Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto 5

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Banzaiman

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Why is it that I found the soldier bit at the end the most hilarious part of the review? I actually laughed out loud at that, which hasn't happened in a while.

OT: Fair review, and though I think the heist missions deserve a bit bigger commendation (going from "drive fat bloke here" to "put on bulletproof armour and rip shit up with a minigun"), it really is just people doing stuff. The solution: jetpacks.
 

Proverbial Jon

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Nov 10, 2009
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trty00 said:
I thought GTA V had excellent writing and characterization and voice acting. I thought Los Santos and Blaine County were both fully realized worlds that were massive in scope and had tons of things to do. I thought the story was slick and well paced and it felt like the only GTA story that didn't have any unnecesary padding. I thought that Rockstar finally nailed the driving mechanics, and every hobby/activity was fleshed out. Quite frankly, V is my favorite GTA game, despite it not being totally infallible (Fuck you super cops. Fuck. You.).

There Escapist, is that enough 'fanboy rage' for you?
Quoted for truth. I honestly had an awesome time in the game. I don't know why everyone has a stick up their arse about "scripted" games.

Perhaps I'm easily pleased but I was incredibly engaged in the story and found Michael and Trevor's relationship utterly fascinating.

Have I become the lowest common denominator in liking this game? GTA fans call out for less serious in their GTA, they get less serious and now they moan it's too disjointed and scripted? Who are the whiny fanboys now, huh?
 

Darth_Payn

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BX3 said:
Looking through the comments and once again there's more posts talking about irrational fanboy rage than actual irrational fanboy rage.

Can someone please explain this fucking phenomenon to me? Maybe if I know the mentality behind it, it won't irk me so damn much every time I see it.
There were angry hordes of fanboys in the comments of Greg Tito's review calling for his head and hurling death threats at his family for giving GTA V 3.5 stars out of 5. I'll say that again to drive it home : 3.5/5 That's the kind of score I was happy to get for a score on homework or a test in school.
 

Jacco

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I agree about the heists. I was expecting Rainbow 6 style heist planning and the ability to heist anything, not just the mission buildings. But mostly I was looking forward to the Rainbow 6 style planning. That would have made this game so much better.
 

ProfessorLayton

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Nov 6, 2008
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Goliath100 said:
I'm getting really tired of this, especially when professionals do it to. What others exactly?
Far Cry 3 is a great example. Sure, you can run around this huge island, but why would you? The only reason to explore is to find radio towers, which just reveal more of the map, and take over bases. I guess there's hunting too but nothing like GTA. Assassin's Creed is another example, where the only side missions just give you money and the only thing you use money on is buying things that give you more money.

MinionJoe said:
Ah! Thank you. That does explain why you don't miss all of the side activities that were in IV that were stripped out of V, like pool and bowling.
That's true, I can't because I have nothing to compare it to other than the poker in Red Dead. However, I don't see how that could make or break a game purchase. Didn't people hate being constantly called by their cousin to go bowling? That being said, there are plenty of random filler things like tennis and golf. So it's not like they simply removed filler activities, just replaced them with other types that were more flavorful.

JamesStone said:
Oh no, my dear friend. I called you a scout. Scout. Scoooooooooooooooooout. Fanboys do then to present better points. A scout of fanboy rage simply marks the territory to be desolated by the mindless sheep. Sometimes it works, others not so much. But you're still just a scout.

Second, I wasn't talking about visual glitches either. Notice how most of the glitches happen inside the simulation. I have experienced some of the same glitches as you, with higher frequency at the endgame, but the Zinyak battle? None.

Third, your points are very subjective and shallow. I did not wish to discuss them for that reason and still don't. I'm just calling you out on it because you need some actual arguments to support those claims.
So you insult me for no reason and still refuse to back up any claim whatsoever other than the fact that you agree with me that Saints Row IV is glitchy. Lazy game design hiding under the guise of "the glitches are a feature" is still lazy game design. I don't understand how having a random AI car stuck in a tree or the physics engine bug out and send me flying through the air when I hit a curb is excusable just because we're claiming that it's in a simulation. I had bugs outside of the simulation as well, mind you, so even if every single random exploding semi was completely done on purpose within the context of the game there were many problems I had outside of that.

Explain to me why my points are invalid and drop that presumptuous, snarky attitude and then I'll take you seriously. I have arguments for why Saints Row IV is a terrible game and if you want me to elaborate on any of them I'd be more than willing to.

