Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto 5

[Carpenter]

Sounds like I was right to avoid this, for the moment at least. Also sounds about on the same sort of wavelength as Tito's review too. Interesting to see that it hasn't had the same amount of fanboy rage about it.

Did you read Tito's review? It wasn't "fanboy rage" and was well justified considering Tito gets paid to review games and he makes a review that does nothing but complain about the story, state things that are demonstrably false (I explained this in the "worst reviews" thread if you care to know what I am talking about) and then ends it by giving it a good score.

If he didn't like the game, that's valid, but doing nothing but complain about one aspect of the game and then giving it a good score shows a whole new degree to unprofessionalism that I had only seen on Gamefaqs user reviews before that.

But yes, call it "fanboy rage" and say that people were just "mad it didn't get a perfect score" because apparently strawman arguments are the norm on the Escapist forums and from the Escapist staff.

 

[Carpenter]

So basically the impression I got from this was this did not deserve that billion dollars in sales it got and was basically just GTA IV minus the escort missions.

Yeah....I'll just stick to Saint's Row from now on. GTA has lost me as a franchise.

That's not even close to anything the video was stating.

Yes, please stick to saints row. Starting to see why people don't appreciate the work that went into that game either.

 

[Pink Gregory]

I hooted like a loon at that final joke. I'm a bad person.

Having more than 2-3 people writing a single character's dialogue is a terrible idea. Even then, it's really one writing and two editing.

 

[Goliath100]

...other open world games...

I'm getting really tired of this, especially when professionals do it to. What others exactly?

 

[Carpenter]

I hooted like a loon at that final joke. I'm a bad person.

Having more than 2-3 people writing a single character's dialogue is a terrible idea. Even then, it's really one writing and two editing.

So comics are a horrible idea?
You know how many people have written dialog for spiderman? Still manages to be a consistent character.

I love ZP but if you believe the characters are poorly written just because Yahtzee told you so, maybe you should avoid games as a whole.

 

[Evonisia]

The thing I've noticed in all the advertisements is that they are all about a blonde chick in a bikini. I don't even know who she is (maybe the daughter of one the the playable characters?), but it seems whoever is behind that decision doesn't think the protagonists are appealing enough to sell the game.

She's not even a character in the game, unless she's just one of the random NPCs. I guess just showing a pair of breasts will attract people to your game.

 

[Andy Shandy]

Sounds like I was right to avoid this, for the moment at least. Also sounds about on the same sort of wavelength as Tito's review too. Interesting to see that it hasn't had the same amount of fanboy rage about it.

Did you read Tito's review? It wasn't "fanboy rage" and was well justified considering Tito gets paid to review games and he makes a review that does nothing but complain about the story, state things that are demonstrably false (I explained this in the "worst reviews" thread if you care to know what I am talking about) and then ends it by giving it a good score.

If he didn't like the game, that's valid, but doing nothing but complain about one aspect of the game and then giving it a good score shows a whole new degree to unprofessionalism that I had only seen on Gamefaqs user reviews before that.

But yes, call it "fanboy rage" and say that people were just "mad it didn't get a perfect score" because apparently strawman arguments are the norm on the Escapist forums and from the Escapist staff.

Yes, I did read it, and I'll call it fanboy rage because that's what quite a bit of it was, new users signing up specifically to whine that their precious GTA V didn't get a perfect score. Although I will admit at least it wasn't as bad as what it was over at Gamespot.

 

[baconmaster]

GTAV is easily my favorite entry of the series, but I agree with a lot of the points made here. Basically the same story as every other time he reviewed a game I liked (except for the Last of Us, but I think he reviewed that after reading a plot summary on wikipedia and watching a couple of gameplay videos.)

People will probably rage anyway. GTA is a series that gets stupidly high praise even when it's clunky and boring

 

[IamLEAM1983]

This whole "SR versus GTA" thing is nothing short of silly. It's like pretending that Skyrim and Dark Souls are competing games. A person is perfectly capable of enjoying both, I think I'm living proof of that. This whole idea that you need to knock one game because you like another is just childish.

It certainly is silly, but try explaining to my mother and grandmother that no matter which spaghetti sauce company you favour, you're still eating goddamn spaghetti. If this proves anything, it's that the details matter to some people. I enjoy a fuckton of different sauces and I've been warming up to GTA V through watching Let's Plays and Longplays - but the fact remains that my original post obviously details a personal judgment.

With cynicism and dry realism being all the rage in terms of game development, I found myself naturally gravitating towards the one title that offered me a break from all this. I'm still lukewarm towards GTA V largely because of its tone, not because I'm somehow unable to perceive that someone else might find its mechanics more rewarding.

 

[Pink Gregory]

I hooted like a loon at that final joke. I'm a bad person.

Having more than 2-3 people writing a single character's dialogue is a terrible idea. Even then, it's really one writing and two editing.

So comics are a horrible idea?
You know how many people have written dialog for spiderman? Still manages to be a consistent character.

I love ZP but if you believe the characters are poorly written just because Yahtzee told you so, maybe you should avoid games as a whole.

