the first three posts got banned? I know you usually get banned for saying ill of someone. But as far as I can say it was nothing offensive? Just dont want to maek the same mistake! (I couldn't find forum rules on the featured content section)


what toppic did you write for?
was it in one of the "zero-punctuations"?
if you complain about those you might want to know, this is allways about turning the worst parts of a game to the max. and it is i think ironic most of the time, because games do not have to make sense, as long as thei're entertaining.
so watch the show, and do not think too much about it, or make your own videos about it on youtube.
no offense, okay.
talking bad about games is what he does.
using bad words should not offend you, and you shouldnt complain, if he turns your favorite game down.

man, this is getting off toppic i guess...

They got banned for responding to the video before they'd finished watching it - it essentially just boils down to a bunch of people wanting to yell "first" on the forums, which isn't taken kindly here. Notice how their posts were all around 9:02, when the video was posted at 9:00 and was 5 minutes long. Yeah, don't do that =D