-Dragmire- said:
...K, I found Saints Row 4 very fun. I loved the powers and enjoyed the tone and humor.

Why is it not a matter of opinion?
You can find it fun but that certainly doesn't make it a good game. I loved Prototype for the superpowers but I'll be the first to admit the game is trash. I found Eat Lead hilarious but I know the actual game itself is horrible. I'll also say that when I played Saints Row IV I was laughing until I could barely breathe but that doesn't make it good.
 

JayDeth

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Dec 18, 2009
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You know, I like the game, but I have to totally agree. Still a fun game though with typical funny writing.

And boobs.
 

Gunjester

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Banzaiman said:
Why is it that I found the soldier bit at the end the most hilarious part of the review? I actually laughed out loud at that, which hasn't happened in a while.

OT: Fair review, and though I think the heist missions deserve a bit bigger commendation(going from "drive fat bloke here" to "put on bulletproof armour and rip shit up with a minigun), it really is just people doing stuff. The solution: jetpacks.
Probably because it was the funniest part of the review...

OT: Haven't played this game but never been too big on GTA to begin with...except Vice City...God, I love Vice city. Anyways, the people who are crying about Yahtzee, or crying about how fanboys are going to whine about Yahtzee (inadvertently being fanboys themselves) are forgetting something important about ZP. The biggest factor in a ZP review is humour, not legitimate criticism. Yahtzee needs to make fun of the game, so he only talks about the worst things in it. You want to whine about how he didn't mention Gameplay? CONGRATULATIONS! It means the game has good gameplay! So stop complaining about Yahtzee never commenting on the good in games. He only does that with games he finds OUTSTANDING, not good.
 

-Dragmire-

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Mar 29, 2011
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ProfessorLayton said:
-Dragmire- said:
...K, I found Saints Row 4 very fun. I loved the powers and enjoyed the tone and humor.

Why is it not a matter of opinion?
You can find it fun but that certainly doesn't make it a good game. I loved Prototype for the superpowers but I'll be the first to admit the game is trash. I found Eat Lead hilarious but I know the actual game itself is horrible. I'll also say that when I played Saints Row IV I was laughing until I could barely breathe but that doesn't make it good.
I suppose we differ in opinion of what makes a good game, I base the quality of a game based on the enjoyment I had with it. Naturally I knock it for faults like crashes and lag spikes but if the experience is good enough, I'll still call it a good game.
 

Banzaiman

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ProfessorLayton said:
You can find it fun but that certainly doesn't make it a good game.
Glad you clarified that, but at the same time why isn't something fun 'good'? Just curious here, because a lot of people define a game that is fun as being a game that is good. If you don't measure a game's quality by the fun you're having, what do you measure it by?
 

bigfatcarp93

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That ending bit about WWII was funnier then it should have been...

OT: I don't think Yahtzee will have to worry about getting flamed by GTA fans until this goes to Youtube. Escapists don't flame, they just make dry jokes about flame shields, use memes "ironically", and go "ugh, that is SO blase'" everytime someone mentions a game made after 2002.

I never really played GTA. Doesn't sound fun now, more than any time...
 

ProfessorLayton

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-Dragmire- said:
I suppose we differ in opinion of what makes a good game, I base the quality of a game based on the enjoyment I had with it. Naturally I knock it for faults like crashes and lag spikes but if the experience is good enough, I'll still call it a good game.
Banzaiman said:
Glad you clarified that, but at the same time why isn't something fun 'good'? Just curious here, because a lot of people define a game that is fun as being a game that is good. If you don't measure a game's quality by the fun you're having, what do you measure it by?
I just try to look at things objectively because "I had fun" isn't a very good reason to recommend a game. I personally love RPGs, but I'm not about to recommend Persona 3 to someone who only plays Call of Duty or something. Whenever I try to review or recommend something, I think about the strengths and weaknesses of the game rather than my personal opinion.

It's something that's quantifiable rather than something that differs from person to person. I can count how many glitches I see in a game. I'm able to observe texture popping and poor AI. I can tell when a story doesn't make sense. However, I can't tell you whether or not you'll enjoy it because I'm not you.
 

tyriless

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bigfatcarp93 said:
That ending bit about WWII was funnier then it should have been...