Do single issues of comics have multiple dialogue writers? I'm likening a single game to a single comic issue, not a long-running character.

Also, you're being massively presumptuous; I didn't mention anything about the writing of GTAV, naturally I haven't played it so I can't comment, I just thought that the idea of writing by committee isn't the best approach. I got the impression that Yahtzee was insinuating that he felt there was a design by committee approach to the writing.

Huh, well it would appear I was wrong, only three writers credited on IMDB.

 

[mike1921]

So basically the impression I got from this was this did not deserve that billion dollars in sales it got and was basically just GTA IV minus the escort missions.

Yeah....I'll just stick to Saint's Row from now on. GTA has lost me as a franchise.

That's not even close to anything the video was stating.

Yes, please stick to saints row. Starting to see why people don't appreciate the work that went into that game either.

Honestly, who cares how much work went into it? You're not buying the labor, you're buying the results of that labor.

 

[Fox12]

Heroic army of Escapist critics and commentators forming up to face the hordes of GTA5 fanboys, flame shields in hand, like the soldiers at Thermopylae.

Look around and realize there aren't any fanboys.

 

[Carrots_macduff]

I have yet to hear a reasonable response when I ask people why they enjoy the GTA series

then pull your fingers out of your ears. there are many things to like about the series, maybe just not things for YOU to like.

but thats cool, one mans brilliance is another mans squishy, rancid poo

 

[Carrots_macduff]

There Escapist, is that enough 'fanboy rage' for you?

i find it deliciously arrogant that people try to preempt fanboy bitching by bitching about fanboys

 

[AgentLampshade]

Having just completed the main story I can definitely agree about the plot threads and the lack of overarching thread.

Spoiler: End game spoilys

The end mission (assuming you chose option C) is you killing everyone who pissed you off. While this is implemented pretty well in that you can switch characters at any point to kill the target, I simply didn't care about them.

Steve Haynes was actually pretty funny, and I would have liked him to have more screen time and possibly become the main antagonist. Wei Cheng seemed to forget Trevor even existed at that point so he should have been an earlier target. Stretch made for a good antagonist for Frank but again, should have been killed earlier so we could focus on the main antagonist. Devin Weston was also an okay character, and probably made for the best antagonist.

A game like GTA needs a main antagonist to drive the plot. Even GTAIV had this. Dmitri was an unlikeable asshole, but that's what made him such a great antagonist. You always had the feeling he was just behind you with a gun to your head. In GTAV, there's so many guns pointed at people it's tough to care.

Not sure where he's getting the "poorly written characters" from. It's a satire of crime, not an accurate criminal sim aiming for Oscar-quality dialogue.

Oh wait, hold on. I wish there was a mission in GTAV where you rob a bank by following this plan: "We walk in, wave the gun around, and leave very rich men."

 

[JamesStone]

Aaaaaahhh, the scout of the fanboy rage finally arrived. Finally gave up on trying to connect to GTA Online mate?

And I won't even bother going into your affirmations (it IS a matter of opinion, a very poorly justified opinion in your case) besides the glitchy part. You do know it's purposefully glitchy? Because they're taking down a simulation? And creating these glitches? Let me guess, it gets glitchier closer to Rift Events [rolls eyes].

It's funny how you call me a fanboy. First off, this is the first GTA game I've ever purchased. I've never even played any of the other ones for more than half an hour. I liked Red Dead Redemption and LA Noire, but that would hardly make me a fanboy. You won't even go into anything else I say because absolutely nothing I said would have pinned me as a fanboy, you're just looking for a random insult. I also haven't even tried connecting to GTA online yet because I knew it was going to be a mess ever since they announced that there would be an online mode.

And really? Purposefully glitchy? I wasn't even talking about the graphical glitches. I'm not stupid. I'm talking about the fact that sometimes cars would literally run me off the road for no reason. There were times when I saw a car stuck under a semi freaking out until they both exploded. Cars were stuck in trees. Bullets often simply didn't connect. You can't just say "well it's a simulation so it's supposed to happen!" And you call me a fanboy.

Oh no, my dear friend. I called you a scout. Scout. Scoooooooooooooooooout. Fanboys do then to present better points. A scout of fanboy rage simply marks the territory to be desolated by the mindless sheep. Sometimes it works, others not so much. But you're still just a scout.

Second, I wasn't talking about visual glitches either. Notice how most of the glitches happen inside the simulation. I have experienced some of the same glitches as you, with higher frequency at the endgame, but the Zinyak battle? None.

Third, your points are very subjective and shallow. I did not wish to discuss them for that reason and still don't. I'm just calling you out on it because you need some actual arguments to support those claims.

 

[Atmos Duality]

So, in brief: "Bland unlikeable characters, non-existent story, has better driving than GTA4."
And that is why I don't make any purchasing decisions based on Zero Punctuation, or Yahtzee in general, because it didn't tell me a whole lot about the game.

Well, maybe GTA5 will blow my mind a year from now when the more whiny nutters vocal fans have shut their collective yaps so I can form an honest, actual opinion on the game without having to deal with the Ordo Hereticus mob mentality.