Zero Punctuation: Halo 4

[daxterx2005]

"Gay African Mammoths" Oh wow, I wish they were in the game.

 

[Carlos Storm]

At least Halo isn't trying to be the next CoD knockoff!

That's something about Halo that's always perplexed me, the alien weapons. They all look so ridiculously like toys. When you envision alien weapons, do you think nerf guns with glow sticks on them? I don't. Also, why is it in every Halo game, human weapons always seem to be the best guns, or is that just me?

I've found on the hardest difficulty human guns aren't worth carrying around for longer than it takes to find their alien equivalent. A nice contrast to the BR being the best gun around on easy...

I beg to differ. I can remember from Halo 2 that the fuel rod gun sucks HARD compared to the human equivalent: A dual-barreled rocket launcher with set-and-forget lock-on and target tracking plus it does more damage when it hits.

Oh I was really refering to the practical weapons you have to constantly carry around/deal with like the storm/assault rifle etc, but yeah the rocket launcher was really the only exception.

 

[Netrigan]

Not sure how you feel bored though, the game moves at a pretty brisk pace.

If you're not at all interested in what's happening, action can be really, really dull. I felt that way while playing various games (most recently Halo: Reach, my attempt to give the Halo franchise another go). Wading through hordes of baddies becomes tedious when your reward is a cutscene you find boring.

Setting the Wayback Machine, I had a weird experience with Unreal and its add-on campaign, "Return To Na Pali". I was thoroughly bored by Unreal which had very little story, save for what you found in journals all over the place. Lots of tough battles, but I just didn't care and I eventually god-moded my way through the game because I couldn't be bothered to put forth the effort to defeat enemies even on the lowest difficulty setting.

But I ended up enjoying the add-on because it had just enough of a story to get me interested and the same battles that bored me to tears in the original game were suddenly worthwhile.

 

[Netrigan]

Then again, he's rarely interested in the multiplayer aspects of any game which whilst understandable when multiplayer has been poorly tacked on as a way to tick a box, when it's as integral to the overall game and as large an aspect of it like it is in Halo, then its clear Yahtzee doesn't care too much for 'the whole is greater than the sum of its parts' approach and philosophy. So as entertaining as Yahtzee is and as valid and justified as many of his criticisms are, at a fundamental level, I disagree with his reviewing approach and prefer a review that deals with the whole thing, not just one aspect of it.

I've had friends drag me into multi-player for various games I didn't enjoy playing single player... and I've yet to have it work out, especially for a shooter where the enjoyment of using weapons is a big thing. If I don't enjoy shooting a shotgun in single player, then there's fuck-all chance of me enjoying shooting the same shotgun in multi-player.

There's a lot of elements that cross over between the two modes. If you don't like how the weapons look/feel, and you don't like how the character moves, and you're not impressed by the basic look of the game (all of these are basic criticisms from Yahtzee), then what do you think are the odds that he's suddenly going to be impressed by all this when playing against live opponents?

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

Halo 4 is a Gay African Mammoth
-Yahtzee Croshaw

Whenever anyone asks me about the quality of Halo 4, I will repeat that.

Great review as always and I get the complaints, but I'll never stop loving this family of Gay African Mammoths.

They may represent an evolutionary dead end, but I'll be damned if it isn't a [i/][b/]fabulous[/b][/i] evolutionary dead end.

 

[VoidWanderer]

Given how he mentioned bloom in a few Halo reviews, I'd love to see what he thinks of Hitman Absolution... once his eyes adjust to the glare!

 

[RA92]

i think you really need to have started halo at a young age to fully appreciate it.

That's... actually a bad way to put it. At a young age, tolerance for bad stuff is really low, so one can fall in love with pretty much anything. I doubt I would remember He-Man so fondly if I hadn't watched it at a young age. Nostalgia rarely works based on how good something was, but more on what that particular product reminds you of your childhood.

Not hating on Halo, BTW. It's far more inoffensive and organic compared to the spunkgargleweewee games.

 

[deathzero021]

am i the only one surprised that anyone still pays any damn attention to these games? why even review it? it's not like there's going to be anything special or new about these games.

 

[Alandoril]

Another example of Yahtzee neither hateing nor liking a game . The result is always a boring review, sorry dude .You should have reviewed Epic Mickey 2 or something.

With a game like Halo 4 I'd say there's a high chance it was simply expected of him - by fans or the Escapist. It's not like those times where he does a retro review or two indie titles that drew his eyes.

My favourite ZPs are when he hates the game like when he reviewed wolfenstein or darksiders .

Nah they're usually around 6 to 8 hours, so 10 is them being...generous, I suppose.

 

[Vault101]

there ssomthing about that image of master chef on the computer and mini cortana just lying on the floor a few feet away thats the funniest thing Ive ever seen

that or mini cortana humping the other guy

 

[Vault101]

i think you really need to have started halo at a young age to fully appreciate it. i think Yahtzee just doesn't understand it for that reason, starting off in halo 3. 1 and 2 were the best anyway.
the thing i personally disliked about halo 4 was the lack of signature halo music. thats what made the series for me. my favourite cut-scene was when it played some of the original music.

ha....no

I would actually like to play halo if I had an xbox or they didn;t drop releasing them on PC alltogether, sadly much like gears it just wasnt meant to be

and yahtzee admitting to liking a game is as rare as unicorns...got nothing to do with "getting" it

 

[Bindal]

first of all . There are halo books?

Yes, there are. Just as there are video games and books for Star Wars, books and comics for Mass Effect, ect.
That thing is called "Expanded Universe".
There are even a few Anime-shortfilms (Halo Legends).

secondly it is bad writing that people have to pretty much read the books to get what the hell is going on

No, you don't. Those books are not that important and deliver addional background content - and sometimes even conflict with the events of the game. Usually the case if the books were written before the games covered these events. But it is simply said that for canon continuity, it is: new games > old games > new non-game > old non-game. Best example might be "The Fall of Reach", which is basically "Halo: Reach - the book", which came out a few years before "Halo: Reach".

 

[Britisheagle]

Fail-o Snore actually did make me laugh. Great review - I am getting this game for Christmas however reviews from people that aren't websites have certainly lowered my expectations!

 

[floppylobster]

I needed about four more minutes of that. Just as I was laughing my ass off it stopped. I've played about two levels of Halo 4 and I will go back to it, but it was obviously inferior to the others, yet still better than 90% of the stuff out there. Well... maybe 80%.

 

[Balkan]

Another example of Yahtzee neither hateing nor liking a game . The result is always a boring review, sorry dude .You should have reviewed Epic Mickey 2 or something.

Yes, he should review a game that at most came out 3 days ago (Wii U) or at least came out 1 day ago (every other system).

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/3540-Hunted-The-Demons-Forge

Watch the first minute, you might learn something.

Wow, excuse me for not following the release dates for game I don't give a shit about on a continent I don't live .Also my "Has watched every ZP" badge should have turned you down on recomending me an year old ZP . You are blaming me for not knowing all the facts while talking out of your ass .

 

[Legion]

I always find Zero Punctuation videos of FPS games incredibly boring.

If they are like COD or similar then they are "Boring grey/brown mediocre shooters."
If they are like Halo or similar then they are "Boring brightly coloured mediocre shooters."
If they try and be something else then they are "Boring pretentious mediocre shooters."

 

[iStreeter]

So it's not bad enough for spunkgargleweewee but it's not good enough for shooter. Hmmm.... Spunkshooterweeshoot?