OT: I don't think Yahtzee will have to worry about getting flamed by GTA fans until this goes to Youtube. Escapists don't flame, they just make dry jokes about flame shields, use memes "ironically", and go "ugh, that is SO blase'" everytime someone mentions a game made after 2002.

I never really played GTA. Doesn't sound fun now, more than any time...
I think you nailed it on the head. This totally applies to pretty much any review on the Escapist unless politics and gender issues are brought up. Then oh-boy! Watch the comments count soar!
 

Goliath100

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ProfessorLayton said:
Far Cry 3 is a great example. Sure, you can run around this huge island, but why would you? The only reason to explore is to find radio towers, which just reveal more of the map, and take over bases. I guess there's hunting too but nothing like GTA. Assassin's Creed is another example, where the only side missions just give you money and the only thing you use money on is buying things that give you more money.
And this is my problem with the "other...ain't gonna name anything" exemple. Neither of those games are the first thing coming to mind when comparing GTA with somehing. Personally I was thinking of Just Cause and Saint's Row.
 

ProfessorLayton

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Goliath100 said:
And this is my problem with the "other...ain't gonna name anything" exemple. Neither of those games are the first thing coming to mind when comparing GTA with somehing. Personally I was thinking of Just Cause and Saint's Row.
Ok, well in that case Saint's Row has absolutely nothing to do of value outside of side quests and those don't really affect anything at all. I was just talking about any open world game. But yeah if you wanna talk about GTA clones, Mercenaries only gives you things to blow up and Mafia II... well, Mafia II doesn't really give you anything at all. I can't speak about Just Cause because despite owning both I haven't actually played them.

Those are all "other" open world games with maps that feel more empty than Grand Theft Auto V.
 

Rad Party God

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Feb 23, 2010
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I expect Shadow Warrior next (two) week(s). The game is incredibly awesome, as in, it might be one of the very best shooters this year and one of the best I've played in the last few years... and that's saying a lot.
 

Muspelheim

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Ow! Why is this room so bright?

http://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/941809/preview/stock-footage-render-of-film-projector-show-film-on-screen.jpg

Oh, I see. No wonder the picture is blurry.

More on topic, I still hang on to my copy of GTA: San Andreas, and I can't really justify an upgrade. Maybe next time!
 

daveman247

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Andy Shandy said:
Sounds like I was right to avoid this, for the moment at least. Also sounds about on the same sort of wavelength as Tito's review too. Interesting to see that it hasn't had the same amount of fanboy rage about it.
I think thats pretty simple. The escapist review is connected to metacritic, zero punctuation is not. :)


OT: I like the game, its pretty damn good. Great on a technical level (again) but not really trying anything new or having a great memorable story (its just good). In other words - great game but no where near "goty" or any other kind of weird award. Certainly not "game of the generation" like many people seem to bandy about.

Oh also the heists were massively over-hyped, good lord. Probably the best missions of the lot, but your input is much more limited than the marketing would have you believe.
 

-Dragmire-

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Mar 29, 2011
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ProfessorLayton said:
-Dragmire- said:
I suppose we differ in opinion of what makes a good game, I base the quality of a game based on the enjoyment I had with it. Naturally I knock it for faults like crashes and lag spikes but if the experience is good enough, I'll still call it a good game.
Banzaiman said:
Glad you clarified that, but at the same time why isn't something fun 'good'? Just curious here, because a lot of people define a game that is fun as being a game that is good. If you don't measure a game's quality by the fun you're having, what do you measure it by?
I just try to look at things objectively because "I had fun" isn't a very good reason to recommend a game. I personally love RPGs, but I'm not about to recommend Persona 3 to someone who only plays Call of Duty or something. Whenever I try to review or recommend something, I think about the strengths and weaknesses of the game rather than my personal opinion.

It's something that's quantifiable rather than something that differs from person to person. I can count how many glitches I see in a game. I'm able to observe texture popping and poor AI. I can tell when a story doesn't make sense. However, I can't tell you whether or not you'll enjoy it because I'm not you.
There are plenty of games that are bugless but I wouldn't recommend because I don't find them fun. I don't think I get the info I personally would want from a review that you do.
 

Goliath100

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ProfessorLayton said:
Ok, well in that case Saint's Row has absolutely nothing to do of value outside of side quests and those don't really affect anything at all.
How do you define "value" in game?